Persona Qsday #9 (Contains Persona Q Spoilers!) · 11:33am Nov 24th, 2015
We're back with week nine of my Persona Q coverage!
Remember, only plot spoilers from P3/P4 will be tagged! Character names from both games and plot details specific to Persona Q will NOT be tagged. Proceed at your own risk.
When last we left off, our heroes had finally reached the floor of Group Date Cafe, and yours truly was ready to violently murder Teddie.
Let's plunge back in!
GROUP DATE CAFE
Stop 4
Before heading into this floor, I took a moment to snag the two DLC Personas Thanatos and Magatsu Izanagi. Which I won't need until much later, but it's nice to have them. I also equipped Orpheus Telos on Minato.
First thing I ran into on Floor 4 was a pair of Treasure Hands. And guess what? Now they cast Megido. What the FUCK.
The arrow-shooting FOEs are back. Both kinds. I managed to derp right into the one that sucks you in, and decided to fight it instead of noping out. I beat it, and taking its droppings back to Theodore netted me poisoned weapons for EVERYONE! Given how devastating Poison is in this game, these are pretty much going to be my weapons for a LOOOOOOONG time.
I haven't really touched on this much, but Rei has a habit of panicking during conversations and massively misparsing lengthy bits of dialogue as horrendously silly food-related nonsense. Well, during the first cutscene on Stop 4, where Mitsuru is griping about the Group Date Cafe, and Teddie goes off on one of his usual nonsensical, annoying rants...
Teddie: Men and women herded together hunt each others' hearts in an ordeal of love...that is a true group date!
Rei: Men and women herded together gulp each others' tarts in a roast turkey a la carte!?!?
I...I can't even. Jesus CHRIST, Rei. 
Then there's Mitsuru suddenly getting incredibly riled up and determined to do a group date. Wat.
...WAT.
The entire group is doing a group date right in the middle of the fucking labyrinth.
WAT.
Rei's answer to the question "What's your type?":
Rei: I like tongue and ribs if it's beef, loin if it's pork, and wings if it's chicken!
Yosuke: What kind of Chie-nese is that? Those are just types of meat!
Things kind of break down hilariously from there...yeah...
In order to get 100% plus all treasure chests on this floor, there's an FOE that it doesn't appear possible to avoid fighting. I've killed every FOE type in this labyrinth to date, so that's not an especially serious problem. What does piss me off is that the item in the treasure chest it's guarding isn't really worth it.
At a dead end, the girls wander off for some girl talk, and the guys get together to bandy about ideas for a team name. They leave it to Yu, so you have to pick from three dialogue trees to make a Word Salad team name.
I went with "Super Persona Rangers".
At the end of this floor, the party finally reaches the final "Selection Room of Destiny".
Unsurprisingly, due to the massive level of railroading involved in the questions and answers, the "destined partner" I ended up with is Naoto. As soon as it's announced, the floor drops out from under you, and you end up in...
GROUP DATE CAFE
The Big Day
A bright, pastoral June wedding scene! It's just Yu and Naoto, apparently. Holding hands, to Naoto's embarrassment. Naoto can't seem to stop blushing...
Poor Naoto has just completely lost her composure. 
In the middle of the aisle is a "commemorative wedding photo" of Yu and Naoto in wedding clothes, with Yu carrying a blushing Naoto in a bridal carry.
At the end of the aisle is the door to the church, and the mechanical voice goes on about a wedding, and the bride and groom entering of their own free will and swearing eternal love to each other.
At this point, all logic and reason has fled Naoto and she has just lost it. She's freaking out like crazy.
We open the door and...
There's a preacher Shadow inside the church!
The rest of the party shows up to object to this union. Boss battle time!
I love the voice actor for the Merciful Clergyman. He really hammed it up.
Merciful Clergyman is a Rules Boss. Every other turn, he imposes a rule against certain actions. His regular attacks aren't that much of an issue, and once you manage to poison him the battle doesn't really last very long.
Once the Merciful Clergyman is defeated, Zen opens the treasure chest and removes its contents. Rei immediately slaps the object out of his hand, and the bell of the clock tower tolls. Rei apologizes to Zen, and Zen picks it up.
It's a cheap toy ring, the kind you can get at fairs or out of gashapon machines.
Back in the Velvet Room, another lock breaks and falls off the big doors. Wow, it's been so long since the last one that I'd almost forgotten about the overall plot... 
Rise informs everyone that the next labyrinth appears to be the "Evil Spirit Club", located in the Class 2-4 homeroom. Except...there is no Class 2-4 at Yasogami High.
Spooky.
BIZARRE BATTLE QUOTE TIME!
(When facing a Gorgeous King)
Yukiko: "Isn't this too dangerous for you, Your Majesty?"(When suffering from Panic)
Naoto: "The culprit is you...and you...and you...and you!"
NEXT TIME: A new labyrinth awaits!
Ah, Sheik Syndrome: When a character's femininity is revealed, the game denies her any dignity for the rest of the plot.
Huh... Now I see why some people call this "Fanfiction made into videogame:"
Random conversations that don't move the plot forwards despite the short time frame. That are only there to show how would the interaction between the characters be. And some of these moments can push some characters to borderline-OOCness.
However, this game does a better job at servicing the fans than P4D, in my opinion.
You followed the railroading and didn't get paired with Aigis?
At least you didn't end up with teddie.....
3567344 Apparently it's how you answer the first two questions that determines who you end up with. Also, I'm not 100% sure every session spawns the same set of questions. In my case, the questions seemed pretty Naoto-inducive from the word go...
3567522 That was what I got. One of the initial questions was if you would be open to a non-girl relationship (or something along those lines). I answered yes, and I think that locked out all the female characters. It was all downhill from there. I remember a question about either maids or nurses, and another about toppings on something (protein was one of the answers). Anyways, yeah, I ended up with Teddie. I reloaded my file and changed my answer to the last question and got Koro instead.
EDIT: Yeah, the first two questions narrow it down to five canidates. The first question was,
I answered that it doesn't matter, because that's how I feel overall. Doesn't change the fact that I'm usually attracted to women. A very feminine guy... maybe. Either way, I'm pretty sure it disqualified all the girls.
Oh my gosh I just did it again and got Naoto; did you pick her up like in the photo? I did OMG so cute! I so totally ship these two!
3565563
I don't think Naoto freaking out like that is OOC — just a side we wouldn't normally see of her.
I really want to marry her now though XDD
3618601
That's why the "borderline" there