Review: A Friend of the Night. by: Shotoman

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Luna, freshly returned from the moon, is having trouble getting used to being around ponies again, and her sister is concerned about the Night Princess growing to isolated once more. Could sharing Twilight’s newly begun letters about the Magic of Friendship help break the introverted alicorn out of her shell? Or maybe something more. Maybe she just needs a friend of her own.

Story: The biggest point to address about the story, is how it really emphasizes the ‘Slice’ portion of “Slice of Life.” Each chapter is just one quick look at Luna’s life after returning from the Moon and being freed of Nightmare Moon. (Well until the last few, where one flows right into the other.) Another operative word being ‘quick’. This is a fairly short, very fast paced story. Yet, despite being so short, and rather quick, it never feels rushed. The skipping around likely helping in that. We aren’t seeing one continuous, complete narrative, but rather small snapshots of Luna’s life that all work to creating a larger mosaic. It’s a style that could lead to a really disjointed, halting, unnatural story flow, yet here it works almost perfectly. Each slice is funny, sweet, a good little story in it’s own right, and the overall story connecting them leads to you quickly seeing Luna growing, changing, becoming better then she was. Without having to be bogged down with extraneous stuff. The story has exactly what it needs to get it’s point across well, while still being a well told story with a good flow. And no more. The writing style is rather simplistic, but in a good way. It’s direct, to the point. Utilitarian. It gets the job done well, and really works for this type of story.

Now onto the actual content. Again, it’s a really sweet, often hilarious story of Luna coming out of her shell. Of leaning to interact with ponies again. To connect to her subjects. All thanks to one little pony who thought she needed a friend.

Another point in this story’s favor is the way it manages to bring up so many topics, so many ideas that aren’t really touched on in the show, and yet are ones that are logically there. Like the issues the Sisters face when connecting to other ponies. Of knowing they will outlive anypony they grow close to. Each Sister’s answer to that making sense, and fully fitting with their character. Or Celestia sending the mane 6 on dangerous missions alone (Like the one in Dragonshy.) Yes she could deal with it easily on her own. But that’s not her way. She’d rather teach her ponies to help themselves, rather then have them rely on her. But she was watching over them the whole time, ready to step in if they truly needed her help. How Celestia’s real reason for giving Twilight the ‘assignment’ in Ponyville, making her write reports, and treating it like a mission, was for Twi’s benefit. Knowing it would make her student take this more seriously and give it her all.

While simply bringing up things like these is good in itself, the story does so in a really good way. Like the rest, it’s short, quick. Addressed just as much as it needs to be, then left alone. And yet the way it’s done feels so natural. It never feels forced, or like it was tacked on. It feels like The Sisters simply bringing up facts of who they are. It just takes these things as a basic fact of life. Something they deal with, accept, and doesn’t feel the need to extrapolate more. While still making the point clear.

One last extremely high point to the story, is the humor. It manages to do all this, be touching, heartwarming, moving, bring up all these topics. All while being utterly hilarious. And yet, never to an absurd degree. The humor too flows naturally. Never feels forced.(Any story that involves a prank war between demigoddesses, were just the opening volley includes unleashing the sanity rending eldritch horror that is Pinkie Pie, cannot be anything other then awesomely hilarious.)

Characters: As is fitting for a story that keeps things as simple as possible, there really aren’t many characters. Just Celestia, Luna, and Sugar Heart.

The Sisters, already addressed somewhat. Both of them were fairly well done. Different, and with enough there to understand them. Luna’s gradual change felt natural, and the story managed to make you genuinely happy to see her opening up, being happy, connecting to another pony. And one point that really stands out as defining the characters, on how they are different, what sets the two of them apart, is the above mentioned scene of them talking about the issue of outliving anypony they grow attached to. To start, for how short and simple it was, that scene was incredibly touching and powerful. But the different views on it were great. Tia accepting this fact, knowing everypony she grows close to will one day cause her the pain and grief of losing them. But focusing instead on the joy she’ll have while she has them with her. Luna taking the pain harder, having trouble seeing past that end result. With the added explanation that this is partially due to her simply having a harder time connecting to ponies then Tia, and so each one means a bit more. The loss hits that much harder. It is a really powerful, and deep look at some fundamental differences between the two Alicorns. All told so directly and simply. It’s a rather beautiful scene.

