Hiatus is over? Sorta. Not quite there yet. · 7:58pm Apr 11th, 2015
Edit Nov 2017: Uni sucks lol
What's up everypony, how have you all been doing?
So it's been a heck of a long time hasn't it? Well... not really. What if I said that I still made an effort to check back in roughly everyday to check in with messages, group stuff, and the ever expanding list of chapters I haven't read as of yet?
2308 unread chapters doesn't seem so bad.
So as a major part of my hiatus I have been doing university things and trying to focus. After an audacious term of failing most of my classes I've fallen into a state of not really giving a crap or finding joy in anything I do. But as much as I tried to put writing out of my mind and focus on my work so that I don't have to pay more stupidly overpriced Canadian tuition costs, I just simply couldn't.
I would wake up everyday wondering just how rustier I've gotten in terms of my writing. I remember looking back at some stories and disliking a lot of what I had written. I was disgusted at myself, I hated the sloppiness, I felt boring, and I personally didn't know how I got away with certain scenarios. University isn't really helping to boost my confidence in terms of my writing, however, at least I've taken the time off to really adjust myself from a technical standpoint.
I'm mostly just scared about how-- when the day comes-- my writing will be like. Will it be just as generalized and unpolished? Or just simply boring and over worded? There's been a lot of personal walls that blocked me from continuing the writing that one time I truly enjoyed doing. I'm hoping that over the spring and summer I can find time to put out some stories that I've been thinking for a while. Nothing too large (as much as I would've liked to get those out of the way or at least started), but the simple stories and possible one shots I had in mind.
I've been suffering from writer's withdrawal ever since my decline over the last almost two years. Sometimes it's physically affecting me, and it's always emotionally grueling. As a result I have not been able to write and stuck in a state of limbo where all I can do is offer past experiences to other writers or brainstorm plot ideas of several new story possibilities that plague my head every single day.
The newest MLP episode really hit home with me and caused a large amount of memories to flood back. It inspires me and yet, I still believe I can't do it anymore. I regret not having posted the gazillian stories I have earlier where the pony hype was just simply beautiful. Perhaps it was for the best.
Anyways, I hope you all had a good day today. My exams end next week so maybe after I can strain myself to get back into a groove.
I guarantee the new stories (if any) will be fabulous.