Spoiler Alert: Throne of Atlantis, Part One · 1:06am Jul 7th, 2015
: Doctor, we simply CAN'T review the second and third films without reviewing the first film...well, first! It's just not RIGHT!
Twilight, we've been arguing about this for THREE MONTHS without food or sleep! Just get the blasted review done before we both die of malnutrition, dehydration, and exhaustion!
: Uggh, fine! Lightweight. Now where'd our copy of The Desolation of Smaug go?
: Um, I think we lost it.: ....what.
:Well, heh, it's a pretty long story, Twi. It involves Hot Pockets, racquetball, and that Omniversal Portal that we've been repeatedly told to never, ever touch.: ...fine. Alright. We can move on from this. What's the next film on the list?: Um, Justice League: Throne of Atlantis.: ...we never reviewed Justice League: War, did we?: Uh, no.: ....FFUUU--
: ...so are we okay, Twi? Can ya do this?
: Yes, I suppose. Alright, so. We're watching Justice League: Throne of Atlantis. The film begins in a U.S. Naval submarine. Unfortunately, Sean Connery is nowhere to be found. One of the crewmates shows the Captain a picture of his kid.
: Well, they're doomed. And sure enough, the sub's attacked and destroyed by a group of mysterious underwater assailants. Say, Rainbow, you covered Fluttershy's eyes, right? Hee hee, that rymed!
: Please, I've got this.
:I really wish we'd stop watching s-such violent movies. A-anyway, we move on to Cyborg, whose dream of running outside as a normal human is interrupted by waking up in his mechanical body. Oh, how sad!
: I'd probably be more invested if I felt like this version of the Justice League had the emotional capacity to make concepts like that into a legitimate character arc. When he wakes up, Cyborg has a conversation with Dr. Sarah Charles, a love interest of his from the comics. Once again, if I expected her to actually have any relevance to the movie, I might actually care. Steve Trevor, the League's government liason and Wonder Woman's ex, shows up to tell Cyborg about the sub. Cyborg goes to investigate, but not before telling Steve that none of his teammates have really stuck around, and that the Justice League doesn't really exist.
: Okay, ah know we missed a lotta context by not watchin' the last flick, but what in tarnation was the point'a the first movie if'n we gotta put the team togethah again in the sequel?
: A good question, Applejack. We have a brief scene with Superman and Wonder Woman, where they talk about their place in the world before sharing a kiss in the nightscape of Athens. I must say, I've never been fond of this relationship myself, but at least these two have some chemistry.
: Then, since apparently this film can't focus on two characters for more than two minutes, we are introduced to Arthur Curry, aka Aquaman. Now, I've always liked Aquaman, but he's not always the easiest character to sell to the public. So you have to be really careful when introducing him, so that the viewer is able to take him seriously. And how does this movie do so?
By having him in civilian clothes, drunk off his flank in a bar, and talking with a lobster about his troubles.
AT LAST THE WAIT IS OVER
REVIEWS LIVE AGAIN
3214307 HALLELUJAH!!
Seriously, though, I appreciate the enthusiasm.
Haven t we all been there?
Considering Fluttershy is a wildlife expert... of some sort... I've always thought she was the most acclimated to violence out of the Mane Six. Kinda a nitpick, though.
One of the problems I had with the movie was that it didn't focus enoguh on anyone. It would have been better as a solo Aquaman movie.
3243454 Yeah, we have been there before. More often than truly necessary, thanks to Rainbow.
: Well, you're not entirely wr-wrong. I am a publicly licensed wildlife caretaker and part-time veterinarian, so, yes, I am used to the physical signs of violence. What's forced me to, well, ease my way into movie v-violence is my aversion to h-hostile e-em-emotions.
And I absolutely agree about the focus. The problem is that Throne of Atlantis is based off of a comic that crossed over between the Justice League and Aquaman titles a year or two ago, so they felt the need to make the movie adaption as a Justice League film. Even though the Justice League provides very little to the story's emotional depth, such as it is.
As for Fluttershy, I'll let her speak for herself.
3243746
Well, that makes sense. I'm sorry if I've bothered you, Fluttershy.
3248703
: Oh, it's no problem at all! We don't talk to humans all that often, and it's always an interesting change of pace.