On parenting roles and Fallout 4 reactions. · 2:53pm Nov 12th, 2015
Very minor Fallout spoilers for the first approximate five minutes of the game. I don't think it's anything the trailers haven't shown, but just in case you care, you're better skipping this one. otherwise read on!
So the stereotype is the mother cares for the infants. And it's quite true this has changed a lot since the beginning of such things in humans. Men are much more likely (If not just as likely, I don't know the statistics) to be the stay at home/primary caregiver especially with the new generation (I'm in my late 20s) having grown up with fathers being more active than in the past with raising the kids and society showing this to be a common occurrence.
That said, I found it striking to watch two separate youtubers comment on the robot caring for the infant in the beginning of Fallout 4.
Two separate youtubers, of varying ages and genders both made remarks along the lines of questioning the role of the mother when the robot mentions they changed and fed the baby.
The lass(27) playing the female role questioned what she did with herself, and the lad(35) playing the male role questioned what the mother did. Both were joking and made that clear in tone and voice, but I still found it interesting since I think there is still a grain of truth to it.
I think a lot of us still do sort of default to the idea that the woman cares for the kids while the father goes out and works. Which is striking to me as I didn't realize I'd think that way. I was actually raised fairly equally by my parents, as well as extended family so I tend to think of my nuclear family as larger than just mom dad and sibs, but despite being raised by both genders, I still fall to the female caregiver opinion.
What do you guys find? Do you tend to default to that thought or do you deliberately fight it?
I find the things we don't tend to think about fascinating since they reveal so much about how we're raised and shaped by our interactions and experiences (Yes, I know that idea is not news to most folks, but I feel it's worth stating anyways), and oftentimes can even startle myself when I'm made aware of things I don't think about but just assume.
I'm a bit tempted to do a post about my own inherent racism for that reason, but may hold off as it's a bit of an inflammatory topic. Not to mention considered poor to acknowledge one has racist thoughts, regardless of whether you try to combat them or not.
I'm... actually not sure. I have seen a Let's Play of that opening scene, but I don't recall giving it much thought. (It was TFS Plays, so there wasn't exactly a lot of room to consider gender roles after they deliberately put every blemish and scar they could on the female potentially playable character.) I suppose my only thought on the matter was wondering what the wife did with her day in a more general sense. The pre-war Fallout aesthetic has always been the future as seen by the Fifties, but with a robot doing all of the housework, how exactly does a housewife of the future confined by mid-20th century gender norms fill her time?
I suppose it's a bit of fridge logic, one that the game doesn't give a lot of opportunity to consider before the bombs drop.
I don't necessarily think it's sexist (and I feel like I'm going to come under fire for this) but while both parents have their relative roles in taking care of their children, the female will always have this sort of ingrained mentality of being the caregiver perceived by everyone in the family.
I feel that this is due to the genetic fact that mothers are the natural (and I do mean natural, by NATURE,) caregivers. They squirt the babbies out and produce milk -- which, to those unable to purchase figgy pudding pops or formula at the supermarket, is the babby's only source of nourishment until they're about 17 when breastfeeding becomes a little weird (at least in public).
When we see it occur in nature, we always call the caregiver the mother despite not knowing their gender, and this is because also, genetically, the female of the species is predisposed and wired to be the caretaker with few exceptions (octopussies, penguinnues and others) while the male goes out and drinks beer at the local animal tavern.
I believe it is merely intelligence which allows us to challenge this and change these concepts, but whether we are going against NATURE is a different question altogether; I merely believe that humans do, at their core, assume that the mother is the primary caregiver because it's wired into our code. I wouldn't necessarily call it stereotypical as much as just 'the norm that CAN be broken out of if chosen'.
A good example of the biological link: studies have shown that mothers start to lactate when hearing the sound of their babies crying.
However, I will state that the whole deal about 'daddy going out and working' is a separate issue. I, as an adult man, would much rather the girls do all the working for me while I stay at home and eat Cheetos.
I love equality.
3537689
On The Jetsons, Jane had to push all the buttons and rescue George when he screwed things up.
That does bring up the interesting idea of retro-future housewives having to have some amount of mechanical/programming knowledge, to basically manage a team of robots and computers. Instead of knowing how to bake a pie, they have to know how to program and fix the pie making device.
With regards to the main question, I tend to agree with 3537758. In addition to pushing out the babies and nursing, there are hormones released during childbirth that form basically an insta-bond between mothers and their babies (assuming everything is working correctly.) While obviously we do all sorts of things mother nature never intended, and ignore/improve on lots of stuff that nature intended, and the biological variation among people means there's no right way to be or act with regards to gender, the basic bio-programming seems to be aimed at infants belonging with their mothers.
It seems to be the hunter-gatherer default in humans. But we're not (most of us) hunter-gatherers anymore. We have supermarkets and women's sufferage. Both make life enormously better for our species, but both require new sets of behaviors and confront us with new choices.
This can be stressful for men, because just when you learn where everything is, they move the canned tamales ("WHAT, DO YOU WANT US GUYS TO STARVE?")
Conveniently, I've spent the last two days hanging with a guy who has been playing through the game. I didn't even think about itwhat the wife character does. That whole thing regarding the stereotypical gender roles didn't cross my mind until this blog pointed it out to me. But now that I think about it, yeah, I kinda wonder what she does, considering the whole 50s mentality stasis thing. I assume she has hobbies, though. And hey, my friend just reminded me that she said she had a law degree and was going to start working again, so I guess she does that.
What I did question at the time, though, is how that robot changes diapers with only a buzzsaw, a flamethrower, and a little pinchy claw. No wonder the kid started crying.
More generally, I don't really think about the gender roles and parenting stuff. I've gotten to the point where I'm just like, "Who should be staying home and taking care of the kid? Whichever parent has the most time for that and is best suited, though both should be raising the kid, if possible (in a typical nuclear family)."
I think deferring to the default is actually the correct thing to do, for all the reasons Kitsune and bookplayer mentioned. Can we adopt and shift as an intelligent, thinking species? Sure. Are there situations where the default just doesn't work out? Absolutely. Should we encourage women to not just default to being the caregiver and instead make their own choice? Definitely. But defaulting there is just fine, too.
I'm actually inclined to think that actively fighting against the idea of that default does more harm than good. I think in this constant push to promote gender equality, people forget that there are very real differences between the genders. And if those differences are recognized, they're seen as bad and as something that must be stamped out. I think those differences are actually pretty sweet. They help contribute to individuality and really help make each person more unique. And I think the tendency towards caring for children is one of those sweet differences and is something that should be celebrated, not fought against.
Meanwhile, of all the couples my age with kids present or on-the-way, they're all planning to remain dual-income and hire a nanny. Now sure, there's still the matter of "who's the primary caretaker when we're both off work and the nanny is away", but my friends all seem keen to continue their careers (and, again, two incomes).
Same reason I've never considered a blog post on the subject, even if I try to keep it to just MLP.
I try to reverse gender roles and expectations in MLP, but there are still some biological things that can't really be changed, which leaves the mares as the default caregivers, especially in a traditionally earth pony town.