And Back On The Hump I Go (And New Story Sneak Peek) · 3:28pm Oct 7th, 2015
Except not really.
There's a lot of material that I write that never gets posted, and if they are incomplete, they are likely not to get updated. That's just how it is. I have many names for the illnesses writers suffer; First Sentence Syndrome, Try-Hardities and the incurable and most deadly if not treated on a regular basis, Writer's Vertigo. Writer's Vertigo makes it so that any sort of concept that would have been fine to play with a month or a week ago causes mental pain and confusion if you try to take it up again.
I keep on telling myself that I'll write it, I'll write it but the page remains blank and the days pass.
So, I'm going to talk about what I've been struggling to post writing-wise and get it out of my system. Either I'll work and post it or let it die in my desktop folders. It doesn't matter which to me. As long as I fend off the vertigo to get some writing room.
...
*deep breath*
I say right around when I posted Release, I was writing a little something to glorify the greatest of fetishes: food porn. And when I say food porn, I do not mean screwing your significant other on top of something edible. That comes after, heh heh. But the focus should be on the food. Preparing, serving and eating should be the highlight of the story. It should get mouths salivating, bodies twisting in their seat as something so ordinary as eating becoming an erotic experience of tasting, sucking and then swallowing.
Oh yes, the swallowing.
Ahem. So I came up with the idea when I was talking with Bendy and I was like, 'It's been a while since I wrote a Celestia X Human short'. I decided to start roaming derpibooru for cover-art as I tried to make the line and hook of the story. So you know, I could write it in one shot with only two rough drafts. I thought about using my established male human characters (Mark and Lewis) so I wouldn't have to go to the trouble of making another human and establishing their personality.
But the idea changed when I had this thought, looking at Cakelestia pics and wondering why did all the cake have to look the same? Chocolate with pink icing. Vanilla with white icing. All double layered and if they weren't, they looked like cupcakes.
I hate cupcakes.
They're like tiny, unfinished cakes and can't compare to the goodness that is a muffin.
Would I want to write a story about Celestia eating muffins? Of course not. Muffins should only be eaten in the morning, brunch, social lunches, in 'undiscovered' breakfast nooks where the tables bump together and everyone ignores the ants in the walls. And if she starts with a muffin, she shouldn't finish with only that. Celestia has tasted many pastries and delicacies over the years and outside of the need to feed her appetite, I imagine that she would have much to say about this muffin. Then about everything else the dinner had to serve, with a sort of sweet and kind 'TAKE MY ADVICE OR SUFFER FOR HAVING OVERCOOKED DOUGH' way. But out of all of them, kept on giving advice (harassing) a certain prep cook.
Why is this becoming complicated, I haven't even put down one letter yet.
So I refined that base idea and flipped it over to the human's perspective which adds a whole layer because of how I was thinking of finalizing the scenario as you have it. Something that I could whittle down to about two sentences like an elevator pitch. I was thinking how to solidify my rambling thoughts and a sort of justification as to the end goal of the story (which should be obvious).
I thought about writing it in second-person. Here's something below.
It would be one thing to have a customer sending these well-written notes and letters on how much your cooking sucks because she could tell that you had a bad night last night and used too much misplaced anger while prepping for the morning rush. Here's a magic mirror if you need to talk. The fuck? It's another when a magical pony princess is the one back-talking from her table. The illusion that keeps her looking human for everyone else somehow failing under your eyes.
And that wasn't the part you hated most about her showing up every so often and haunting the little storefront.
It was always around evening time when she popped in and stayed until the place was closed down. You're working the ovens, cursing out Fredrico and Estaban as they both bounce and you're stuck to midnight. She, the Princesa, always comes around this time but you can never work up the nerve to kick her out. You got shit to do. You got important shit to do. But you pause in what you're doing, carving out some chocolate dust for a cake that needed to be refrigerated, as you hear her moan strut into your ears like it belonged there. And it did, seeing how you jerked your hips into the counter, hands clenching air as that moan went straight into your pants and that expensive chocolate block cracked on the floor.
That was coming out of your paycheck but tonight, the heat of the long night getting to your head and her, always her, you give a little moan yourself as you give up and head to the bathroom. Her moans continue, a parade of Ah's and Mmmh's caressing your ears and stroking the need to walk faster before you start limping. Around the corner, there's the bathroom and there she is, the Princesa sitting in the small dinning booth. Your eyes meet. Your hand wanders to the front of the apron and tugs it down... It doesn't matter. She levitates a fork, attention returning to her dessert. You watch, her tongue grazing the silver utensil you wiped early that morning, licking it clean of the sticky lemon cream you help make. The way her tongue moves, the bathroom seems too far away and you too hot.
You linger longer than you should've. She notices. You notice. You turn away, stiffly walking back to the kitchens. Her moans follow as if asking you to stay.
I don't know if I'll stick with second-person format but that's what I've been messing with so far. And there's Mounting Tension but I have to wait until I'm in a mood to write Tension. And that sneak peak will probably be heavily rewritten if I do post it IDK.
Currently, I'm working with two titles that may or may not change the feel and tone of the story. Which one do you guys think is better?
She Moaned Sexily or A Devilin' Deity?
I like both.
But I want to know. Are you guys cool with me posting NSFW stuff on here? I can imply all of the hot action as much as I can dish it out.
I so love to inspire people. Quite an amazing feeling when someone is inspired from your writing. Looking forward to what you come up with.
I'm not one to really talk, but first person is generally better than second person. It really depends though, a second person story can be written very well, but it seems to be a lot harder.
Moaned, groaned, purred. Those sound like something a someone say during passion. I'm sure what you mean by 'Devilin' Deity'.
I personally am fine with it. Though as far as I remember you can't post graphic details in blog posts anymore. There was once a time you could make NSFW blogs.
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You're right but I guess I'm just in the mood for it. I tried working in first person but the story seemed to stall as I was trying to cram a lot exposition. Forcing my way through the story and I just needed to take a step back before I did something stupid.
She Moaned Sexily is a gagfic title (like Popping Her Cherry, Assuming The Position) and a sort of in-your-face way of saying the reason, the main reason 'you' are into Princess Celestia is because of the sounds she makes when she eats. And I would write the story in a more gooier, gushy way. I guess.
A Devilin' Deity implies (I hope) that the story focus more on the implication of Princess Celestia visiting a human world in order to eat sweets and whatnot. And that 'you' (mostly) don't like her because wouldn't it be nice if she took her business else where and stopped moaning you into the poor house with all the things you break on your shift cause of her.
I meant posting NSFW stories and seeing how the rest of the folk who follow me have nothing to say, I guess I'm free to do what I wish. Nobody can get mad at me. I asked twice. Yeah.
Anyhow, what's up? Anything you got cooking?
So, will this story will have some comedy elements?
I'm rather blank at the moment. I was thinking about a simple story where Anon just gives Celestia a public belly rub... and other things. If you know what I mean. (Haven't written anything down, so no promises for that) Who knows?
Maybe if I get drunk this weekend my hangover will give me a magical idea for a story and words will flow.
I got another idea where human Anon defeats the evil TCB Celestia from The Conversion Bureau with the power of his handsomeness. But then I scrapped the idea, because I don't want to write any more TCB. I've vented my hate for it enough I think. Other than the TCB story I help edit redskin122004's: The Conversion Bureau: The Other Side of the Spectrum.
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I honestly can't tell when I'm being funny or not. I just try to recreate what makes me laugh but unfortunately, I have a bad sense of humor.
Sounds cool. Good luck writing.