Writing is like Sex · 6:51am Feb 17th, 2016
It involves a significant other. The terms for these entities have similar, flowery names (muse, inspiration, soul mate, etc.).
Some people prefer to do it on the computer, some prefer to do it analogue.
Some people like lots of accessories, some like to do it in a particular place—like the shower or a table—and others like to keep it as minimalist as possible.
Some people like music in the background while they do it.
It tends to follow broad, generalized formulas with specific conventions.
Experimenting outside those conventions can be rewarding, but also runs a risk of being unbearably uncomfortable.
It pays well, if you’re good enough at it.
It’s awkward to discuss with your family.
You can either take your time with it and do it right, or rush it in order to get instant gratification.
It stirs up a lot of different emotions.
Some are better at it than others, but practice still helps.
Lots of people are willing to give you advice about it, but it tends to be of limited use since it’s so subjective.
Despite the above, there’s still a lot of guides about how to do it correctly.
You get better with experience.
Your first few times will be lackluster compared to what you do later.
Not comprehensive, of course.
Another attempt at comedy, brought to you by insomnia®
Perfect analogy - 10/10
Every time I finish a chapter, I feel the need for a cigarette.
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If I might propose a modest substitution:
There's a lot of money in getting your name on the products on the shelves, but when it comes down to it, the only people who get that famous are the ones who get screwed.
Completely out of the question without plenty of relaxation, music, and chocolate to get me in the mood.
But when it starts, honey, we're not stopping until I'm finished.
And it gets better and better the faster you can move your fingers.
I never know what to say when my mother asks me about it, though she's always far more enthusiastic about it than I expect.
3760204 Maybe: Some people like to do it as a hobby, others prefer to get paid.
I considered the opposite sentiment--it doesn't pay well at all--but that required too many qualifiers to be funny. Technically the current version requires qualifiers too, since being paid for sex has more to do with availability and legality than skill. (Just like writing badumtish)
3760216 I too, have to be in the right mood to do it, and once I get into the groove, I tend to lose track of time.
Remember that it's not how fast you move your fingers, it's how much attention you pay to the little details. Move too fast and clumsily and you might sprain something.