So, I've got another story going. It's Scotch Tape in Zebralands. Here's a rough draft. I'm thinking of using the little bit in the epilogue as a prologue for this story, with a little tweaking. I'd like some feedback before we go through full edits. I really want the first chapter nailed down and solid.
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Yes, this is precisely what I wanted to see when I read that prologue!!!
I'm interested in seeing where this leads. I'd love to see a Fallout: Equestria side story with more seafaring and stuff. Plus, the Zebra homelands are fairly untapped in terms of official canon. I'll have to keep an eye on this one.
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Suggestions on improvements?
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Maybe a short prologue? I'll admit, I've read a lot of fics between PH and now. It'd be nice to get a refresher on things, and it would be easier to introduce new readers who might not have wanted to read PH for its length.
EDIT: I just reread your blog post. I'm going to assume that the prologue is in the works and that I need sleep... or coffee... Mmm coffee.
3476208 This is the prologue. I'd have to change some things. Maybe move the thrush scene in chapter 1 to the prologue and eliminate the flashback? It'd need some massaging of course.
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I think the Thrush scene needs more, though I'll need to reread the scene a few more times before I can put my finger on what more is exactly. Maybe working out payment? Thrush never stuck me as the type to do something pro bono.
Side note: I want more of best drunkard Thrush.
3476208 You just made me realise what I have been missing since morning... COFFEE!!
Seems pretty ok to me so far. Also, was this your plan all along? Is this why Scotch Tape, Majina and Pythia were not mentioned in the Epilogue ?
And damn, that backwards talk is weird. >.>
Also, thank you for continuing with this universe. Cannot explain how much am I looking forward to this.
Sounds like a good idea! I've always wanted to learn more about the Zebra mainland.
3476201 I got to the first break and fell asleep, not because of your story but because it was 0200 hrs, I'll read the rest soon. Though I must say, for no edits it is still receiving a 10/10. Curious, you seem to be doing a third person POV instead of a first person POV like in Fo:E PH?
Soooooooo bored! I have become the Ennui... That sound exactly how I feel right now.
*hugs Somber*
You have saved me Somber. Actually I was hoping you weren't just teasing us with the epilogue about Scotch and gang going to the Zebra lands.
But what about broken accords?
As if PH wasn't long enough, now it's getting a spinoff.
As if Kkat milking the original with a spinoff wasn't disappointing enough.
Though, to be fair, you have other stories here as well. So there's that.
So I just got the time to finish, you hooked me (pun intended), and I want to see more! A few typos, the Thrush scene I feel should be smoothed over a bit more, as it confused me at first. Again the POV still caught me off guard, but hey it is legitimate.
I for one applaud our new Crack Story Overlord.
I found an error:
A "Scale From 1 to 10" is innumerate. It should be a scale of 00 to 10, or better yet, 0 to 9 for prevent errors such as 10 loosing 0 and becoming 1 or 1 gaining a digit and becoming 10 by limiting all answers to single digits.
On a sidenote, ¿why would ponies use decimal? ¿Why not balanced ternary or sexagesimal?
Equines are not susceptible to scurvy.
Definitely looking forward to it, especially since its set up to have a good level of lightheartedness.
I hate you. Not like I hated background pony's ending but I hate that I now have one more thing to read on an every growing list of things to read. Im about a third of my way through my second read through of ph so I may wait a while to read this but curse you somber and your ability to write narrative in a fashion I enjoy.
Meaning of my life was found again!
The addition of more outside threat to both the Abalone and the main characters was nice, and building up to it with Scotch seeing the signaling added some tension/mystery where there wasn't as much in that stretch before, especially since the dropping wasn't going to be too harmful as a matter of structure. But now I have to wonder if the drop move was done independently of that, or if it was motivated by it, with him wanting to eliminate/silence Scotch as a witness. If so, was it just the best they could manage, did someone else not go along with letting her fall to her death and just hurt/scare her instead? Something else? Could all just be a coincidence. If so, the traitor got real lucky.
The stuff added to the ending really seems to have it going in a different direction than was indicated by the old end of the chapter, and if that was always the plan, the change will probably help prevent some whiplash from the transition from what looked like it would be drama to something much more action-oriented.
I just got to read it (Work and I in rather bad mental state at the moment.) And it looks really promising. Different way, new characters and entirely different part of the world. And I really love the way you are depicting zebras and their Traditions. Despite some mistakes (well... it is a draft) it is written really good and I would love to see more of it.
dig it
hope you choose to continue
Is this being scrapped now? I'm no longer allowed access
I hope it's not, I wasn't able to finish even the one chapter yet but I like PH a lot and would love a sequel, and enjoyed what I had managed to read of it so far
3504283 No. No. Hinds just wanted it closed because... I dunno. He's just complicated that way.