Critique Review: Humans, Rainbows, and Diamonds. · 6:21pm Feb 18th, 2015
Hello, everypony. I am the Critique.
And welcome to another day in the month of love.
And as always, we look at romance fan fictions that think they are cleverer than they actually are. This one gives us not one, but two ponies to choose from for our main character. Who I’m sure is just as likable as any other human character I’ve read about.
I’m sure the story is under the belief that if one pony falling for an OC is overdone, the key to fixing it is multiple ponies falling in love with an OC. Oh, yeah, it’s not quality, its quantity.
Actually, there is a secret third option that very few know about. It’s called, not reading the fucking thing and reading something better.
That’s the smart option. Unfortunately, today I get to read and review it. This is Humans, Rainbows, and Diamonds by RariDashFan
It was a glorious day in Ponyville, as usual.
It was a terrible fan fiction for me, as usual.
So, as you can probably guess, it just a perfect day in Ponyville with nothing going wrong what-so-ever. A very poor way to start your story, since you are trying to draw interest and a beautiful day in Ponyville! Sorry, it is not interesting!
The sun was at an almost blinding brightness, as Martin discovered as he stepped out from the Day Spa after a long day at work.
Wait… Martin… As in… Prince… Martin…
No… Leave me alone… Leave me alone!
WHY?! WHY?! WHYYYYYYYYY?!
*Three hours later*
… Okay… I’m good…
Actually, this is a different Martin. Though by the end, you probably won’t be able to tell. He’s a human who is trapped in Equestria, befriends the main six and gets a job at a Day Spa. Now, if I were in charge of Equestria, I would most likely take him in for experimentation and dissection. Now that would be a story worth reading.
And of course, because Martin has hands, he is invaluable. Because hands trump magic every time! Suck on that, unicorns!
So, Martin starts to head home after a long day’s work when he is tackled to the ground by Rainbow Dash.
“What the hell, Rainbow!?” replied Martin, semi-angrily. “You could’ve got my attention some other way!”
Semi-angrily? What the hell, story?! You could’ve said that some other way!
I love how this story is setting up my jokes for me.
Rainbow Dash invites Martin to the park and after a little coercing, he agrees.
“Woo! You’re the best friend ever!” Rainbow remarked, pulling Martin into a hug. After realizing this, she then let go and a light blush glazed over her cheeks.
Well, at least this story took the time to establish a strong relationship between the two. Oh, wait… This is Martin. All this story is to him is sex, sex, sex, sex, sex, sex, sex, sex, sex… Did I mention sex?
So, Rainbow Dash and Martin get to the park where Rainbow Dash starts showing off her ‘impressive’ flying techniques. Not that we ever see those, because I guess the story didn’t care enough. But apparently it would make the Wonderbolts applaud. Did she do this?
Because I would be applauding that.
During one of Rainbow Dash’s tricks, she gets caught off trajectory by the wind and she crashes into the ground.
Told you I would.
Martin goes to check on her and Rainbow Dash says she’s fine.
“Yeah, I’m fine...damn wind caught me off guard and put my trajectory off. Kinda fucked that one up…” Rainbow replied, managing a weak smile. Martin found it kind of funny that she picked up on some of his foul language which he had uttered in the past. Not exactly good, but funny.
Well, thanks for that!
Again, this is my personal opinion here, but the main six should not be using the more colorful words in the English language! I am willing to make an exception for Rainbow Dash and Applejack and only with a few sample words. Damn and hell are my limits with those two! Certainly not fuck!
By the way, Rainbow Dash swears in this. I couldn’t come up with some actual humor, so instead I just made Rainbow Dash swear. Jesus, I think my brain is melting out of my skull…
So, after that, Rainbow Dash appears to be dusty and they go over to the lake to wash off.
“Sure, I could do with a dip myself.” replied Martin.
Now, I want you to remember that. Don’t worry; it won’t be for very long.
So, they get to the lake where Rainbow Dash dives right in and starts to swim around. She offers Martin to join her.
