On My Absence · 12:46am Nov 17th, 2015
You've probably noticed that I haven't been on these past few days. And even before that, you probably noticed that I wasn't answering PMs or comments like I usually do. All of this, as I'm sure you know, is highly unusual for me, and I would like to apologize and explain the reasons for my absence. Before I go any further, I would also like to apologize in advance if this starts to sound like an "Oh, woe is me!" type blog. That is not my intent at all. Rather, I feel that I owe all of you this explanation.
I've said before in recent blogs that I've been feeling tired and burnt out as of late. And while this was true, I was able to find some sort of pick-me-up, some way to keep going despite it all. Until last Thursday rolled around. I'd checked in quickly during a work break, saw that I'd received some comments and PMs, and signed out fully intending to answer them all that night. Yet, as you can see, that did not happen. Upon arriving home that night, I'd realized how exhausted I was and decided to take a bit of a mental health break and recharge. Little did I know that one night away would turn into two, then three, then four. And not just from FIMFiction, but from Skype and Steam as well.
Simply put, I did not realize just how truly burnt out I was, and how desperately I needed some time to myself so that I could recharge. After many long days and nights at work, not getting nearly enough sleep (which I fully admit is my own doing, as The Daring Cookie can attest), and just with the state of things with some of my friends, some events that have happened in and around my home town, and the state of affairs in the world... It all started to weigh on me pretty heavily. And for an optimist like me, that is damn hard to admit. Hell, I've even started to question whether I should change my icon back to the one I had before because my current one might cause upset after the events in Paris, or if I should keep it to show my support and solidarity with the people affected.
Now, that said, does this mean that I want to stop talking with all of you? That I want to quit reading your works, conversing with you, or that I want to leave the site? Hell no! That couldn't be further from the truth! Joining FIMFiction is one of the best decisions I have ever made, and I love all of the people I have met and the friends I've made since I joined a little over nine months ago. I really do cherish you and the time we have spent together, and I look forward to where these friendships and adventures will lead. All it means is that I needed some time to take care of myself before I could talk with and look after you once more. And I apologize if I caused anyone worry or offended anyone in my absence, and I hope that you can forgive me for it.
Despite all this, there is also some good news. While I don't feel like I'm at 100% again just yet, I definitely feel like I'm getting there. An overnight and day trip with one of my best friends in real life over the weekend helped with that, as did taking all of Sunday to just lounge in bed and recuperate. I'm also about ready to start working on my story again, and I hope you can all take comfort in it in the wake of the tragedies that have struck recently. Moreover, if you sent me a comment that went ignored, feel free to leave another or send me a PM telling me where to look. I promise to answer them all this time.
Lastly, thank you, Adam, for posting this recently. It was something I needed to see and be reminded of when I didn't even know it. I hope that it also brings you all some comfort as it did for me:
"Sam: It's like in the great stories, Mr. Frodo, the ones that really mattered. Full of darkness and danger they were, and sometimes you didn't want to know the end because how could the end be happy? How could the world go back to the way it was when so much bad had happened? But in the end it's only a passing thing this shadow, even darkness must pass. A new day will come, and when the sun shines it'll shine out the clearer. Those were the stories that stayed with you, that meant something even if you were too small to understand why. But I think, Mr. Frodo, I do understand, I know now folk in those stories had lots of chances of turning back, only they didn't. They kept going because they were holding on to something.
Frodo: What are we holding onto, Sam?
Sam: That there's some good in the world, Mr. Frodo, and it's worth fighting for."
Love and peace to you all.
It's been a rough week. Lately I've been falling into a similar situation, feeling very tired, especially after Friday. Nevertheless, it really is good to hear back from you. Hopefully we'll all be able to get past this sudden coldness in the world.
We ask need to have time to ourselves at some point. The wise man is the I've who realizes the necessity, not the abuse, of such a situation. Here's to hoping you'll be up on your feet in the future!
-Jarvy Jared
Glad to see you're back. And I don't think that people would see your icon as insensitive. I'm pretty sure that people will understand you're not trying to rub salt in a wound. But do as you wish, I mean, I've changed mine.
Anyway, good to see you back in action.
I'm sorry...it's my fault somehow. I know it is.
I'm glad you're back.
I don't see how a Phantom of the Opera pony is possibly offensive, but it's your call.
