Well. This is awkward. · 12:04am May 23rd, 2015
So, I've got quite a bit of the next two chapters of Mare who Once Lived on the Moon done, and Demesne is chugging along soundly, or it was.
I was hoping to get my workload off of myself a bit. The reason Mare had as much written as fast as it was, was because that was between uni workloads for me. Since it's a creative course, a lot of the time and mental resources I would have dedicated to pony fic instead ended up in short films and the like. Even a television commercial or two, which has been endlessly gratifying.
I was hoping to tell you, around this time, that I could go back to devoting myself entirely to my fiction, because I love pony, I love writing, and this is honestly what I want to be doing.
I was hoping I could tell you that.
On Wednesday, which feels like yesterday honestly, I had a series of psychotic episodes culminating in a rather awful seizure.
Here is a rather accurate transcription of what transpired;
Me: Oh God it hurts it hurts it aunoursn oncosfncldjc noaunclkxncun
Mother: ...?!
Me: Osnuoncorunc aounoucnr ocnroun?!
Mother: ...?!
Me: Ocoruncrou FUCK courn... coun fuck. Yuouo shit. Cfduycu fuck.
Mother: ...
MrNumbers then typed something on his iPod
iPod: "Okay, I can still swear. And type. That's a start."
So, not to put too fine a point on it, my brain has snapped like dry twigs in autumn. I was able to get back to speaking by Thursday, but everything that comes out of my mouth is...
Well, have you ever seen a little thing from the 80's called Max Headroom?
Yeah. That.
This isn't because of a stutter. The nearest I can figure, I can't concentrate either, and reading and writing for extended periods of time has become incredibly difficult and painful for me, so something's short circuited.
I have had scans. It does not appear to be anything permanent.
I will be well soon enough, I hope, and then, I can finally release some of the material I've already written. Writer's block is not the issue, because everything upcoming has been planned and planned well.
You've waited a few months, now. Hopefully you can wait a few weeks yet.
Jesus, dude. I hope everything works out all right for you ;_;
Dude, if it's a serious brain condition, I'm sure all of your loyal followers will understand. Anyway, I hope you get better soon.
Hang in there, and we'll do the same. Promise.
I'm pretty sure that's an acceptable permission slip for a tardy fic.
Hope you have a full recovery.
Rest and heal.
Sweet Celestia - that sounds like it sucked. No rush - we can all wait.
Saint's and proxies, we will understand if you take, well, eternity. You focus on doing whatever you can to recover from this absolute [Insert Favorite Slur Regarding Unexpected Biological Malfunctions]. Now I'm going to try to make myself happier and watch this Max Headroom film. I of the 80's blood am indebted to see it.
!
Oh, gods above, I am all the worried. If you need anything, anything at all, I am permanently at your disposal. I'm terribly sorry this has happened to you.
Welcome back then, and I wish you a fast and easy recovery
Holy cow, I came in here ready to make a funny comment but my oh my after reading that I wish you the best getting well.
Thanks for all the kind words so far, truly, but the solution for this seems to be spending a while lying in bed listening to music and audio books. I'm not about to undergo invasive brain surgery or the like, and I surely shall get better over the course of the month.
I am not in undue amounts of pain unless I attempt extended conversation or try to focus on anything too much for periods of time. I am not bleeding, no bones are broken, I'm just a bit... buggered. And a lot of people have been commenting and PMing me as of late, asking what the situation is, and I believed them owed an explanation.
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Why are you sorry, Ghost? Did you have something to do with this? I knew it, this is how you planned on slowing my inevitable follower-count marathon against you! It's always been about the views to you, hasn't it! Not even a question mark there, because surely that is a statement of fact!
I'd accuse you of poisoning my tea, but I figure that would be sacrilege.
Eep, that sound's terrifying. Glad to hear it doesn't appear to be anything permanent. Get well soon.
Oh, my heavens! Hon, that's terrible! (For you, not us.)
Anyway, you just rest up and let your poor brain do the same. We can wait.
And my thoughts and prayers are with you, sweetling. Just get well, and we'll see you later.
Good god, man! That's awful!
Here's hoping you recover fully soon. And take your time, alright? No rush.
If you try now, it may be the first appropriate use of the [Random] tag.
Oh, dear. Good luck!
Yeach, brain Uh-Oh's are the worst kind of Uh-Oh.
That sounds scary as hell. I've had relatives get concussions and such, but never anything like that. Good call on trying to write out your thoughts on the phone - I'm sure in your head it sounded perfectly normal, it was just your verbalization that getting fucked up.
Yeah, what Zocarik said. Rest and heal. There'll be new poneshow tomorrow morning.
Take your time, get yourself well. We can all wait long enough for that.
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NO.
I don't know of any temporary conditions that cause symptoms like that other than taking drugs. You had scans? What kind of scans? You need an MRI, not just a CAT scan. The main things I know of that can cause this:
- Tourette's, but it's probably not that
- Epilepsy, but it's probably not that
- Normal pressure hydrocephalus
- Meningitis or other brain infection (Lyme? it doesn't sound like typical Lyme)
- Bleeding in the brain
- Severe brain trauma
- A brain cyst
- Brain cancer
- Phenylketonuria plus having a big drink of aspartame?
- A severe reaction to sucralose? I've never heard of a reaction that strong to it.
- An interaction between psychoactive medications.
The ones that sound most likely given your symptoms (bleeding, brain fluid retention, brain infection, brain cyst, brain cancer) all kill you if left untreated.
The best possibility that I can think of is that this is a very severe migraine headache. But it doesn't sound like a migraine.
So drop whatever you're doing and get yourself some heavy-duty health insurance. Then immediately get a second opinion. Maybe get the opinion first. Remember 50% of doctors are below-average. This is bad shit that might kill you.