“I don’t really know if I want to…” Martin replied, hesitantly. “I’d rather not change out of my clothes.”
Then what the fuck was with that last line, you idiot?! “Sure, I could use a dip myself.” “Nah, I don’t want to get wet.” MAKE UP YOUR FUCKING MIND, YOU MORON!
But, Rainbow Dash isn’t taking no for an answer.
“Who said anything about changing?” Rainbow retorted, trying to hold a laugh, before using her immense speed to get behind Martin and push him into the water, before laughing loudly at the soaked-through human.
That’s right, Rainbow Dash! Drown him! Drown the fucker!
“Rainbow! What the fuck!? My clothes are all soakened and ruined now!” exclaimed Martin, obviously angry with what his pony friend had just done.
Obviously, he must be angry! The story said so! The story said that he was angry! So, he must be angry! IT’S NOT LIKE THE FUCKING CHARACTER’S SPEECH WOULD DO THAT! OR HIS BODY LANGUAGE! NO! THANK GOD THE FUCKING STORY TOLD ME HE WAS ANGRY!
By the way, if you couldn’t tell by now, I’m obviously angry at that line!
“Jeez, I’m sorry.” said Rainbow in a sarcastic tone. “But hey, at least I cooled you off from the heat, huh?” Martin couldn’t argue with that, the heat was certainly unrelenting, and the cool waters of the lake were welcoming at this point. Martin soon found his anger disappearing, and he started to relax, letting the cool water drift over him.
Sure, this is a $200 work outfit that cannot get wet under any circumstances or it gets ruined and it will take half of my paycheck to cover therefor putting me in financial difficulty because of somepony’s carelessness. But… at least, I’ll be cool for the rest of the day…
So, as he starts to relax in the water, Rainbow Dash declares a splash fight with him. After their ‘romantic afternoon’ together, yeah, about as romantic as ordering Chinese takeout for one, they decide to head home for the night.
“Wow, it’s getting late.” Martin exclaimed, looking at the setting sun. “I really need to get home, I have work again tomorrow!”
It’s a good thing I’ve got a work uniform… Oh…
He heads home with Rainbow Dash darting off rather suddenly. He doesn’t give it much thought however, thankfully our protagonist is a bit on the stupid side.
Not that he really had to, as his house was one of the biggest in the village, down to the fact that everything had to be made for a human, rather than a pony.
Down to the fact that he’s clearly compensating for something.
The next day, Martin wakes up in his room and starts to admire it for a bit. Trust me, it’s hardly as exciting as it sounds.
“Mmmm, them’s some good oats.” Martin said to himself, putting on a strange, yet comical voice.
… Was that supposed to be funny? Also, who the hell are you talking to? … Can you… see me?!
After finishing, Martin then put the bowl in the sink and went upstairs to have a shower, after which he repeated the same bathroom ritual which he had done the previous night, before getting changed into smart clothes for work.
Fucking run-on sentences. They are truly the bane of my existence.
Also, smart clothes?! Do you have any idea what those are?! If you do, then why the hell do you need a suit that can play Zoot Suit Riot by The Cherry Popping Daddies to work?! … And where the hell did Equestria get the technology to make them?! Did you have it with you when you were coming to Equestria, along with any other convenient thing you might need?!
After breakfast, he goes over to Rainbow Dash’s to try and talk to her. However, Rainbow Dash isn’t home. Well, that was a waste of a scene.
It was another long day at work for Martin. There was an issue with a group of ponies who believed they had been overcharged. “Who’d have thought ponies would get so angry over a couple of bits…”
Dude, people get so angry over a couple of dollars! It’s really not that difficult to swallow! Also, great job showing us that scene! Maybe they didn’t feel like they were overcharged, maybe they felt their service was just shit. I wouldn’t know because I wasn’t shown anything!
After work, which is literally the next sentence, he starts to wander around Ponyville to try and find Rainbow Dash, but can’t seem to find her anywhere.
