*sigh*

So it's quite a few months after past the deadline for Fire and Ice that I promised...

There's really no point in beating around the bush, it's not finished, not even close. I did better than Of Wine and Roses, but really, it's been going basically nowhere, and I think I've discovered the problems:

First is motivation. I don't know what the hell has been going on with me lately, but I've had absolutely NO drive to do anything.

At all.

Ever.

I've regressed to the point where all I do is sit on a couch in a basement all day, doing nothing but watching youtube and occasionally some anime. The only times this is interrupted are when I either have to go to my job for a few hours, or if I decided to get up and go to the local gym for an hour. Probably the biggest testament to my lethargy is the fact that I stay up till 3 AM every night, simply because I've already had enough accidental naps during the day to keep me awake.

Second is emotion. I don't want to go into too much detail, because I know it'll sound whiny, but I feel it is a contributing reason. One of my closest friends, who I've known for about 5 years, now, has moved away. I've spent the last month or so trying to figure out how to stay in contact with her or going to Good-Bye parties or whatnot. It's come to the point where I had to give a genuinely heartfelt "Goodbye" aat least three times. I know that that sounds trivial, or stupid, and that, considering the world we live in today, this is one of the least important things to feel sad about, but well, it still is very sad. I don't know if I would call it depression, because I've definitely been there and remember it pretty well, but It's still a state of sadness.

In the past I've been able to use fan fiction as a way to get rid of these emotions, to try and read or write about happy things, so that I would be happy. But, as I've said, I've been just so damn lethargic that I can't even do that. I don't feel like writing, so I can't.

Then there's lack of planning. When I made a promise to create a fic in a month, I completely forgot that, hey, it might be a good Idea to actually know what I'm doing. (You know, like a story) really, all I had was the Idea for the ship, and that was about it. While this reason is certainly a lot less strong or overbearing, it is still kind of a huge freakin' problem.

And, lastly is interest. As I've grown up and learned things about myself, I have developed a larger interest in music as an art form, as opposed to writing. It's not that I think writing is a bad, I just feel a much stronger resonance with music. Which is why I've decided to study Music Technology when I go to Uni.

And apart from writing, well. To put things simply, my life just isn't ruled over by MLP like it was a year or two ago. When I was writing those old stories, it was during a time when literally all I did with my life was either listen to My Little Pony music, read (and re-read and re-re-read) My Little Pony Fanfiction, or watch the show My Little Pony: Friendship is magic. I was actually very content to be wrapped up in the magical world of Equestria. But, as time moved on, I found other fandoms, ones that were wholly new and able to help me connect more with people from even more different backgrounds or interests.

Now let me be clear, I have never, nor will I ever, consider my time spent in the fandom as a waste of time or as being an overbearing or hindering addiction. My little pony was one of the most profound, awe inspiring and self-constructive thing I've ever been a part of. Without the help of everyone here in the fandom (and I mean everyone), I wouldn't be able to say that I'm the person that I've become today. Thanks to you guys of the pony fandom, I've been able to save myself from a massive Identity crisis and and help shape my personality into something I can truly be proud of.

So, when I say that I have branched out to other fandoms. I will always love the equines that helped me to grow, I will always come back to the show I love so dear, and I will always ALWAYS be a Brony!

At this point I'm almost certain no one is reading this, or any of my previous blogs for that matter. But I don't really think that's the point. As much as it does matter to me to keep my readers informed, I think a more important point to this is that, once I say these things here, where people can read it. It has a much more personal meaning. So, even if no one reads this, that's okay. It's okay because I wrote it, and that makes all the difference to me.

But, if anyone at all has taken the time to read this blog. Then there is one piece of news I would like to share:

I have recently been given access and made an Archive of Our Own Account. I can't promise that there will be any regular uploads, or any strong activity, but what I can promise is that my first fic on this new account will be about My little pony and will be out very soon.

You can find the account here:
Sparkling Vinegar

I know I've said it so many times, and now I've come to my last time of saying it. Know that I still mean it with all of my heart and all of my being when I say:

Danke!
-Edelweiß