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Dothiepin mixed with extreme stress setting off its less-common side-effects.
My condolences MrNumbers, Replace Mother with Wife and I know exactly what this feels like.
I suffered multiple strokes myself in my mid twenties, the speaking gibberish was scary, I also had trouble understanding language and temporary left hand paralysis. That was over a decade ago and only lasting effect is I now have Strabismus (derpy lazy left eye) from the nerve damage.
So rest, heal up and try not to stress too much, Life goes on :)
3089473 Oh. We don't use that in the states. Well, I hope you got an MRI anyway. And think about something less side-effecty, like Wellbutrin.
3089493 Oh, yeah, also could have been a stroke.
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I can tell you from personal experience that that is 100% guaranteed NOT Tourette's Syndrome. I know MrNumbers already shared what caused it but I wanted to put this out there.
Hang in there. I hope recovery goes smoothly. I also hope your docs are going to do something about changing the med that you said set this off. *hugs* Good luck. I'm praying for you.
Get well soon
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I've been on Wellbutrin! It took me two months to develop an almost-total immunity to it!
This also goes for:
Quetiapine, Prozac, Seraquel, Abilify, Celexa, Paroxetine, Fluoxetine, Sertraline and Lurasidone. Oh! Also: Thorazine, Zyprexa and Risperidone.
It has taken me four years to develop a total immunity to all of those drugs, and those are just the ones I remember working for at least two months or more, or still have a box as a trophy. Some just never caught on.
This drug is the first, since my very first prescription of Zoloft, to have lasted as long as it has. I haven't needed to change dosage, even, unlike the others where I ended up being prescribed almost toxic amounts just to combat my rapid-immunity, where it became thought that changing medications would be more risky.
Yipe.
Rest up.
Sweet mother of everything.
I think I can safely speak for all of us that we're just glad you're still here with us. When your brain has reconnected all the shorted wires, we'll look forward to you wading back into the fic pool, but I'd be more concerned about guilt/stress forcing you to push yourself too hard on our behalf (and then we get nothing at all). Be well. Is there anything more we can do?
I don't know about long pony audiobooks, but if you get to where you're okay with text reading and still have lots of in-bed time to fill, I really enjoyed The Mare In The High Castle. Maybe others can comment if there are good pony longfics with readings out there?
Dang, that sucks. Hope you feel better soon.
Holy shit, dude.
Don't stress at all about posting or not posting anything, just focus on getting better.
I had a seizure once.
It was awful.
I hope you get better.
I blame the spider rain.
In seriousness though, glad to hear things are on the upswing, even if they aren't quite at good, yet. Get dat rest, man.
And watch for spiders.
Wow. Take care of yourself and get better. We can definitely wait...
--arcum42
Numbers,
Kinda feeling the same as Ghost in the worried department.
Always here for you if you need ANYTHING.
Sending you lots of Loopy love and wishing you a speedy recovery.
I thought it was Tourette syndrome at first but I figure your doctors would have figured that out if that was the case plus looking at what you are saying it does not sound like a tic. Also that usually is found in childhood though it can be missed fairly easily especially if it is not very obvious.
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Well, that's one badass immune system. You could always get a job as a snake charmer. I suppose you'd need it living down there.
My well-wishes go with you. I hope your brain completes its reboot without further difficulty.
Whoa
Take care of yourself! Everything else can wait
That sounds horrible. At least it isn't permanent. I hope you have an easy recovery. And while you're probably hearing this on all sides, don't worry about the story or us—nobody's going to take issue with a health-related hiatus. That said, I do greatly appreciate your willingness to keep us on the up-and-up, and I'm sure I'm not the only one,
Take care of yourself and don't even try to worry about us waiting. We will be waiting of course, but that is not important right now.
Wow, that's terrifying. I hope for your recovery more than I hope for quick updates.
Holy shit!
At least it doesn't seem like anything permanent. Hoping for your swift recovery!
Can't even start to describe how much I hope for a quick and restful recovery for ya, mate. Anything you need, don't hesitate to ask; you know how to find me.
Best wishes, and I'll come back in two days or so, and then you'll have permission to laugh at my face for worrying like an old lady if you want. Get better, man. Rest and don't strain yourself.
And check your mail in a couple hours or somethin'
oh you make me feel like a bad person i understand you are ill but i couldn't help the thought that you need an Exorcist and fast
i also apologise because this post made me laugh because of that thought
anyway get better soon
i realy like the story and i would like to see it finished too many good storys never get finished
on another note im starting to thing there is a curse on twilight sparkles stories as alot of good fic have had the authors struck down by illness during writing, to name a couple: Cvbrony has developed a serious problem with his hands while writing rights to accention to the point that it has severely delayed the story.
I for got his name but the author of 'four of two' had to stop his work for medical reasons as well (which i wont mention because of privacy and decency)
so yeah starting to get a bad vibe here
Shit. Umm, what they all said. Get better, amigo.
Yowza. Here's hoping it really is temporary. Best of luck.
Ooooh, that sounds horrible.
As with any brain-going-wrong stuff, I'm going to strongly recommend getting yourself to a doctor, and doing everything he tells you.
Looking through the comments, it appears you're already doing that, which is good...
I hope you are doing much better now. Please....take your time. We will be here for you if you need anything. I myself can offer only friendly support and a kind word but I can see many care very much about you. Also, please consider being checked by a physician. This could be something neurological caused by a chemical imbalance. It never hurts to be cautious. Take care and be well!
We're all just glad you're still here with us. Don't you dare push yourself out of guilt to produce something for us okay!
Relax and feel better.
God, that sounds horrible. I'm not sure what, if anything, I can do for you. If you can think of anything, please feel free to let me know. In the meanwhile, I'll just be over here wishing you all the best and hoping things work out for you.