“What if she’s been kidnapped, or she’s in danger?” Martin bolted upright, with a worried expression on his face. “No, don’t be stupid, Martin. She’s not here one time and you assume she’s in danger. Wow, you’re stupid at times.” “Shut up, brain.” Martin retorted to himself.
A very clear sign that our hero is mentally insane. I’m not surprised. Living in a world of multicolored ponies does that to you. Just look at bronies.
Jeez, it was a joke!
The walk home was somewhat depressing without Rainbow.
Oh, please! Would you get over her?! Clearly, she isn’t into you! … Wait… She’s totally into him! But she’s just a friend to him?! … Oh… That’s right… This is fan fiction.
Oh, I have something to say on that too…
GET THE HELL OVER HER?!
But of course, since he is so fucking desperate, he continues looking for Rainbow Dash, while feeling sorry for himself.
He didn’t realize how much of an impact Rainbow had on his life. The happiness she brought to him, the fact that there was someone he could confide in.
… Hm… Oh, I’m sorry, I was so not invested in what you were saying, I was reading a completely different story. It’s a story where Pinkie Pie accidently brings her kitchen to life while trying to bake a cake and she must fight it off in a comedic fashion. Easy as Pie by xjuggernautx. Give it a read.
Yeah, starting to see the big problem here? We hardly know who Martin is and we don’t know enough about his relationship with Rainbow Dash in this story. We see them playing in the park, yeah, but the way I remember it, Rainbow Dash ruined his suit due to her selfishness. I don’t think that qualifies as love.
If they do have a strong relationship, we never see that. If he does make him happy in a way that changes his life, we never see that. If he confides in Rainbow Dash, what does he confide? What does he tell her that he tells nopony eles?! Why is Rainbow Dash so special?! What makes her special?!
Tell me!
“No, you’re being stupid!” Martin thought to himself, trying to disprove his thoughts.
The first sensible thing said in this story. I think I’ve got a dog treat around here somewhere.
However, Martin doesn’t buy it, even if the audience wished he did, and proclaims his love for Rainbow Dash. But he isn’t sure if Rainbow Dash is in love with him. Don’t worry, kid, it’s fan fiction. Of course she’s into you! She wants to fuck your brains out so hard! Frankly, so do I! With a pike!
Martin figures that the best way to know if Rainbow Dash is in love with him is to go talk to Pinkie Pie. He makes his way to Sugar Cube Corner where he asks Pinkie Pie if Rainbow Dash likes him.
Pinkie Pie does her lucky guess thing from Equestria Girls and Martin is baffled at what to do.
Martin tries to talk to Pinkie Pie, but Pinkie has a little trouble staying on topic. Pfft, stupid pink pony. Can’t even stay focused on something long enough to…
Oh, hey look a bird! Isn’t just the cutest little thing you’ve ever seen? Such a cute bird. Love birds. Birds are great.
… What was I talking about?
“By the way, Martin, I really hope she does like you too. You two would make a super cute couple!” Pinkie joyfully said in her usual bright tone.
Not if I have anything to say about it!
“You don’t need to pay for one tiny cupcake, silly. You’re my friend!” Pinkie beamed.
And then, because of Pinkie Pie’s over friendly nature, she gives everyone in Ponyville free cupcakes. Several friends hear about it and take advantage of it to get free food, which eventually causes Sugar Cube Corner to go under, forcing the Cake family to live on the streets and Pinkie Pie back to the rock farm.
When can I read that story?! Because it sounds far more interesting than this!
When he gets home, he decides that the best thing for him to do is to not think about Rainbow Dash for a while. So, what does he do? He reads a book that Rainbow Dash gave to him! Oh, yeah. Nothing like not thinking about your love by thinking… about … your … love?
… Think something got lost in the translation.
“No, you’re being stupid!” Martin thought to himself.
Can’t argue there.
