• Member Since 28th May, 2013
  • offline last seen Feb 25th, 2023

Flint Sparks


Who let the dogs out?

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Feb
15th
2016

Update on that D&D campaign: · 5:45am Feb 15th, 2016

Now lemme tell you a little story:

The party wakes up to the wizard being poked in the face by a little girl with a stick. Minutes later, a guard comes to pick her up only to lead the escape as a horde of 300 rampaging hookers chase them into the city (with the gate crashing down before the city can be overwhelmed).

Somehow, they convinced the bartender at the pub to get drunk, tell a story about a "dancer," and somehow serve drinks while unconscious. Meanwhile, the monk is levitating and meditating in the lotus position at the monastery.

The hooker horde breaks the gate, and the party runs into a dungeon that can only be opened by an incredibly long, convoluted booty-shaking dance that can only be done by the drunk.

Faced with a ten-foot wide pit separating them from a treasure chest, they send the monk (who they had been dragging around with a rope tied to 'em, since they're still meditating and levitating) across the pit by pushing him across.

And now my campaign involved a vampire fairy hooker queen. Lots of hookers (of both sexes, mind you) and blackjack.

Report Flint Sparks · 410 views ·
Comments ( 6 )

3755350 Oh, and there's a half moon/half castle floating in the sky above town, but I highly doubt that's important.

I have to ask, how did you stat out the hooker horde? Does it count as a swarm?

3755662 It was completely non-combat.

Dude, I don't think a party of level 1 adventurers could take on 300 hookers while carrying a useless town guard and a little girl with them.

Unless they were extremely determined.

Or had high constitution and charisma.

3756788
Sorry, I have a tendency to get distracted by intriguing potential game mechanics. :twilightsheepish:

3756842 You enjoy D&D's game mechanics?

Because I really need to design a high-level vampire fairy hooker queen boss...

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