Self Reflection · 9:41pm Aug 31st, 2015
How to start...well, I've been reflecting on how I've been for the last month- my relationships with others, work, and how I feel about my own self. You know that feeling when you realize you have to do something, undo something you've either said or done, and it scares you because you really really don't want to, but feel like it's the right thing to do?
Yeah. It's that bad.
My most recent story, A Herd of Misfits, is by far one of my favorite stories I've worked on...it's also a story I'm going to take down, soon.
Why? Well, let me tell you all what I discovered when I reconsidered my life of the last month. Judge me if you will, but that's your call.
I am not really happy. I sleep in late, go to work, stay up late writing, rinse and repeat. That's okay for a night or two, but that has literally been my life for the last month. It's been taking a toll on my family relationships, as all I talk about anymore is my ponies and stories and that's pushing them away. My sleep patterns are terrible, and the only thought that gets me through the day is looking forward to getting home and writing more, because I feel like a rock star when I do. A rock star that has only, maybe, fifteen people who actually read my works. I don't really have friends, and all I do most of the day is surf the internet, thinking of bigger and better things to do.
Look. I'm not leaving the fandom, nor do I have the desire to, however I need to take a few steps back. What started out as a fun hobby, writing stories about cute ponies, has now become my life, to the point that sometimes I just want to yell out "Celestia Rape you with her horn, you miserable son of a Diamond Dog!" at work when I'm pissed. (Okay, maybe that was exaggerating a bit, but you get the basic idea)
So why am I taking down A herd of Misfits, Without a Butterfly and Broken but Still standing?
I used to be really spiritual member of the Church of Jesus Christ of latter-day Saints. Used to being the key word. I left the church, but now, I feel in my heart that I want what I had. The stories in question all have, to varying degrees, both clop and strong language. Those things are frowned upon in the Church because (and I'm not bothering with "sex outside of marriage thing") even in writing, it's basically pornography. If the body is sacred, then we should treat our body, as well as the bodies of others with the same amount of respect. I feel that carries over into written works as well, as what we write often reflects what we think or feel.
This kills me, because this happens every time I start getting into something. I think (and this is my opinion) It might be that God is reminding me that I'm straying and I need to come back. Hey, in many ways I am a kid, and reminders like that are needed.
So, in short, (and judge me if you will, but at least in my heart I feel like I'm doing the right thing) I'm taking down stories I feel are inappropriate because of clop or language, but I'll leave them up till after Equestria LA. Too much is happening right now, and I'd like people to read this to understand why before I take them down.
As for a Herd of Misfits, I am open, if there is a demand for it, to censer out the sex in it, dropping down to a T rating because of the implied stuff, but I won't actually write clop or I might just make it more like a large family with really close ties. Some events of the story (like what happens to Dash) will be changed, but if there's support, I'll make it work. I feel like it's a great story with a lot of potential, but the sex kinda ruins it. However, if people are just reading it for the clop, then what's the point bothering?
I hope you all understand this. If you don't, that's okay. If I want to be happy, I have to clean up my life, and this is just one of many places I'm going to be working on scrubbing.
Thank you.
Gear Tech
3361404 Thank you. You know it's people like you I write for. I'll have to figure out how I'm going to do the censoring, and maybe rewrite some parts and go with a slightly different plot line, but I'd like to continue this one. It's just too fun to write.
I'm not going to lie. I like the story the way it is and where it is going. However, I understand your need to back out and re-evaluate your life and reconnect. I will be sorry to see this story go, but good luck.
3362351 If I found a way to keep it going, but take out all the sex, would you still be interested?
I really like this story not just for the clop I like it for the story the sex is just a bonus but I would continue to read it without the sex I think you should continue it