Beyond that, they are fairly standard early show Luna and Celestia. Well done, nothing the stands out to much. But enough to have their own unique feel from just a basic template. While still being close enough to the standard to be easily recognizable and relatable. And you could feel how much they care about each other. Their bond with each other. (Though one note, when Tia made a “To the MOON!” joke, ehhh didn’t care much for it. Yeah it was a joke, and Luna took it as one and wasn't offended. But to me, just felt in poor taste for her to joke about something like that so soon.)

Now, the third one, Sugar Heart. I liked her, she was a nice, kind, slightly mischievous pony that just wanted to help. That saw another pony that was lonely, in pain, and just wanted to help her smile. All in a kind of understated way. And yet, the story never tries to build her up as this great thing. As somepony who is perfect for Luna, who is her bestest best friend ever because she is so awesomzer!! It never feels forced, or like she’s super special. She always feels like a regular, ordinary pony. Just in the right place at the right time. And her and Luna’s relationship felt very natural. You could see it growing over time. And how large an impact it was having on Luna.

I also like that while she was clearly concerned about Luna, saw she was hurting, lonely, it was made clear why she alone of the ponies other then Celestia seemed to pick up on that. (Having a relative of a similar, read artistic, personality, so knowing the signs.) And that It still took both time, and some direct encouragement from Celestia before she even tried to get closer to Luna. It helped things feel more natural. And then seeing how they slowly, over time grew closer and closer. Then there is the ending but, well spoiler.

If there is one issue I have with the rather quick, direct, style, and short overall length of the story, it’s not getting to see more of Luna and Sugar Heart just, hanging out, just, talking, doing things. Just being together. Because they were always such sweet, touching scenes I just wanted more. (Shotoman, sequel, we need one. Preferably with the two of them being joined by Tiberius. Because Tiberius is awesome.)

Engagement: Fairly high. It’s a short, simply told story and so really easy to get through. The prose is direct, doesn't require a lot of effort to connect with or get through. And the story is good at keeping the mood always in flux. Deeper, more emotional moments, smaller, still tender bits, or just utter hilarity. Even a few bits of suspense for later events thrown in. All flowing well one to the other. Leading to a story you’ll be finished with before you realize it, and wanting more.

Ponyness: Again, really well done in this regard. As above, the story touched on a number of topics that are there, but not addressed by the show. Even if some are just fanon, it’s fanon that makes sense and fits with what we do know. Tia and Luna felt in character, while still having their own little unique voice and feel for the story. And Sugar Heart felt like a pony who would fit in perfectly with the rest of the ponies. And the usage of the actions of the Mane 6 as background events. Celestia talking about the latest letter, or reflecting on something coming up. Using them as little touchstones to keep things connected, and make clear the passage of time was a really well done bit for the story. This felt like it really could be what was going on during season 1.

(Note: After the initial review was written, the author of the story went back and rewrote part of it, taking the criticisms the review brought up into account. Originally the issues with the climax knocked the story down to a rating of “Good”. After, it got the rating it has now.)

Overall: Great. Yes, might seem off given how much I praised this, and how few flaws I found, that it would just get “Great”. While everything was pretty well done. That simple, direct, minimalistic approach to the story… while working well, did keep it from reaching the heights it might if it had a bit more meat to it. It was at once both a strength, and a weakness for the story. I do think it worked well for what the story was trying to do, and I loved reading it. But at the same time, it never really let things build. It kept them from really getting above that. Limited just how well it could grab your emotions. Or how much it explored topics. None of which I count in any way as flaws, but do have to admit they do limit the story in some ways.

But overall a decent, well done little short story with a lot of heart, feelings, and laughs that is well worth the time it takes to check it out. And with the rewrite of the finale, is even better, and well well worth a second read if you haven’t done so in awhile.

SPOILERS BELOW!

As usual, this issue is about the ending, and so a major spoiler. Do not go further if you do not want those spoilers, or unless you have already read the story.

(This part is in regards to the rewritten portion of the story only.)

The change to the ending was a huge improvement. Even more then I thought it would be. With the new way it progresses, it actually feels like a good, satisfying climax. A conclusion to the whole story, as well as being a natural result of the growth the characters, and the story had shown. We see just how much Luna’s friendship to Sugar Heart means to her. How deep her feelings for the mare run. (Not like that). reminded just how much every pony she’s managed to think of as a friend means, how special every one of them was to her. With Sugar Heart being no different. Her pain, her doubt, how much she hated seeing Sugar Heart in pain, sick, suffering and unable to do anything to help.

