Christmas is coming, the author is getting fat. And plugging a story. · 9:30pm Dec 5th, 2015
I’m trying to put together another Christmas fic list like last year, so if you’ve got a favorite, add it into the comments and I’ll see if I can get an actual list put together before January (darned real world.) There’s actually a group for this, Hearths and Hooves, which makes fascinating reading. I’m going to be adding A Very Merry Chrysalis and Snowboardling to my buggy Xmas list, as well as the Mary is a Mare and Sunflower crossover, A Very Mary Christmas With Erin, which is just adorable.
Now, I promised I’d plug Winston’s new story, For a Good Time, Call where EqG Twilight Sparkle makes her first (accidental) prank phone call, and gets pranked back quite solidly. (I seem to be on a mischief roll in both stories and favorites lately) Read, enjoy, and upthumb liberally.
Below the break, I have a snippet that I wrote on his blog posting teasing the new story that I just have to share, as well as a snippet from Mount Olympus - Pony Style (title subject to change) that I’m doodling on.
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Sunset Shimmer fumbled with her phone in the pre-dawn darkness, jabbing for the green button. "Yello?"
"Hello, young lady. I'm with the Society for Heart Awareness, and we'd like--"
The red button was far easier to hit and Sunset put the phone back on the nightstand after checking the time. She had just closed her eyes when it rang again.
"Good morning, Sir or Madam. We have a wonderful opportunity for you if--"
The red button was a lot easier to hit this time. "Not even six in the morning and a weekend to boot. I gotta ask if Twilight can come up with something to fire a magical nuke down the phone line for these little creeps." She muttered a few more unprintable maledictions against all telemarketers when the phone buzzed despite being silenced. She ignored it, settling down in the covers as it buzzed away, until unable to hold herself back, she touched the 'stupid' button again, as she was beginning to view it.
"Hello. Would you be willing to participate in a brief survey in order to win a chance--"
Sunset glared at the phone, and then out into the darkness. She really didn't want to get rid of the phone. Her friends called her on it. It was probably her own fault for using the phone number on those websites, but she wanted to sleep in this Saturday morning. There was only one thing to do.
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Princess Twilight Sparkle shifted in her bed, trying to ignore the faint glow of morning that was beginning to filter in through the huge windows in her castle. It was a weekend, and since she had spent far too long last night studying, there was no reason to get out of bed except for a strange muffled warbling noise that seemed to be coming from Spike's bed. She opened one eye and looked at Spike, who was draped over his bed with his mouth partially open. Strangely, the sound seemed to be coming from him, and in particular, his mouth. She crept across the cold crystal floor and carefully opened his mouth, only to have the strange noise stop, and something even stranger start.
"Hello, Sir or Madam. If you are a homeowner, we have an opportunity for you. Our company is looking for a sample home in your neighborhood. All you need to do is allow our technicians to apply a full set of aluminum siding and permit a certain number of your neighbors to come over to admire it, and your siding can be free!"
* Ω *
At one time, Mount Olympus was the home of the Greek gods. Then they let the first pony in.
There goes the neighborhood
* ✹ *
Mount Olympus - Pony Style
Sunrise
Towering above the plains and mountains of Greece, but only in a metaphorical way because the physical mountain Olympus could only be in one place without an awful lot of physical effort on the behalf of mortals, while the home of the gods could be wherever they wanted it to be…
Where was I? Oh, yes. Olympus.
Olympus was a peaceful place, relatively. And most of those relatives were related to Zeus, Father of the Gods (and sometimes grandfather, or uncle, or second cousin once removed, but we digress.) Zeus Allfather (and sometimes other relative as mentioned earlier) looked down upon his mountain with a smug sense of satisfaction. Drunken debauchery would start shortly, as the sun was about to rise and shake any number of nubile dryads and satyrs from their exhausted slumber so that they could begin frolicking among the hanging gardens and little private nooks just the right size for two young gods and goddesses, or maybe three.
“Zeus!” The amount of lungpower that Hera could exert on a simple word shook the windows and rattled the roof tiles of their heavenly home. “Have those two new goddesses shown up yet?”
“No, Honeybunch!” called back Zeus, concealing a wince. Gods and goddesses seemed to show up in Olympus on a weekly basis, but he had been looking forward to meeting these two without the presence of Hera Allmother looking over his shoulder. They were supposed to be sisters, the next best thing to twins, and of estimable beauty and grace too. Young goddesses always enjoyed being shown around by the biggest god on the mountain and introduced to the (ahem) pleasures of their new home.
He conjured up a quick brass mirror and checked his reflection in the glow of the impending sunrise, manifesting a little more hair around his receding hairline and putting a bit more dimple into his chin. Even Hera Allmother could not watch everywhere, and since Argus had been ‘accidentally’ been killed by Hermes, the number of eyes that followed Zeus had been reduced by a substantial fraction. At least one of the sisters was going to get lucky today, if Zeus had anything to say about it.
And he did.
The sound of approaching hooves in the darkness distracted Zeus from ensuring his hairstyle was properly parted, so he unmanifested the mirror and struck a noble pose, turning towards the oncoming lucky goddesses with a broad smile and a loud, “Welcome to Olym—”
SILENCE!
