I am Deeply Bothered (Lazarus Related) · 1:16am Oct 7th, 2015
After opening my eyes to new realms of knowledge and actually paying the fuck attention to things, I decided to go back and reread Lazarus.
I am bothered.
Now I'm not saying the story is bad now that I decided to go back to older chapters and re-read them. Its just that there are many things that are unneeded or just downright stupid.
One instance being the whole overseer aspect in the beginning of the story. In the story I wrote that the ship was out in space for at least twelve thousand years, every have five years two humans would wake up and tend to the interior of the ship. Nothing wrong with that right? Look again I wrote that the characters would be awake for five years.
*facepalms*
I'm a fucking idiot.
If you do the math these people would age biologically at least 200 years. They'd all be dead before they reached Earth.
Another issue would be the ship Horizon herself. I never once described what she looked like, yes there's an image on the cover of the story but I never actually said in the story. For all we know she could be in the shape of a penis (chuckles immaturely).
Now here's the biggest issue.
The crew itself.
Okay main characters: Jonathon Conway, Commander William Keshiner, Dr. Hassel, and Admiral Watson.
Those guys are alright in my book, save for a few contrived scenes. Other than that the rest of the supporting characters are pretty bland and down right stupid, Lt. Shawn Bell for example. He was the soldier in the chapter that pissed himself because some birds flew out and he fired his gun for no fucking reason.
After writing that chapter and reading your guys feedback I immediately regretted writing it and almost tore it down. However, I didn't.
These are just a few of the major problems I'm having with my own story now. They're so major that this is the reason why I haven't been writing Lazarus that much anymore and instead moved onto my new fic that fired off "The Last of My Kind".
Now don't worry, I'm not planning on cancelling the story. But something inside me is telling me to start making renovations again, not rewriting it, just lots and lots of renovations.
Need an editor?
3448464 Sure if you don't mind going back to chapter one and up for me.
I'm going back and trying to make some of the science/reasoning for certain things more believable.
Have Google Docs? If so shoot me a pm I'll give you gmail address.
It just shows that you are growing as a writer. Don't feel too bad. It happens to the best of us. Heck, I had to do that multiple times.
Incoming ret-conns!
That is a sign of a good writer. It is clear that you use an immense amount of effort in your stories. Going back and finding things you dislike in your story is a natural part of being a writer.
3448618 Hopefully the changes won't effect the current plot. I only plan on changing a few outcomes such as reactions and decisions. Along with a few technologies and other science related stuff.
For instance instead of putting up tents outside they'll be using NASA engineered blowup habitation modules, or HABs for short.
If their ship was traveling fast enough then general relativity will account for timy whimy stuff. (I.e relativity.)
3448750 That's if they were nearing the speed of light yes. However I'm changing it so that they're going to hang around Mars for a bit.
Interesting. The whole situation in chapter 5 was what made me drop this story. Maybe my laziness to unfollow all the stories I am tracking will pay off for once... I will wait untill renovation is complete though.
So al you are saying is you improved yourself over time and want to set some things right here? Nice.
All we have to do is re-read everything again to tear it apart or praise you right?
Wie er wünscht.
I just liked the concept and the contact.
3448703
Realism!
besides the 12k year mark you used, i am still confused why celestia even has any inclination to what humans are or are capable of.
STAHP! Guess what, it's highly doubtful I'll feel like rereading for a good long time. Save the edits for when you're done, or you will never get done! You already did this once, if I recall... I don't even know anymore... How long ago was this started?
PLEASE progress forward. Authors and artists are ALWAYS their own worst critics.
3452388 read the final sentence. I'm not rewriting it I'm rennovating certain parts of the story so that it'll make sense.