As with the original ending, how Luna handled Sugar heart’s Discording was one of the more stand out parts. Never being upset at the mare. knowing the whole time what was going on. Making clear this wasn’t Sugar Heart’s choice. Never taking offense or being hurt by what her friend says. Knowing this isn’t her. That all of this is the result of Discord. Not treating it like her friend betraying her, like Twi did (Not blaming Twi in this, she wasn’t aware of what Discord could do the way Luna was.) But rather treating it like her friend is simply ill. Is suffering from some sickness. Some condition that is in no way her fault. Feeling only sadness, worry, being scared for Sugar Heart. And mad at nopony but herself, for not being able to do more. For not being able to make it all better. Her pain reaching through Discord’s magic to the core of who Sugar Heart is. Reminding her what Luna meant to her. What it was that drove her to seek to befriend the Princess of the Night in the first place. Just, an altogether beautiful scene.

And then, on top of that, that action, seeing Sugar Heart break through Discord’s control at that. Seeing how easily even his worst mind games can be defeated with just the right reminder of who a pony is. What their friends mean to them… Now, to be completely fair I do have to admit, I could see someone having an issue with it being Luna’s idea, no Celestia’s to send the letters back to Twi. Simply because it alters part of the meaning of the scene in the show. That it was Tia outwitting Discord. But really, while I could see why someone might have that issue. I certainly don’t share it. For one, Tia was still involved. it was still her the pushed Luna to try and reach through to Sugar heart. This wasn’t saying some new super special OC was really the one behind everything. Just shifted some of it from one Princess to another, in a very well done way.

Secondly. because while it might, might alter that part of the episode. It makes the real point of it, the important part, all the stronger. The mane 6′s friendship saved Equestria. But so did the friendship between Sugar Heart and Luna. It reinforces that it wasn’t because the Mane 6 are the Mane 6, the heroes, that their friendship matters. it’s because of just how powerful the magic of friendship is. Period. it shows, any friendship can and does matter. Is a very amazing, and well done example of everything the show, at it’s core, stands for.

(Under here is the original critique of the ending for comparison’s sake.)

Okay, the one major issue with the story, that was the final point which tipped the scales down to “Good” is the way the climax was handled. Most of it was great. The battle with Discord. (Oh and didn’t mention him as a character because, spoiler. Also because.. eh nothing to really say. He was Discord. Well done, felt like him, but nothing all that stand out beyond the awesomeness that is inherent to being Discord.) But the very end. Tia sending the friendship letter back to Twilight, and Luna breaking Sugar Heart free of her Discording.

It felt... rather flat. The one bit that felt, kind of tacked on. It was.. to emotionless. Yeah it was clear Luna was emotional, but it wasn’t conveyed well. The whole thing went to quick, the one spot the story felt rushed. And the idea to send Twi the scrolls, likewise it felt, quick, pat, a bit to direct. Like it was simply what the story needed to happen, rather then flowing well and naturally from it. It did work logically, but it just felt.. a tad hollow.

And as with so many points where one little thing makes a big issue, this is also because it would be so easy to fix with just two changes. First, make the act of un-discording Sugar Heart mean more. Have Luna’s emotions more clear, give it more weight. Make it matter. Actually give it some emotional torque. And second, have it come before they sent the scrolls. Have that be what inspired the Sisters to send Twilight her letters back, to remind her what her friendships means to her.

Doing that, it would have added a major improvement to the story. Given Luna’s friendship that much more weight, given it a much deeper importance. It was this friendship that saved Equestria, just as much as the ones between the Mane 6. It would have put so many themes into play, added so much meaning to the entire story. Given it enough weight to make it a much better, and higher ranked story. But as is, it’s easily the least good part of the story, and one that kind of brings down the rest by having such a meh ending.

Oh one final note since this is spoilers. I DO like how Luna reacted to Discorded Sugar Heart overall. She knew she was only acting like this because Discord brainwashed her. She didn’t get upset at Sugar Heart, she wasn’t broken by it. She knew her friend was still their. Knew she wasn’t abandoning her. Took none of her anger out on Sugar Heart. Yeah I do love how mature and intelligent she was about it overall.

Huh, this ended on a bit of a downer.... Here, have a happy season 1 Luna dancing on the moon and enjoying some moon pies.