The next morning, Martin decides that he is going to tell everyone that he is in love with Rainbow Dash. He marches over to his home, picks up some flowers, a box of chocolates, somehow gets to her front door and knocks on it. Rainbow Dash opens the door and smiles at him. When suddenly…
Oh, I live for other people’s misery!
Actually, we’re not that far off. A pony named Ace Thunder appears and Rainbow Dash calls him her new boyfriend.
“So this is the human you keep talking about?” Ace said, in a cocky tone. “He doesn’t look as cool as you said, but whatever. Come on, Dash, we’ve gotta get training for the Grand Equestria Race.”
Hey, that is a big misrepresentation of Ace Thunder! Ace was one of the best Pegasi who ever lived! He deserves your respect, asshole! And out of respect for Ace Thunder, I’m renaming this character the Critique! … Mostly so I can claim I porked Rainbow Dash, but still!
Ace: Yes. I am just the one-dimensional villain who was made for the convenience of the plot to make sure you look good by comparison. Mwahahahahahaha. Oh, I am so diabolically bland.
And I’ll give one point to this story; it does make Martin do this.
Again, I live for the misery of others.
Martin runs through the streets of Ponyville, whining that ‘Rainbow Dash doesn’t wuve me! She wuves that other pony that’s not me! I’m in wuve with Rainbow Dash! Wah Wah Wah!’
During his tantrum, he runs into a shopping cart and ruins several items from the cart. What sort of items do you ask? Pfft, what a stupid question to ask. Don’t you know? How stupid can you clearly be! Not knowing what items the trader possesses…
Yeah, the story never says.
Anyway, the pony charges his 10 bits… What the fuck was the dude trading if all he did by running into a cart was do 10 bits worth of damage! Did he ruin 10 cherries or something?!
He ends up seeing a bracelet that he thinks Rainbow Dash would love and hopes that it will win her over.
He goes to Sugar Cube Corner for advice from Pinkie Pie again, but only finds Rarity there. So, he instead opts to talk to her about it.
Rarity had always been a good friend to Martin, taking the time to study the human body, just to design clothes for Martin, and asking for nothing or very little in return.
Because of course she would. She doesn’t have a business to run or anything like that.
Also, studying the human body?... Oh, god… Does that mean?!
… She’ll never be rid of that image… Will she? I’m sorry, Rarity. I’m so sorry. You’ve… been scarred… Scarred for life…
Martin explains that he is in love with Rainbow Dash and Rarity seems to take that pretty well.
“Oh.” She said, no reaction, no shock, just “Oh.”
You know, Rarity, I’m pouring my soul out here. You… You think you could give me something else to work with?
“Oh.” She said, no reaction, no shock, just “Oh.”
Okay. Let’s play a game. Let’s see what other situations we can milk out of this.
Ready?
GO!
Rarity, I hate your guts and everything about you!
“Oh.” She said, no reaction, no shock, just “Oh.”
Rarity, it's Sweetie Belle! She's been murdered!
“Oh.” She said, no reaction, no shock, just “Oh.”
You look fabulous, Rarity! Like the most beautiful thing I've ever seen!
“Oh.” She said, no reaction, no shock, just “Oh.”
Could you have some kind of reaction, you stupid bitch?!
“Oh.” She said, no reaction, no shock, just “Oh.”
Feel free to make your own in the comments section.
“Well…” Martin found it hard to keep himself composed. All he could remember was seeing the colt Ace Thunder, with that smile on his damn face. Oh, how he’d like to remove it.
What the hell did the Critique ever do to you? I mean, besides pork your only love? And review your piece of shit fan fiction? And tell you your story sucks? And murdered your cat? And eat your pet goldfish?
You know, besides that.
In all seriousness, what the fuck? We don’t know anything about the Critique. He has only had one line! I guess it could be Martin’s having an episode of grief, but it never mentions Martin being wrong! If anything, it glorifies him!
Now, some of you might be saying “Well, clearly The Critique is a jerk!” Look, even if that was a good idea, (which of course it isn’t) again, we only see one scene! He has only one line! He is barely in this story at all! He doesn’t do anything! This character is just a tool! A tool to get you to feel bad for the character the author wants you to feel bad for, instead of just telling a good story!
