• Member Since 31st Oct, 2014
  • offline last seen Sep 13th, 2015

Gildozer


Wow, so bio, very fimfiction. I like pony, and anime, and games about war.

More Blog Posts2

May
23rd
2015

Feedback Needed, You didn't see that coming? (Age of Ultron Spoilers) · 4:01am May 23rd, 2015

Here's what I've got so far. If anyone has any advice on what to improve, what to change, what to tweak and what to get rid of, that would be great.

The worst place to wake up after (supposedly) dropping dead while on a floating city, was a the middle of a desert. They were hot, dry, full of dust, and honestly would be better off if they never existed. There was barely anything to drink in them. It was like a death sentence. And the poor fool that was sentenced to awaken here? His name was Pietro Maximoff. And he was face up, lying down in what seemed to be an endless sandbox of isolation. He stirred before shooting up into a crouching position. He felt himself for bullet wounds. Nothing. He sighed in relief, both at the fact he was alive and that Ultron was seemingly defeated. Then he realized he was missing something-- No, someone.

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Comments ( 1 )

I don't know what could be fixed, but I believe you need less periods, and more commas. Just don't ever have too much of both.

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