I get what you mean. Sometimes you just need a break from the internet or life in general. I am kind of taking a break from social media as well at the moment, save for this site. If you ever need someone to talk to, feel free to message me. Keep on being you. You are an amazing person. I am honored to call you my friend. :)
3546604
Thank you so much both for understanding and for your kind words. It really helps, more than words alone can say.
3546607
Thank you, Kestrel. I really appreciate everything you've said. And perhaps I'll change my status or somesuch thing to show my solidarity.
3546609
*hugs* It's not your fault AT ALL, Catty. I just wasn't taking good enough care of myself. But I'm back now, and feeling better.
3546617
Thank you, Cynic! I was just worried it might be offensive since Phantom takes place in Paris. But I think I'll just change my status to show that I stand with the people of Paris.
Friend, no need to apologize, I too have had to step away due to burnout, and I will probably do so again at some point, I would rather see you step away rather than leave us all together, feel free to step away whenever you need and I will do the same whenever I need.
You friends, will always be here waiting.
3546622
*smiles wide and hugs (if hugs are okay)* Thank you, Lyra, both for being my friend, for offering a listening ear, and for understanding. It is definitely good to be back! Also, I did see your PM. Thanks a ton for making me an admin of your paranormal group! Can't wait to check that out!
3546631
Thank you so much for your kind words, and for understanding. It's always a pleasure seeing you around, and your words truly are a balm for the soul.
3546628 J love you so much friend... Please dknt ever forget, I love you like a big sibling.
3546649
And I love you too, my friend, just like a little brother. I won't ever leave you. I promise. *hugs tight* I truly did not mean to be away for so long.
3546632 Feel free to post and promote whatever you like there. :)
Welcome back bestie
3546659
I certainly shall! Thank you!
3546663
Thank you, bestie! It sure is good to be back!
3546669
for being back.
May the best of luck be with you my friend.
3546653 Don't blame yourself. Somehow, I'll find a way to blame myself. You did nothing wrong.
3546667 You are quite welcome.
3546670
Indeed!
3546675
Thank you, my friend, and the best of luck to you as well. How are you feeling now?
3546676
*hugs* Thank you. And you have no need to blame yourself. At all.
3546679
3546686 Dude.
This is what I'm known for. Finding ways to blame myself..
3546693
And that's why I'll always be there to remind you that you don't have to. *hugs*
3546683 Very well as a matter of fact. I just got the stiches pulled out this morning and man, let m tell you it is so good to be able to get a shower without those things bugging you.
Cheers! And thanks for caring!
3546703
Glad to hear that you've gotten them out! So you're all healed up then?
And you're very welcome! Cheers to you!
Oh man I'm relieved! I ALWAYS end up assuming the worst in these situations! I'm so so glad everything's OK, and that you're feeling better!
3546700
I will pin this on myself.
3546707
Sorry to make you worry, my friend, and thank you for your kind words as well as your understanding!
3546709
And I will convince you that it is not your fault.
Also: that quote. God. Just...
3546731
Haaaaai!
And yeah, I didn't even know that I needed to see it, but I did. It really, really helped.
3546747
And thank you, Emylia, for understanding and for your kind words. After all, you were one of the people I was worried about offending. You, Reneigh, Icy/Scythea, and so many others. But just reading your kind words had me tearing up as well, as did that choice quote when I first read it. It seemed like we could all be reminded of it with everything that's happened.
3546809
*smiles wide and hugs* Thank you, my friend. I was just about to answer your last PM as well, and explain why I was gone for so long. But I thank you so much for understanding, and for helping me to stay on track. As for if I have rested enough, I feel that I have for now, but I'll do my best to get enough sleep this week as well.
Thank you also for your kind words, and for your warm welcome back! I'm glad to know that my blogs are so touching to you, even if it's just in some small way.
Sounds as though you've had a hard time.
I hope all is well now
3546825
It is, or at least it's getting there. Thank you for your concern.
Hey, you.
*HONK*
3546840
*laughs* Hi! Good to hear from you! Sorry I never answered your PM.
3546842 I don't even remember what I said.
3546850
Neither do I. I'll go back and read!
3546834
You have all of our support. Your important to us all
3546876
Thank you so much, my friend. Of course, the same goes for you!
>>Pretty much, the wound is still a little sore and I gotta wait for a bit until I get back to work but yeah, life is going good for me right now. But its a shame I cant say that for others...
3546907
Believe me, I know what you mean. But at least we can all stand tall and strong, and speak out against the evils of the world.
3546855 PM chats?!
3546934
Yes, shocking, isn't it?