This makes Martin look like a jealous psychopath! He doesn’t look like the victim! He looks like someone who can’t respect the choice that Rainbow Dash made! That’s not love! That’s obsession! And yes, there is a fucking difference!
So, Martin finally tells Rarity about Rainbow Dash’s other guy, all while singing that song by Simple Plan about how this could have happened to him. Come to think of it, why do so many people like that song?
Rarity starts freaking out that Rainbow Dash is in danger because the Critique is evil. How?
Well, here’s Rarity’s argument.
“Ace Thunder is a competitive racer. A rising star in the racing world. He promised me that he’d wear my newest range of pegasus racing gear in one of his biggest races, and endorse my boutique. As soon as I handed over the gear, I never heard from him again. It took me months to perfectly design the most aerodynamic racing outfit, and even longer to make it. Then, in one fell swoop, gone.
Um… Rarity… love… This might be a stupid question, but … Did you ever try to contact him?
… Yeah, kind of a big deal, love?
Rarity never says she tried to contact him! She never says that she put any effort into ensuring that he held up his end of the bargain! How is it that so many ponies in this world are so stupid?!
Call him up! Clearly you’ve got the technology if Martin has an iPod in his clothes!
Write him a letter! Fuck, do something girlfriend!
But no, he has to come off as ‘so evil’ and ‘so diabloical’ that it is completely ludicrous! I swear, it’s at this point in the story that the writer just didn’t care.
Oh, but wait… there’s more!
Take a look at this!
“About a year ago, there was a scandal involving Ace Thunder. It was a few days before the Grand Equestria Race, and a young mare named Star Breeze was predicted to win the race. She was a relatively new racer, just like Rainbow, but she was talented. It was announced that Ace and Star were dating a few days before the race. On the day of the race, Star Breeze was way off her usual performances. She finished second to last, while Ace Thunder won, and took the prizes and the fame, and left Star Breeze shortly after.
Okay… So, Rarity just found out that Rainbow Dash is dating this scumbag? … Okay… Fine… Unrealistic… Uninteresting … Unlikely, but fine… What are you going to do about it?
“I agree, but we shouldn’t rush into this. We need to plan this properly.” Rarity added.
… Why? Why would you need to plan this? What is there to plan?! Go talk to her!
If she is in a bad relationship, I think the friendly thing to do would be to talk to her and get her to see that this relationship might be bad for her! That’s what friends do!
What? Do you think that Rainbow Dash won’t listen because she is so ‘madly in love’ with the Critique?
…
Okay, totally legit, but what the hell?!
They go to Martin’s house to ‘think of a plan’ and here’s the best they can do.
“Martin, darling, I know how much this means to you, but we’ve been at this all night, and we’ve no ideas to show for it.
The fuck have you two been… You know what, I don’t care.
So, Martin decides to walk Rarity home and they run into Rainbow Dash. After a bit, Martin snaps at Rainbow Dash telling her that her boyfriend is out to cheat on her. Rainbow Dash reacts accordingly.
“How...DARE YOU!” She angrily shouted in response. “Is this your idea of a sick joke!? ‘Cos it isn’t very funny!”
That’s my little Dashie. No shovel for you tonight.
And then Rainbow Dash realizes the story she is in and tells Martin to never show his face to her again. Rainbow Dash, I knew you were the girl for me the whole time.
…
What’s your problem?
Nothing, sir.
Good.
So, Martin goes to a bar to drown his sorrows. I know I’d be drinking if I was the main character of this story. While he’s there he gets into a drinking competition with the one of the patrons, which of course, he wins.
Wouldn’t want to let him be beat by anything less than his archrival?
After getting himself completely slammed, I know I am, he makes his way to Rarity’s where he starts to hit on her. Well, so much for the ‘one true love’ route.
Honestly, I think the alcohol has made this character more interesting. He should be a constant drunk.
