Yes, Twilight Sparkle There Is a Santa Hooves - Reading + Extras · 2:56am Dec 26th, 2015
A reminder that my holiday fic recommendation list is still here, if you have not yet overdosed on Christmas carols and holiday cheer.
I have received a very joyous Christmas gift from Neighrator Pony in the form of a reading of Yes, Twilight Sparkle There is a Santa Hooves.
It’s a wonderful life when I have people who do this kind of wonderful thing to me out of the blue. I love you all.
As a bonus, I’m including a little something from several of our MLP characters of recent history below the break.
* ♥ *
Tirek, Lord of the Centaurs and Dominator of Equestria shook himself awake from his cold slumber to stare at the single lump of coal resting just inside the range of his chained hooves. He hauled back and kicked it, hearing the rattle and clunk of the carbonaceous missile as it rebounded around Tartarus outside of his vision and to the curses and shouts of his fellow prisoners.
“I hate this season,” he muttered.
* ♥ *
“Where is he!” The deafening screech of Queen Chrysalis filled the hive, and dozens of changelings playing with little toys quickly tucked them away as the source of the noise stomped into view. “The traps are empty! The snares are triggered, but there’s not a reindeer to be found. What kind of incompetents are you?”
“B-beg pardon, Your Majesticness,” hissed a changeling in front of an empty Santa-Trapper 6000. “We prepared the device just as the salesponies specified, and baited it with the most delicious cookies. We have no idea what happened!”
The changeling wiped crumbs off his upper lip after the queen turned her attention onto another hapless set of changelings. “You idiots! He’s one single fat reindeer! How much trouble can it be to catch him?”
After the queen stamped away and the sounds of her shouting had died down to a faint bellow far away, one of the changelings who had been subjected to her ire nodded to the rest of his hivelings. “Ok, we’re clear. I got two candy canes. Does anyling want to trade for a chocolate peanut cluster?”
* ♥ *
Sunset Shimmer settled down with the rest of her human friends for a friendly morning present exchange at Sweet Apple Acres. Scraps of wrapping paper were scattered around as the last presents were opened, but a debate had begun as the first presents had been handed out, and was growing.
“Ah can’t believe you really still believe in Santa Claus,” chided Applejack. “How old are you, anyway?”
“Old enough to know what I believe in is true,” responded Sunset.
“An’ he travels all around the world in your world and ours, giving presents to all of the good boys and girls. That sounds like a load of hooey.”
“She’s right,” said Rainbow Dash as she stuffed her hair up into a multicolored knit stocking cap with a sparkly pom-pom on the top. “I haven’t believed in Santa since I caught my parents slipping presents under the tree when I was like five.
“He’s real, and I can prove it. Now all of these presents that were under the tree were from all of you girls, right?”
“Right,” chorused her friends.
“Then this present here had to have come from one of you, right?”
“Why of course,” declared Rarity, although with a craning of her neck to examine the snowflake and horseshoe pattern that decorated the surface of the box. “It doesn’t match anybody else’s gifts, though.”
“It’s from Santa Hooves,” said Sunset with a strange combination of a frown and a smile. “He’s sent me a lump of coal every year I’ve been here as a reminder of just how bad—”
The packaged opened, but what was inside was most certainly not coal. Instead, a dozen cookies, iced and covered with sprinkles rested inside the small box.
“Well, I’ll be,” declared Applejack. “Pinkie Pie snuck in an extra.”
“They’re not mine,” said Pinkie. “Can we try one.”
“Sure,” said Sunset Shimmer, handing them out and taking the last one. With a satisfied crunch, she bit into it and chewed, a broad smile spreading across her face as she took another bite. “This is fantastic. Alfalfa-nut with sorghum sprinkles, just like the castle bakery used to make every year at Hearth’s Warming. I guess I’m off the Naughty List this year.”
She looked up at the circle of her friends, each of which had taken a bite of their own cookie and each of them having the exact same expression, i.e. that of a good friend who had just taken a bite of something horrible but were too well-mannered to spit it out. Sunset sighed and picked up the trash can, passing it around as each of her friends spit out their bite of cookie and promptly took a drink of punch to wash away the taste.
“Your loss,” said Sunset Shimmer after collecting the uneaten cookies and tucking them back into the box.
* ♥ *
The Great and Powerful Trixie stirred from beneath her thick comforter as the pink light of dawn filtered in through the tiny window in her newest wagon. It was cold outside, and quite cold inside too, as the wind whistled through the cracks and crevices of the lowest-bid transport and stage, but her blanket was warm, and Trixie had hung up her stocking last night with great anticipation.
The hoof-embroidered blanket, labelled with her cutie mark in a color that perfectly matched her own coat, was a present from Twilight Sparkle’s friends, as were several other items in her tiny bedroom. It was that gesture that had made Trixie set out the glass of almond milk and the single gingerbread cookie last night, and the results this morning indicated her efforts were not in vain.
The icy air tingled in her nose as Trixie lit her horn and began to levitate out the contents of her stocking, which had been hung with care by the tiny cast-iron stove in her tiny bedroom. Starswirl’s Voluminous Storeroom spell had worked exactly as Trixie had expected, and the simple sock must have contained several hundredweight before it had filled up to the top.
“Thank you, Santa Hooves,” murmured Trixie as she levitated several lumps of coal into her tiny stove and lit it with a touch of magic. “You’re not such a bad reindeer after all.”
they are all good but this line is art. “Ok, we’re clear. I got two candy canes. Does anyling want to trade for a chocolate peanut cluster?”
...this raises some interesting questions about people who want coal.
3643766 There's an allegory by CS Lewis (I think) that imagines heaven and hell together, the blessed and damned bound alike in thrones with one arm let free before an endless feast, with the only utensils yard-long silverware. The damned burn with envy, unable to serve themselves, while the blessed feed their neighbors.
Although that's an allegory you'd be best to follow Twain's caution in only taking the wisdom present in a lesson and no more...
Listen to that smooooth molasses. I need to listen to the rest of the reading another time, ortherwise I'm going to fall asleep on the couch!
Heh. Calling it now, Georg is/will be one of those ad voice introducer people.
3645578 That's not me, that's Neighrator Pony. My voice is nothing to write home about. My octaves have seven notes.
3643993 I remember reading a ponyfic where the dammed and the blessed afterlife was the same neighborhood, but the blessed got together in happy groups and talked about how wonderful a place it was while the dammed just grouped together and grumbled. You make your own heaven or hell, I guess.
3643766 Mostly people with coal-fired stoves. Trixie has enough to last through those cold, cold nights now.
3643452 I try.
This week on Crazy Bosses, we have the Queen of the Changelings! She's going to go undercover in one of her love-collecting operations, and our camera crew will be filming every minute!
3660543 Ah, whoops.