Just a random blog post to see who responds · 8:00am Dec 16th, 2014
Hey guys, been a while since I made a blog post
If you saw my comment on Prodigy, you'll know that I'm going through some personal trials right now. To be honest, I need some help and I think you guys could do that.
If it's not too much to ask, and I'm sorry that this really doesn't have anything to do with my stories, but I have a question I've been battling with
When you're down on your knees in the pouring rain, wishing you were asleep and that you'd just wake up, what gives you the courage to move on? What makes you feel strong when everyone and everything around you makes you feel weak? Right now I really don't feel that confident in myself and I don't really know how to get out of this hole.
This isn't just some kid bitching about depression because his mom took his iphone away, I'm like this because of some serious stuff that went down between me and my parents a few hours ago. They said some things that really hit me deep and if it was anybody else, I'd just shake it off, but it's my parents. It sounds a lot different coming from them.
Anyways, sorry if this comes off as just some guy bitching about his problems to get selfish attention views, but I promise you that it's not that. I don't usually ask for people's help in these situations but I've turned to so many people and they havent responded with anything helpful. I don't need views right now and I don't need thumbs up or favorites, I just need some advice.
If you don't really care and want to move on to reading stories, I don't blame you whatsoever and I completely understand, but if you want to help, I really need it right now.
Thanks for your time and I hope you're all having a wonderful day,
~CB91~
You're always going to care more about what the people closest to you have to say. On the flip side of that, they can be the ones who dismiss your feelings just as easily (think Twilight in Lesson Zero). If you had access to a therapist, I'd say go talk to them. It always helps to get an unbiased opinion.
Sorry, that's about the best advice I can give at 3 am.
Maybe there is something wrong with me but if my parents called and said they were dying I would say see you at the funeral. As for moving forward i just hold onto the fact that just as today was bad, tomorrow can be so much worse and just as today is amazing tomorrow can be so much better. I find solace in the fact that life will always be a mystery that I could just as easily wind up dead as I could win the lottery. I find life worth living and every moment I let the demons in me win is another moment I was kept from living life and worse kept from trying to make it better. I can understand that a person's words, especially those close to you, mean much but even when they have nothing nice to say i can always find a positive. when a bully would make fun of my weight I used that as encouragement to lose it, when they would just tease me about my height my grades my parents I reveled in it since they would need to envy me to even bother. Imagine what your parents said, was it true? is the issue really a problem? if you change it would you lose a piece of who you are and is it worth it lose that piece. Will losing that piece make you a better person or would losing that piece simply appease the third party.
When I was at my lowest point a some years ago. When even my parents bucked up for me and family cound't give me support anymore. I went away. Living in a foster home for half a decade. There I finaly found peace in myself. Peace and a goal in life. Currently I have worked myself pretty far up to that goal and I reestablished contact with my parents again.
Long story short. Try to make a solution, even when it looks like the worst. And look at the long term consequences. And make a goal in life. Follow that goal and dont give up on it.
Hope it helps.
Difficult to lend a helping hand when you don't know all the details. But it's clearly private, so I won't pry. And you've given me enough to work with anyway.
What keeps me going, you ask?
Well, personally, what keeps me going is a rather vicious drive of mine. See, I'm rather egotistical and, to an extent, self-centered. It's a flaw of mine. But strangely enough, I don't think I could live without it. Why? Because my drive, what keeps me up at night working for hours (like right now, editing for three different authors) is the need to better myself. It's the need to strive and become successful, more successful than those around me. I'm highly competitive. The moment I realized that, to me, life is really a competition between you and everyone else you're alive with, I began doing everything I could to be the best I could be at whatever I chose. Evidently, this drive of mine would be much weaker if I didn't have this selfish part of me: this part of me that thinks "I want that. I'm going to get it."; it would be much weaker if I didn't have this need to always become better than I was two minutes ago. Better than my currently not-as-good self.
Even in low times, I look to the future. Even when doors close, I look for open ones. Because I will not allow myself to be stopped. I will continue. Because I've got a world to be better than. And more importantly, I've got a "me" to be better than.
That's my drive. That's what's keeping me alive. That's where I get most of my everything from.
Hope that helps.
- AIP§
P.S.: Favorite quote: Blackjack's mantra from Spike in FOE:PH.
My..... *sighs* *hugs Canadian* my life has been terrible with my parents... I sometimes wish I had other parents and I thought a lot of calling dcf, now that I think about it. I should have called them...But what I did was take myself and trap it in my own little world... I shouldn't have done that became very lonely and anti life. I avoided everyone... *hugs a pillow tightly* life throws stuff at you... and it sucks... but.... I pushed myself out of that when i was really down with the opportunity to be better then them,I want to be a nice person don't care if i keep hearing nice guys finish last or some stupid thing like that... I want to stand up and protect others from becoming what i did. I want to make friends with those who are looked down at and keep looking for a better tomorrow even if some nights are hard. I want to find that better tomorrow. That day where the sun just shines...and a day where I'm away from my parents. I don't want to end up like them, so I took a lesson from them. As soon as I leave this home. I promises I will be better than them. *hugs you more* sorry if you don’t get any thing from this… Please be safe Canadian. And I need to go to schoolies now. But when I get home, if you want to talk more about it,im here. *hug hug hug*
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Still decent advice. An unbiased opinion is usually something good to consider. And I never would have thought of referencing Lesson Zero that way. *tips hat*
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Jaded optimistic. A "Don't much care. Hope for the best." stance. But that stance is excellent for introspection, seeing as your view of things is generally unbiased, and you likely won't be too affected by whatever you find.
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Although I agree, "Make a goal in life" is incredibly difficult. Most of the time, you find a goal. You discover something you're passionate about and stick to it. However, looking for a goal in life... that's a worthy quest. And I'm guessing what you actually meant.