He grabs Rarity rather fiercely and starts making out with her. Rarity gives the appropriate response.
“Oh, I can’t contain it any longer. I love you Martin. I always have.” Rarity passionately exclaimed. “Come with me, let’s take this a step further.” Rarity seductively whispered to Martin, before leading him to her bedroom.
… I’m starting to think I really need to get off the alcohol…
Anyway, he wakes up the next morning shocked at what he finds.
“Oh fuck,
Yep… That’s what you two did. Lucky as fuck bastard…
Martin gets into a conflict with himself over staying with Rarity, who he loves, or going to try to win Rainbow Dash.
Why should this even be an issue?! Martin loves Rarity! The story even admits it! So, why does this conflict even exist?! This should be the end of the story by now! Martin loves Rarity! The end!
But, no, we have to prolong this as much as possible! It’s the only way I can reach my quota of suffering!
Later that day, Martin goes home and finds a letter from Rainbow Dash, saying that the Critique lied to her and that he was only using her.
What?! You mean the guy who was so obviously the villain of this story… was the villain of the story?!
No way. No way. No fucking way! That’s just… holy shit!
So, he meets up with Rainbow Dash and Rainbow Dash apologizes for being an idiot. I’ll say you’re an idiot. Giving up the most handsome stallion in all of Equestria, for the emo with the digits. I think you had it made with me girl. But if you are satisfied with being hit by a rake every night, who am I to judge.
They make out for a minute before Rainbow Dash gets ready for her big race. I sure can’t wait to see where this goes. Hopefully down a hole where it can die.
So, Martin goes up and gets the best seat in the house because… Well, he’s Martin. I know there’s an actual excuse in the story, but let’s face it. That excuse could be completely taken out of the story and he would still find a way.
He watches Rainbow Dash in the race where the Critique attempts to beat her in every way we can think of.
How? Pfft, fuck if I know. The race is barely interesting since it doesn’t bother showing us any of it. As the race continues, in all four sentences about it, Rainbow Dash starts to think about Martin. Sure, why not?
She should’ve listened to Martin, she shouldn’t have been so stupid.
I’m trying to decide if this is the narrator talking or Martin belittling her. I wouldn’t be surprised at the latter at this point.
She realizes that no matter what she does against the Critique, he is always one step ahead of her. How? Well, while they were dating the Critique stole all her secrets of how she trains when she flies.
Oh and the best part is this line from earlier…
I woke up one morning to find all of my training journals ravaged and my personal training guides missing.
So, he got all this information from books and journals?! Are you fucking kidding me?! Look, I get it, training logs and guides can be a good backbone, but that’s not a replacement for actual training! You can’t just read about football and know how to do all the techniques without practicing them! This story never showed us the Critique had time to practice against Rainbow Dash! And even then, how could he know about Rainbow’s techniques if she never saw them?! How is it that he is able to counter them perfectly when he has no training in doing so or experience with her?!
Anyway, Rainbow Dash decides that the only way to win is to perform the Sonic Rainboom.
“For Martin…” Rainbow burst forward, leaving a multi-coloured trail behind her.
Because Martin will leave you if you lose this race! What a self-centered ass wipe!
So, Rainbow Dash wins the race, but passes out! She passes out?! She passes out?!
AHHHHHHHHHHHHH!
…
Yeah… that just happened…
The paramedics rush Rainbow Dash to the hospital. Again, she passes out guys! She totally passes out due to this! Thank god this isn’t the least bit insulting to a great character, otherwise, this might be insulting to a great character!
So, Rainbow Dash wakes up later and confesses to Martin that she loves her. And by love I mean, she realizes what story she is in and is trying to get it over with.
Way to take one for the team, Rainbow Dash. Your sacrifice will not be forgotten.
Rarity then enters the room to check on Rainbow Dash and they explain what happened. Martin looks like the big hero and he decides which mare he’s going to be with. And then we have a choice to make people… A choice to have Martin get with Rarity or Rainbow Dash.
