Zero Blogs: Dusk Shine · 11:38pm Oct 4th, 2015
Okay, I can take a hint.
One person says Chapter 1 needs work. That's speculation.
Two people say Chapter 1 needs work. Kinda pushing it.
THREE people say chapter 1 needs work. I think it's time for another revision.
In all honesty, I get why people say Dusk isn't as good as Shine's other chapters. The setting is rushed, the characters are poorly established, and it doesn't feel very connected to the rest of the story.
Unlike my other revisions, I knew where I needed to expand and what was missing. But since Dusk is where the story begins, it's harder for me to figure out just what it lacks/needs in the first place. Especially, since I already tried to edit it and failed. And I certainly don't want to go in uncertain, because that just might end up making it worse.
So now that my puzzler is thoroughly sore, I'm turning to you guys once again:
What does the first chapter of From a Shimmer to a Shine lack compared to the others, and changes do you think would make it work better?
This can be anything from a few hundred more words to a total rewrite focusing my efforts elsewhere.
But let me be clear, this is VERY IMPORTANT! The first chapter gives the readers an impression of the entire story. Just keep that in mind when making your suggestions. I look forward to hearing from you.
Zero out.
