I know... I've been out for quite a while. (A YEAR, OMFG) · 7:29am Jul 31st, 2015
How's everyone doing? This thing is probably dead. Lol.
Ehh.. ok, for those of you who're still out there and are actually reading this, and quite possibly even wondering if I'm going to write any more.. I honestly have no clue. I've realized for the last year and roughly half more, that I've been going through a type of.. I guess you can call it, passive depression? I have no clue, but all I know is that I've been in a low of sorts for quite the while. Still am, to be honest. I'm going to be straight forward in saying this; it's fairly bad to the point where I'm looking for ways to escape everything, NOT SAYING DEATH THOUGH. Just, imagining things like alternative worlds where everything is different, better, more.. humane.
I apologize for I'm about to get a bit down and gritty, but the world today is truly a sad world. I personally don't have any type of hate for it, not saying I do. On the contrary, I actually believe that we all have kindness and humanity within every single one of us. However, we get so lost, so easy.. and I'm just really disappointed by it. Truth is, I've always been aware of this for nearly all my life, but I tend to turn my cheek to the ugly side of things. I guess I just got tired of turning the other way, and finally came to terms with how everything truly is. The only thing that passively runs through the back of my head everyday now is wishing over and over that this world could change into what it truly should be. I highly don't believe humanity is screwed, cold, greedy, war-driven, and so on.. it's just really misunderstood, lost, and quite frankly, scared.
I've had many dreams back around 2 years ago of being in Equestria, a fantasy which a surprising amount of you bronies keep pretty quiet, as if you never do, haha. But, those dreams.. they were absolutely gorgeous. As beautiful, tranquil, loving, and peaceful as you'd imagine it to be. Then they just seemingly stopped and shoved me back into reality, which honestly, was pretty upsetting. At those times I was ready to trade my limbs and body for that of a pony, and a ticket to Equestria in a heartbeat. In a way, I sort of still would. But reality is reality.
We're all bound here, from birth to death, and we have to make the best of it. Perhaps this world and all of us could be a grand reflection of Equestria one day many years from now.. but it's not. At least not at this very moment. But there is a start for everything. Even the universe had to start at one point. We can choose to fantasize, or accept reality and make our fantasies a reality. I like the last one better.
Now, as for the writing, truth be told it use to be a huge part of my "escape" from reality. It's why I wrote at quite a blistering pace compared to many here. Eventually, as I mentioned, reality hit me, and my habit of escapism was put to a screeching halt. I was no longer feeling that insane joy and motivation to continue writing my mlp fanfictions, and was actually pretty damn heartbroken in being ripped from my beautiful fantasies like that. I sulked and sulked and sulked, passively living day through day with no motive. I lost all of my old tendencies of being fantasy driven, didn't talk to "Luna" up at the moon for fun anymore, didn't have any dreams of Equestria, or the characters, or any of it in general. A lot of the dreams I had were just of aimless travel, going nowhere, and with nobody. I've had it up to here though.
Guys, we have to make the best of our lives, and treat one another not by our hair, or body, or even personalities.. but as a human. You'd be surprised, incredibly surprised, in how this kindness and humanity resides in any person. Anyone. Even the grouchiest of the grouchy, and coldest of the cold. You'd be surprised that in showing them true acceptance and kindness, an uncharacteristic side to them begins to shine. That, my friends, is the humanity in us all.
It's never too late to start. One step at a time, even if they're baby steps. Equestria is as far as we make it, and it could be at our doorstep within a day if we really, really wanted to.
However, I won't lie and say that it's easy. It's not. Nor will it be. But there's no game if there's no pain. (See what I did there? hahahano, anyway) Even now.. my heart actually still secretly yearns for Equestria. < 3
But like I said. It all starts somewhere. Baby steps... 
~Vallis
Hey Vallis. Sorry to hear about your depression. I do agree with you about the world. We don't treat each other as well as we should. I also can honestly say that if I could be sent to Equestria, only able to take what is in my pockets... I would. I don't like this world one bit. I'd rather have kind and loving ponies any day. Depression is a big issue for a lot of people... and those who say "just stop being sad and you'll be fine"... I really can't be near anyone who says that... I'd probably get in a lot of trouble... I have found myself in a hole more often than not... and understand (to some extent) what you mean. I do hope you feel better soon. Everyone deserves to be happy.
3286542 People who normally say things like "just be happy" never have really had such lows to begin with, so I don't blame them for not being able to understand.
Also, thanks for your comment man. You deserve just as much to be happy. I said it myself, deep down my heart still wishes to go to Equestria with nothing but the clothes on my back if I must. I absolutely understand your pain, through and through. I'll know the world is good one day when that wish disappears from within. For now though, I'd much rather not sulk and try to make the best of everything.
Meow?