APRIL FOOLS WOW PATCH · 11:18pm Apr 1st, 2015

So Blizzard made an April Fools patch notes for the patch. Nothing is actually changed but here are some of the best things the patch said:

To curb confusion over whether to call them Undead or Forsaken, Sylvanas's faction is now simply referred to as Walkers.

Stormwind Park

[editor's note: Remember to do something with this.]

Draenei
Gift of the Naaru now actually gives other players a gift. However, as beings of pure light, they probably got you a rainbow, or something? You should make them a list.

Gnome
Gnomes can now equip and wear goggles regardless of class or profession requirements. However, the goggles do nothing.

Human
Every Man for Himself has been redesigned. It now grants Humans a third trinket slot.

Orc
Orcs now receive a state-funded rebate for being more "green."

Walker
Corrected an error where Walkers were able to gain benefits from eating and drinking.

Worgen
All Worgen characters must now wear a collar and carry around little blue baggies.

Class Changes

Death Knights

Mastery: Blood Shield has been renamed to Mastery: Health Shield, because ew.
Breath of Sindragosa is now minty-fresh.
Bone Shield: now with 50% more calcium!
The Death Knight unique skin colors have been made darker in response to player requests for darker Knights.
Dark Simulacrum is now 37% easier to pronounce.
Mind Freeze now renders the target unconscious and causes them to slowly turn to ice, unless you erase their memory of the incident and spend the rest of your life in seclusion.
Outbreak no longer applies Blood Plague and Frost Fever. Instead, it applies a new, airborne version of a virus first encountered 30 years ago. Enemy players will have to work together to develop a new serum to cure the virus before the military bombs the whole city.

Druids

Balance has been redesigned. The damage you deal is now variable, based on the current number of threads on the forums demanding nerfs or buffs.
Remove Corruption can no longer be cast on the members of your guild's loot council.
Cyclone is now dispellable, but only by other Druids.
Druids in Tree of Life form will now bear fruit.
The Moonkin model has been updated, but it's too adorable to kill, so we aren't going to implement it. It's pretty great, though.
Gift of the Wild has returned. It now causes the casting Druid to leave a freshly-killed bird or rodent on the doorstep of the target player's Town Hall.
New form: Meatsquatch. Transforms the caster into a creature that's half hamburger, half Yeti. Abilities include Devour Meat and Sabotage Cooking. MEATSQUATCH!

Hunters

Seem fine.

Mages

Alter Time will now automatically update for Daylight Savings.
Overpowered has been nerfed for obvious reasons.
Blink's tooltip has been updated to: "Teleports the caster directly into the nearest rock, shrub, or fence." Functionality unchanged.
Due to drought, Conjured Water is now being rationed.
Invisibility can now only be used when no one is looking, including the Mage.
Mage Armor has an even newer, more unique icon.
To better illustrate the difference in effectiveness, Fireball has been renamed "Ball of Fire" and Pyroblast has been renamed "Great Ball of Fire." Goodness gracious!
Despite their many heroic deeds over the years, player Mages are still nowhere near as cool as Jaina or Khadgar.
Seriously, did you see what Khadgar did with the dam in Tanaan Jungle?
All of the elements were like FWOOOM and then he threw them at it like KAPOW and all the water went WOOOOSH.
It was awesome.

Monks

Crackling Jade Lightning still exists.
Serenity now causes the caster to don a brown coat and get really sad about Wash.
Storm, Earth, and Fire has had its powers magnified, and can now be used on a total of 5 targets. Because of this change, it's been renamed to "Earth, Fire, Wind, Water, and Heart."
Monks can now activate a brief montage cutscene that shows their character farming materials for flasks and food, reading up on boss encounters, and practicing their rotations, instead of having to actually do any of those things.
Monks now automatically Roll everywhere instead of running while out of combat.
Energizing Brew has been renamed to Red Ox. The effects remain the same, but it gives the Monk wings when activated.
Abilities without the words "Chi" or "Zen" in their name have been fixed to correctly have one or both. Enjoy Spinning Zen Crane Chi Kick.

Paladins

Empowered Seals no longer causes the user to belt out "Kiss From a Rose" at the top of their lungs.
After several years of deliberations, the Templar has finally reached a Verdict.
Inquisition is back. Isn't that surprising? No one expects Inquisition!
Blinding Light now causes affected players to rev up like a deuce, whatever that means.
Execution Sentence has been commuted and replaced with Life Imprisonment.
In an effort to provide a friendlier image, the Order of the Silver Hand has designated several Raids, Dungeons, and Battlegrounds as "Judgment-Free Zones." While in one of these zones, all Paladins will have their Judgment spells disabled.

Priests

Leap of Faith can no longer be used on players channeling Hearthstone.
Leap of Faith can no longer be used when the Priest is standing next to a cliff.
Leap of Faith can no longer be used on players on or near elevators.
Priests are now 80% less annoying.
Spirit Shell now melts in your mouth, not in your hand.
Spectral Guise no longer summons a bunch of creepy ghost dudes to follow you around. We misread it, sorry.
Angelic Feathers can now be used to tickle sleeping party members.
Instead of granting vision of the surrounding area, Mind Vision now allows the Priest to look into their target's deepest thoughts. Not recommended for use on King Varian. Dude's got issues.

Rogues

After earning enough Combo Points, the Rogue's next finisher will include fries and a drink.
Distract can now be used on people who write patch no... ooh, shiny!
Due to Ravenholdt's increased need for secrecy, all further Rogue updates will be presented using invisible ink.
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Shaman

Grounding Totem now causes party members to reflect on their life choices and consider that maybe quitting their job to write that novel wasn’t the best idea.
Capacitor Totem is what makes time travel possible.
Lightning Bolt can now only be cast while moving. Stopping or standing still will interrupt the cast.
Using the /kiss emote on Hexed targets will now cause the effect to end immediately, and you're just going to have to live with that.
New ability: Water Shock. Used by chefs to keep noodles from overcooking.
Ascendance will now properly make the Shaman gradually ascend in the air during its duration.
Tremor Totem now has a chance to summon a giant worm and/or Kevin Bacon.
Bloodlust has been renamed Heroism.
Heroism has been renamed Bloodlust.
Unleash Life, uh... finds a way.

Warlocks

Cataclysm has finally upgraded to Warlords of Draenor.
Due to the events in the Warlords of Draenor opening cinematic, Mannoroth's Fury is significantly less furious.
Warlocks can now find and complete an epic, 47-step quest to earn Chromatic Fire. Finally, you can experience the true essence of the Warlock class: rainbows!
Chaos Bolt can no longer be targeted. Chaos Bolt does what it wants. You're not Chaos Bolt's dad!
Dark Soul has been completely redesigned and made way more difficult to use, but we're not going to tell you how. You're going to have to figure out Dark Soul for yourself.
In addition to no longer generating Burning Embers, Rain of Fire no longer deals damage.
The Destruction passive Backdraft continues to remind you of that weird Kurt Russell movie about firefighters.

Warriors

Hamstring has been removed and replaced with a new ability called Ham Sandwich. Sorry about that, one of our designers got hungry.
Spell Reflection. R, E, F, L, E, C, T, I, O, N. Reflection.
Warriors who use Whirlwind immediately after Bladestorm will get really dizzy.
Gladiator Stance has been made 55% more entertaining.
Due to increased concerns from their coworkers, all Warriors are now required to take Anger Management.

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