Five Years

Art by Huussii.

Five years.

Can you imagine what's happened in five years? Out of everything that there ever was and ever will be, five years is a full twentieth of your life, if I'm doing my math right. It's a jump, that's for sure.

It's been five years since I've written a dedicated fic, something to be proud of. I've written tiny little things here and there, like Silly Little Things, but I haven't written anything big and important in a full five years. That's huge. It's something that I can't say that I'm proud of, because I could have done so much in that time. But, with that out of the way, it's been worth the wait. In that time, while I might not have written anything, I'd say that I've honed my writing skills enough to say that my next fic will be something to be proud of.

There's been plenty of time for me to write something else, and for that, I am sorry. I could have and I should have written something important, dedicated my time to. But five years ago, my computer crashed and I lost everything of the 300K word fic that I was in the middle of writing. After that, I sort of lost all my dedication towards writing and sort of cascaded down into my own banishment, deciding it was best to focus on roleplaying rather than writing. Suffering a loss like that really doesn't help for motivation.

But, with every loss comes a hope.

Art by Huussii.

Over the past few weeks, I've been chasing my own little dreams, writing out the best fic that I could imagine. It's not something that I'm familiar with, but it's going to be dark, it's going to be dangerous, and it's going to be huge. It's the fic that I've always wanted to write but never quite had the time or motivation to do it. Instead of letting myself drown in my self-imposed banishment, I'm picking myself back up and heading out to work on this project. I'll admit, it's not easy.

How do you pick up where you left off from five years ago? How do you move on after you lose something you worked so hard on? Well, the answer to that is that you just stick with it. You find your motivation, you find your reason, and then you just do it. You sit down, crack your knuckles, put on some music and start writing out ideas until something comes to you that you know you have no choice but to write. Even if it's a massive, daunting task, you have to do it. If you don't write it, then who else will?

It took me this long to find my reason, and I know it has taken other writers a whole lot longer or a whole lot shorter. I'm not unique in my problems, nor am I unique in my solution. But I'm determined to write, and I'm going to make sure it's the best fic to ever come across the desk of ForEn. It takes the backing of friends and the support of those who care, but I'm working on it, and I'm cranking day and night to come out with the fic that I've always wanted to make.

So, I'd like to thank ScratchnTavi for always being there as a supportive friend, and helping me refine my skills and hone my determination.
I'd like to thank Midnight Ice Cream for being my prereader, editor, and all-round great pal who's there to tell me when my work is good or terrible.
And, of course, thanks to all you guys and gals out there who are willing to listen to me ramble as I start this journey of epic proportions.

Here's to five years of darkness, and a hopeful five years of light! Cheers, laddies.