And you know what… I want to see Martin get with the Critique. Because they had better chemistry than the other characters! This story sucks balls!
It’s a mess. A big mess of a story. The main character is uninteresting, the plot is beyond boring, its unbelievably rushed and it tries to give us this story about two girls for one guy without going into deep detail why it is that way.
I never felt that they had a strong relationship with Martin, no matter who the pony was. And the biggest piece of evidence of that was the last two chapters. The ones where you make a choice to have the mares. They are practically identical in every way, just with the names switched out.
If that is not a signal for not caring about the story, than I don’t know what is.
The Critique being in this story was a total waste of space since he never has any development other than what other characters tell us. He’s just a cliché. And an overdone and stupid one at that.
The romance isn’t good, the plot isn’t good, the main character isn’t good, there’s nothing good about this story.
Have a great day guys.
So, today's romance will be between a human, Rainbow Dash, and Rarity... fun stuff
So, half of the harem fics on the internet?
I second that option.
So you have told us. And I tend to agree.
Although I'm not one to talk much; Mare of Steel and God Empress of Ponykind both started out similar...
Martin looked around the countrysides and said "it's a good day to do what has to be done by me to help my brother defeat the enemys"
No, I might have missed that part.
In general I try to avoid ponies swearing at all, since a) it just feels wrong and 2) the show already has some different substitutes. At most, I had Celestia say "dammit" once, in a thought, because reasons.
... They have sex, don't they?
or... you could do that.
Unless they were some fancy designer brands, or something that you need to wash a specific way, a little water isn't going to hurt them.
Also, "soakened"? What the hell is "soakened"?
At least in one of my stories, they have something closer to an actual fight (actually a sparring match).
and let me guess; now is when they go to have sex?
Because good is dumb.
Also, author, good job at skipping over potentially interesting conflict.
Wow, he really is nuts.
Some of my characters have issues with realizing their feelings for one another, and yet they aren't nearly as dense as you are.
AND I SHALL NAME HIM MR. TWEETUMS!
Rom-com cliche #5: outside member ships the two leads.
Shoot me now.
Is that like your catch phrase? Are you the new Pokemon "Noyourbeinstupid"?
[insert your picture here]
Well... what a surprise.
Let's hope it isn't one of these situations...
And Martin wishes he was Bolin.
Merchant: MY CABBAGES!!!
This road goes nowhere, dude, GIVE UP ALREADY!
In context of the story, no. Outside we know quite a lot
I've got an idea. It's starts with "Go" and ends with "TALK TO RAINBOW!!!"
That moment when My Little Pony becomes 50 Shades of Grey... guh
FOR PONY!
Rainbow Dash... she who kicked a dragon in the face... she who performed the Sonic Rainboom three times without any signs of wear and tear... she who tanked smashing into a cliff several times... passes out after winning a race?!
...
Well, that story sucked. Maybe something better is in the near future?
oh, nice. More importantly, subtle. Especially compared to this story.
2808604
Most of the episode in the show start with an establishing shot of a nice day in Ponyville. I wouldn't worry about it.
i1084.photobucket.com/albums/j419/Fireemblemspider/Rainbowxcritique.png
... I didn't know you were dating, Dash!
You can both go to Hell!
Anyways, great review!
2829999 Oh, you know you liked it Dashie. Now, get in the kitchen and make me a sandwich!
Glad you enjoyed it.
2830263 Is this going to wind up as the Brony equivalent to the Spoony controversy?
2830276 I have no idea what that means.
2831520 It's a reference to an old controversy that centered around Channel Awesome producer Noah Antwiler, who during the filming of the movie "Suburban Nights", apparently yelled to one of the female producers (Obscurous Lupa) to quote, "Go back to the kitchen and make me a sandwich, bitch!". This of course created more tension between the producers, and now Noah is often called sexist by his critics.
Just an internet in-joke from me.
2832154 Interesting. I didn't know that. I'm going to have to look into that.