Recreating my Character Profile of Sentinel. What do you think?

Sentinel 'Noteworth' Quill
Physical Traits –
Race: Unicorn
Eyes: Blue, bright as the skies.
Hair: Dark red. Maroon. Slightly Long and messy. Has two grey stripes of different shades, one darker than the other.
Skin: Orange, the darkest hue of a sunset.
Height: 4' 7''
Build: Lean but strong like a swimmer's build.
Age: 17
Cutie Mark: A bright, white, glowing orb flanked by two crystal shield, one on each side. One the shields is an icon of a feathery quill.
Attractiveness: Decently handsome, but not too eye-catching. When people look at him, he seems to be too nice to date, but not nice in a creepy way. People would rather like to be friends with him before they entertain the thought of dating him. That is, if they're interested anyway. He's cute, but not date-worthy cute. The grey stripes in his hair make him look older and more mature than he seems, along with his glasses.

History –
Where did you grow up, Sentinel?
I grew up in the town of Halcyon, a 'quiet' town nestled between Shimmerwood forest and the Archback river, mostly consisting equine and sheep citizens and some gryphons. I say 'quiet' in sarcasm cause my generation is kind of a rowdy bunch, although none more than me! I love to mess around! But anyway, Halcyon is a charming little town, and there's some great stuff to do here. Once a year in the summer, in the week of the Summer Sun Celebration (or the Summer Solstice in some other countries), we hold a special event called the Iron Hooves Rally that lasts – you guessed it – the entire week. In the Winter Solstice, around the week of Hearth's Warming Eve, Halcyon Advanced School's Drama Club hosts a lot of shows at the town's public theater. Mostly dramatizations of the historic events of Amalga, and other classic holiday stories.

Can you tell me more about the Rally?
The Rally hosts a collection of various competitions where it tests a person's skill to the max. The variety of the contests changes every year. Sometimes there is a Baking Contest, the Logging Contest, the Boat Races, the Hay Bale Toss, Logrolling, Swimmer's Race, the Log Carving contest (there's a lot of contests about logs), but the one that has always stuck around is the Shimmerwood Run.
It's a combination of a scavenger hunt and race against time that takes place in the Shimmerwood forest, starting from a platform on its outskirt. The only requirement you need to have to participate is to have a backpack or something like that. Reason why is that in the forest, there are a bunch of unique items you must grab for points, each of them valuing at different amounts. You can grab as many as you want, but you can't hold them all and expect to be nimble. Whatever bag or backpack you have with you, that's the only one you can have to store stuff. The most prized of these items is a golden replica of the Halcyon Horn, a horn of the great ram hero of the same name, which is worth 150 points. But be wary that you do not lose the Horn, or some other player may steal it from you.
You see, each player of the game must wear a flag football belt, each starting with two flags. If a player happens to capture one of your flags, they are allowed to steal one item from your inventory. However they must also wear the flag they captured from you around their own belt. The least amount of times you can be stolen from is twice. Steal often and you’ll potentially be stolen from more. You are not allowed to tear your own flag off and hide it away as there are there are special sensors on the flags that must be exposed to plenty of air at all times. If not, you will receive one point deduction for each second the flag is not out. You can’t leave your flags somewhere on the forest floor either as there will be people making sure that all the flags are back by the end of the game.
The time limit is an hour and the players must return to the beginning platform before time runs out or the total amount of points they would have earned is deducted by 1/4th. The prizes vary each year, but they’re always great to have. Last year, the grand prize was a flying sky yacht.

Could you tell me something about Halcyon Horn the Ram Hero?
It was said that Halcyon Horn has two great, curled golden horns that exhibits a calming aura around him. He was a warrior, but was rather passive and like to use means other than violence to resolve fights. However that passiveness was what got his right horn cut off in a fight with Sabron, the Sword-Tailed Viper Windigo and Foal Eater. However he managed to quell the terrible great snake of Shimmerwoods by making the detached horn into a makeshift instrument, transforming its calming powers into its music and placed the serpent into deep sleep. He had saved the town of Halcyon and thus why it was named after him.

How about Almaga?
Almaga is a country that used to be the land of the Three Pony Tribes that long existed before Equestria. Despite Equestria’s creation, some ponies wanted to return back to their old homelands but couldn’t due to the heavy presence of Windigoes that plagued the area. They were causing problems for other countries as well, mainly the land of the sheeps and gryphons. In a joint effort to rid the Windigo invaders, the three nations of Equestria, Gildedale, and the Griffin Kingdoms combined their forces to drive away the winter demons. We’ve also had some help from the roaming Minotaur nomads that lived around the edges of Almaga, and the reason why our country is named ‘Almaga’ is because it is the prefix of the word ‘amalgamate’, a verb meaning to “mix, merge, or unite”. I think it’s a pretty good name, considering our country’s history and that our population is a mixing bowl of many races. Our nation mainly has sheeps, gryphons, minotaurs, and ponies living here, and it’s not unheard of to have other races living here as well. It’s a pretty nice country too.

It's a work in progress.
By the way if you haven't noticed, I am indeed rewriting the background history of 'Magistrum'. It wasn't exactly fitting for a nation supposedly made up of many species/races. I mean, not all creatures are magical. Is the nation only catering to magical creatures like Unicorns? No of course not, thus Almaga.
If you guys want a map reference, you can find it here.