Something I've never done before.

Hi again!
In order to prove that I'm not just sitting idle (and to drum up interest), I'm going to do something my super paranoid self usually would never consider.
So here is the rough draft of the first eight pages of The Beauty of War.
Enjoy.

The Beauty of War

Chapter 1- Pretty Speeches

Page 1

Panel 1
A very pretty sunset. In the distance, you can see a mountain.

Text Box:
In every aspect, it was a perfectly average day.

Panel 2
Zoom in on the mountain. You can make out a pony on a ledge.

Text Box:
Every aspect save one.

Panel 3
Zoom in on the pony. He is manning a mortar, firing it.

Text Box:
On this day, for the first time in centuries, Equestria entered a state of war.

Panel 4
Rarity standing at attention, in dress uniform.

Text Box:
Was there any question its heroes would join the fight?

Page 2

Panel 1
Camera behind Rarity, showing her to be in an office. Spitfire is entering, headed for the desk.

Spitfire:
Ah, Miss Rarity. Rainbow Dash's prissy friend.

Panel 2
High side angle of Spitfire sitting at the desk. On it, we can see a file with Rarity's picture paper clipped to the front.

Spitfire:
I see you somehow made it through basic training. Clearly, the infantry's standards are slipping.

Panel 3
Spitfire opening the file. Camera is in front of her.

Spitfire:
And now you find yourself assigned to my command.

Panel 4
Rarity, a surprised look on her face. The camera is in front of her and angled left, showing mostly her right side.

Panel 5
Same camera position. Rarity has extended a hoof and is trying to be tactful.

Rarity:
Forgive me, Ma'am. But I would have assumed you'd be a part of the air force...

Page 3

Panel 1
Camera on Spitfire's left, and slightly behind. She is looking at Rarity over a mostly closed folder.

Spitfire:
You and me both. Unfortunately, due to my time with the Wonderbolts, I have what the Brass is calling "Media Experience".

Panel 2
Two-shot of Spitfire at her desk and Rarity standing at attention, and the distance between them. Camera is on Spitfire's right/Rarity's left.

Spitfire(1):
That means I get put in charge of all the pretty ponies that get paraded around to inspire the masses.

Spitfire(2):
Lucky me.

Panel 3
Rarity, mild outrage on her face.

Rarity:
Ma'am, I signed up for the artill-

Panel 4
Spitfire holding up a hoof. Her eyes are closed in annoyance.

Panel 5
Spitfire, her eyes open again.

Spitfire:
Sucks to be you, you're a superstar now. Report to the parade grounds tomorrow at 0900. The Princess of Friendship is going to give a speech and we're supposed to stand behind her. You can meet the rest of the team then.

Page 4

Panel 1
High angle of Twilight giving a speech. Rarity, Spitfire, and the team are standing at attention behind her. Some of the ponies in the are visible. Fancy Pants and Fleur are among them.

Text Box:
The next day.

Twilight:
--and I'm confident that peace will come again soon. Thank you.

Panel 2
Twilight walking offstage past Rarity. Both are making a concerted effort not to interact. Clapping onomatopoeia at the top of the panel.

Panel 3
Spitfire turns to address the team. Camera is behind Rarity's shoulder so you see her hair and part of the rest of her. Enough that you know it's Rarity, but Spitfire is still dominant in frame.

Spitfire:
Alright, now it's your turn. Mingle with the crowds and chat up the bigwigs.

Panel 4
Spitfire up close. Very serious.

Spitfire:
Do not- I repeat, do not- make a fool of yourselves. Understood?

Panel 5
Rarity and parts of two other team members. Rarity in the center.

Team:
Yes, Ma'am!

Page 5

Panel 1
Rarity walking down the steps of the stage. Camera in front of her.

Panel 2
Same camera position. Rarity has just reached the bottom of the stairs. Twilight is speeding at her from the right side, reminiscent of Rainbow Dash.

Panel 3
Twilight hugging Rarity. Rarity looks ever so slightly embarrassed.

Twilight:
Oh, Rarity! I've missed you so much.

Rarity:
I've missed you too, Darling.

Panel 4
Rarity and Twilight. Rarity is on the left.

Rarity:
But it's only been two months, that's not that long.

Twilight:
I guess you're right... I've just felt terrible since I heard you were enlisting.

Page 6

Panel 1
Rarity, looking kind of surprised.

Rarity:
Why is that, Twilight? It wasn't anything you did.

Panel 2
Twilight, her eyes downcast.

Twilight:
That's just it! The other princesses and I could have done something! Could've stopped this war. But we didn't, and now you, and Rainbow Dash, and Applejack...

Panel 3
Rarity comforts Twilight

Rarity:
Darling, there was nothing you could do. Equestria's been peaceful for a long time, but even peace doesn't last forever.

Twilight:
You don't understand-

From Off-screen:
Princess Twilight! Princess Twilight, over here!

Panel 4
Twilight composes herself, wiping a tear away.

Twilight:
I have to go. It was nice seeing you again, Rarity.

Panel 5
Rarity watching Twilight go. Twilight's back half is visible on the right side of the panel.

Rarity:
Twilight...

Panel 6
Close up on Rarity's face. She is concerned.

Fancy Pants(off-screen):
Rarity, my dear.

Panel 7
Rarity turns her head to look.

Page 7

Panel 1
Fancy Pants and Fleur walking towards Rarity

Fancy Pants:
I never thought the day would come when I'd see you in uniform.

Panel 2
Fancy looking down at Rarity, a touch of sadness showing on his face. Fancy is on the left, Rarity on the right.

Fancy Pants:
I'm afraid it doesn't suit you as well as a beautiful dress would.

Panel 3
Rarity looking at her uniform.

Rarity:
Sometimes, one must wear something unseemly to fit the theme.

Panel 4
Fancy and Fleur. Fleur is returning someone's hello with a wave. Not an energetic wave, more just putting her hoof up. Fluer is on the right.

Fancy Pant:
Quick witted as ever. I'm glad to see you haven't lost that.

Panel 5
Fancy side view, shoulder and up. Camera showing his right side.

Fancy Pants:
Now, I'm not going to ask why you enlisted. I've never known you to do things without a reason, or something analogous to one. And I can't say that I wish I could join you.

Page 8

Panel 1
Close up on Fancy smiling warmly.

Fancy Pants:
But allow this old coward to wish you luck.

Panel 2
Rarity waving the notion away.

Rarity:
Come now, Fancy Pants. Nopony thinks you're a coward for not joining the army.

Panel 3
Fancy and Fleur, with Fleur still on the right. She's squinting at something to the left and above the panel. It's still a distance away, so her head is only tilted 45 degrees.

Fancy Pants:
Of course they do. I'm wealthy and un-enlisted. And, truthfully, I am afraid to fight.

Panel 4
The same set up, but since Fleur interrupts, she's grabbing Fancy Pant's foreleg and pointing where she'd been looking. Her face is next to Fancy's.

Fancy:
But I swear to you that those who aren't will never want for-

Fleur:
Fancy, what's that?!

Panel 5
All of them looking up, fear on their faces. Rarity is on the right, Fleur is in the middle, still pointing, and Fancy is on the left.

Comments

[dream1990]

i like it