The window that Zeus had been standing beside blew out in a cloud of glassy powder. There was a distant rattle of roof tiles as the roof above his head had became somewhat less of a roof and more of a framework where said tiles once rested. Zeus himself was blown back several feet and temporarily blinded by the blast of wind that had accompanied the ear-bursting volume of the most certainly a goddess-level command. As his ears finished ringing and he blinked the dust out of his eyes, he could feel his heart beating faster and an irresistible smile start to spread across his face. Now that was the voice of a goddess, powerful and strong, not like the shrill harping and complaining of his beloved and far too attentive wife. He turned back in the direction of the new arrivals with a genuine smile and a little bit of a leer leaking out around the edges. He looked up, past the tall legs and flowing manes of the horses that the goddesses had ridden to his door and was just opening his mouth to greet them (in a far quieter fashion) when he noticed a certain absence of goddessness on top of the horses.
Perhaps they are very small. Or invisible.
“Excuse me.” This voice was very soft, and whispered as if it were at the bottom of an immense avalanche waiting to happen. “Great Zeus, sir. I’m so pleased to meet you after all these years.”
Of all things, the horse’s mouth was moving to match the words. It was a magnificent horse indeed, with broad white wings and a spiraling horn coming out of its forehead, much as if the best parts of a unicorn and a pegasus had been brought together into one perfect being. A river of pastel colors pooled around its bare hooves from a cascade that flowed down from its tail and majestic mane. Topping the whole elegant sight was a small golden crown fitted with a violet gem, which glittered in the darkness as if it held sunlight just ready to burst out across the dark mountain.
Thanks for the plug! For A Good Time, Call... is already pretty high on the heat list in a pretty short time, and with this extra bit of help, I'm daring to hope that it might just reach feature box territory!
I dunno about you, but I've been fat. :B
Regarding Mount Olympus - Pony Style:
I really don't think Zeus will have any problems. In his time, he has transformed into swan, bull, satyr, and a shower of gold (I don't think I want to know how that works). He's also turned women into animals. So, I think it wouldn't be a stretch to think he could do it the other way.
You know, knowing Zeus, the fact they are horses really probably won't put him off to god-awful much.
Hell, he might even think that Hera couldn't possibly feel jealous of a horse. It doesn't count!
3595597 “I don’t see why you’re so upset,” harrumphed Hera, Goddessmother of Olympus. “Lift your arm,” she added to her husband.
“I’m not upset,” said Zeus with a scowl, but lifted his arm as directed and allowed his wife to examine the split seam in his tunic. “It just isn’t natural. They’re horses.”
“Alicorns, dear,” said Hera. She threaded her needle and began to stitch the seam up again. “They’re like ponies, only a little more divine. I stopped off by their place yesterday and had a wonderful talk with them. Well, Celestia at least. Her sister was sleeping off another bender. Besides,” she added with a harrumph, “for a god who runs around as a bull, I didn’t think you would mind having some equine goddesses around.”
“True,” said Zeus. “Ouch, woman! Watch where you put that needle!”
“Oh, I’m not worried about you fooling around with the new goddesses,” said Hera, calmly sewing her way down the shoulder seam. “Celestia told me that her essence is actually made up of the sun, in a metaphorical way, of course. Solar essence made flesh, inside and out, as long as she maintains her control.”
“Oh,” said Zeus in a very small voice.
“And her sister is much like the same with the moon. Made out of the cold, airless wastes of space and able to freeze even the hottest fire into ice at the slightest touch.” Hera sighed as she sewed. “It seems a shame, but it is their lot in life, and as such, they bear it well. Celestia told me that the one thing she missed the most from her previous life is tea, can you imagine that?”
“Tea?” Zeus frowned. “Isn’t that some heathen beverage?”
I so want to read this Mount Olympus story...
Note: Seether00 wants to add Yule In a Donut Shop
Bradel's Three Nights is amazing and very seasonal.
As long as I'm here, a shameless self-plug: Hearth Swarming Eve is a Christmas fic like Die Hard is a Christmas movie, but it might be worth adding for something very different in tone.
3598257 True to both of those, plus Titanium Dragon's Mistletrapped, of course, and the immortal Skywriter and his opus to a displaced empire, In The Bleak Midwinter where Princess Cadence attempts to tell the survivors of King Sombra about the joy and beauty of Hearth's Warming. It goes about as well as expected.
"Short days are long nights," said Rose. "And the cold is the king of the wastes without, ever hungry, ever greedy to claim our tiny island of warmth and light. We do not celebrate in the dark and cold. We huddle together, crying out to the howling void and praying that it will avert its jaws from us for one more day." Rose took a little sip from her mug.
adding Season's Bleatings to the list
http://www.fimfiction.net/story/235675/seasons-bleatings
and Generous Gifts.
http://www.fimfiction.net/story/295970/generous-gifts
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Yay, I'm glad you enjoyed it! I'm also glad something good came of my getting that story out the door before Christmas. It hasn't been an easy month
Making sure to get A Canterlot Carol
http://www.fimfiction.net/story/72777/a-canterlot-carol
Adding Something Stuck Up In the Chimney
http://www.fimfiction.net/story/306543/something-stuck-up-in-the-chimney
Non-traditional stories:
https://www.fimfiction.net/story/236683/bonds-of-glory-a-hearths-warming-story
https://www.fimfiction.net/story/69408/a-hearths-warming-wassailing