Drake's Reviews #7 · 5:30pm Feb 17th, 2016
Because I like procrastinating when I should be working on writing or my pony hack.
The Smartphone by SilverStar7
Simple premise - Twilight brings a smartphone back to Equestria.
The ponies are all sitting in Twi's throne room because of something to do with Fluttershy, as they point out Twilight's saddlebag is buzzing and glowing with Sunset's journal. We eventually get to Sunset Shimmer arguing with Twilight over the smartphone going back or not, the revelation that Twilight is building a cell tower in Equestria, and Sunset threatening to tell Celestia on Twilight.
One thing I like is that the fic answers the obvious question - how the heck is Twi supposed to use a smartphone in Equestria? Sunset explains that the phone seems to be picking up cell tower signals coming through the portal, and Twilight is building her own cell tower to get proper reception. A bit of a stretch but I'll let it go. However, the fic does have two problems. One, it simply isn't all that funny. The story focuses more on Twilight and Sunset arguing about if the phone should go back or not, and not on Twilight and her friends actually using the phone, which would have been far more entertaining. Heck, we don't even see the phone get taken out to use until the halfway point.
More concerning is a simple logical point - why can't Twilight keep the phone? She's a smart, mature mare, the phone not only allows her access to the human world's internet for research purposes, but technology of this level could be studied and perhaps reverse engineered. Sunset keeps insisting the phone can't be in Equestria, but the only reason she has for this is that it's specifically her phone that Twilight took. Okay, fair enough, then buy her her own phone! The fic makes a point of pointing out cell phones and monthly plans for them are expensive, but Twilight doesn't offer to finance herself?
Recommendation: A promising premise that focuses on the wrong things and so wastes its potential.
Shub-Cadurath by PresentPerfect
Be honest, we all want to know how he did that. And a simple premise, once again - Princess Flurry Heart is a Lovecraftian horror.
The first sequence is very confusing. We get odd characterizations (Luna using the Elizabethan talk worse than ever, Twilight apparently having an ego), and the ponies suddenly go crazy from seeing Flurry Heart, then are fine once they leave. We then go to the scene of Flurry Heart's birth, where it's revealed Cadance, as Princess of Love, just gives birth to Cthulhu entities after a month or so when she's pregnant; she's actually been pregnant many times, and Flurry Heart is the best they have from the latest "batch" with her only apparently deformity being her giant wings. Finally, it turns out Starlight Glimmer is also a Lovecraft entity and she sacrifices herself to banish the baby from Equestria.
This fic... I dunno. The idea is funny, yes, but the fic is also disjointed. There's a very out-of-place third segment I didn't mention where I think a cultist guard or something broke in, Shining Armor is drunk and makes a reference to corporate sponsors and Snickers, and Cadance implies the baby is grown up and getting married. Beyond that, the fic is kinda dull, to be honest. The idea is funny and the first two segments had me giggling a lot. Then the third segment completely confused me, and the last segment with Starlight Glimmer left me wondering what I'd just read and what had happened.
Given the subject matter, though, perhaps that's appropriate. Even deliberate.
Recommendation: cthulhu fhtagn
Twilight Sparkle Is Vexed By Uranus by Zef
Please don't be a fic that hits the same joke over and over. And if you are, make it funny.
Fortunately, we do. Twilight is to speak at some event about astronomy, and is confused to find that not only has the planet Uranus vanished, but so have her notes on it. She calls in Rainbow Dash to help, and to the fic's credit, Dashie, while awesome, isn't always the sharpest tool in the shed, so she would fall victim to this misunderstanding. The author then eventually has Twilight talk to the rest of the Mane Six (and Spike), milking every "Uranus" joke they can from the situation, and then Shining Armor (which leads to an awesome joke involving Cadance), and finally Celestia and Luna to solve the mystery.
So, yes. It's a fic based around exactly one joke, and beating it again and again and again and again and again. And, thanks to good characterization and good wordplay, it never stops being funny.
Recommendation Give it a read if you want to laugh Uranus off.
The Great and Powerful Courting by Hakuno.
SunTrix? Sign me up!
Trixie is strolling around Canterlot when she sees Sunset Shimmer and is sent hoof-over-head at the sight of her. The rest of the story follows Trixie's loopy attempts to follow Sunset and get a date with her. Eventually they get talking, Trixie comes clean about her desires, but a misunderstanding occurs that makes Sunset angry at her, and Trixie has to make amends. It's at this point I notice this is not a oneshot as thought, but the first chapter of a longer fic. Hurrah!
This is a joy to read, and not just because of Sunset. This is a prime example of why Trixie is so awesome in the hands of good writers. She's funny, she's charismatic, she's awkward, she's snooty, she's emotional. The POV here is awesome with appropriately pretentious and flowering narration to go with Trixie's thoughts and personality, and it works wonderfully. This had me laughing often and grinning the rest of the time.
Recommendation: A great start and a must-read for Trixie fans.
I'm very sad this reference isn't more approachable. :( It's a quote from The Godfather.
3761866 Ah. I am an uncultured hick; never saw that movie. I thought the quote was a reference to something, though.
3761906
You're not the first to be confused by it. It's probably my fault for choosing something inherently confusing given the context, though. <.<