2657102 Yea a Little grammar error
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Where?
Was it the capitals? Is that it?
You can't tell me there's an error, have me meticulously go over the text thrice and then not tell me where to look.
2657106 With the make a goal in life. I did ment to say search but I overlooked it.
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Ah, sorry. I thought you meant there was a mistake somewhere in my text.
My apologies.
Shall we delete these comments not to clutter up the comment box?
When I'm in a bad situation I turn to friends, that's pretty much all, I don't have bad situations often :/
I normally focus on the simple fact that tomorrow will come, and that no matter what life does, it cant truly take everything away from me no matter what others try to say.
Granted I too do not know what they said exactly but depending on the manner it was presented (in malice or pure critique or what have you) its something to either look at in more detail, or something to ignore if it means absolutely nothing. Remember that despite most things YOU forge your own path and YOU decide what you do next. Sometimes it might not be pleasant but if you look at the end-goal, you can make it through.
In that regard I will equate it to driving up a small hill/driveway covered in snow. If you focus on driving to the end and don't stop you will make it in time. If you break without good reason (like my mother tends to do) you will get stuck.
LIke some of the others, if you want to have a more thorough discussion, I am available.
I'm not really great with advice, but I'm a pretty good listener.
The biggest thing to remember is that you aren't alone, there are a lot of people here who care a lot. Without even having met you, people care. That is one of the great things about our fandom.
Think back to the fun you had at Bronycon!
Take some time and do something fun with someone, that's what I do.
If you ever need someone to talk to, you should still have my phone number. I'm always available to help a friend out!
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Thank you all for the advice and you have no clue how much I appreciate it. I just expected this blog to go empty for a week or two and then die XD
I apologize for being so vague, I wasn't quite all together last night so my words might not have been the most... Well formed.
The reason I'm struggling with my parents right now is because I just came out to them as bisexual, but the problem is that they're super hardcore orthodox evangelical christians. They obviously dont like it and they (both my mom and dad) took a lot of cheap shots at me last night that I couldn't defend myself from. Thank Luna I'm going into the navy soon so I wont have to deal with their shit anymore, but still. Even though they don't approve of what I am, I still feel sad that they can't because of their beliefs, and I can't just convince them otherwise when they've been christians for fifty some odd years, it's a little too late for open debate at this point for them lol.
I don't want to start a whole christian vs atheist or christian vs whatever fight or a gay rights movement post or anything like that, please don't do that, that's not the point im trying to make. You have a right to believe whatever you want but sometimes you have a choice, when you meet someone close to you who doesn't comply with your beliefs, to accept them or reject them. My parents definitely chose the latter last night and its a miracle they havent stripped my family name yet.
So yeah, that's what I was talking about. After having parents that have loved me for twenty three years, after last night, they act like they barely know me and that's harsh coming from a pair of parents that you thought loved you to death.
Anyways, sorry about all that and thank you all who wanted to help, it made me smile when I came on this morning and saw all the responses to my post with kind and supportive words. I can't express how grateful and thankful I am to have all of you
2657449
True parents will love their children no matter what (with the possible exception of those charged with murder or the like), regardless of race, creed, or bubble-gum flavor (yes I took that from Grissom/CSI).
Those who stop short after a 'bump in the road' without continuing afterwards however are not worthy of such a title. (It should be noted that it might take some time if they're going to recover, if at all.) but as the saying goes, the better of the two will always stick to their guns, and while they seemingly might not at this time love you, you should still love them. As the better person that is the only recourse.
I suggest you take some time to reflect on what I and the others have said and determine the best way to move forward. Sure the military will be a convenient out for you if things go horribly, inescapably wrong, but there is always hope for something better.
I sincerely hope that you have a good day however, and stay warm.
2657449
We would never leave you hanging!
If your parents can't accept who you are, it's kinda their loss...
Me, my mother, and two of my best friends have met you, and we all thought you were a great person.
You're kind, intelligent, and very polite. (Not to mention how well everyone here thinks you write)
What keeps me going is that, no matter how many people are against me, I have given some spark of entertainment to a small number of people, and those people would follow me to Helheim and back just to help me. You should know that we care for you no matter what happens, and if you have problems, we will support you. Even if it seems like the world is against you, it only takes a spark of courage and friendship to ignite the flames of resilience. We are fully behind you, so come to us if you ever need support.
Don't worry about sounding bitchy. If people truly care, they will listen anyway.
To answer your question, I'd say it's the desire for confidence and escape from a psychological black hole that gives me courage when people make me feel weak. I just think about the people I idolize (most of whom are dead) and think of the life that they gave to me, and live it as best as I can by indulging in the few things that make me happy. Hope this helps.
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Wow... thank you guys so much, I didn't expect this many people to respond at all and it really means a lot to me
2657835 it's not a problem. We all care for you.
2657449
Gay rights stuff. Christianity Vs. Atheism banter. Radical leftist (or was it right wing?) talk.
I couldn't help myself, sorry for the trolling (I consider myself more of a gadfly).
Nonetheless, your dilemma is not a rare one. Thousands of people all over the world confess to being homoseual or bi all the time. Many, I think, go through the same thing. I actually elieve myself to e bi-curious (Too much clop!). While still in a state of self denial, if I end up in your oat, I'll eventually have to confront my parents as you did, who happen to e devout Christians.
Furthermore, your parents should e ashamed for taking "cheap shots" at you in an attempt to humiliate you or shame you, y using points you can't counter (for whatever reason). I've always held the elief that the person inside was always more important than what other people want/ the epctations weighing on you, no matter who is giving them.
You did good sticking up for yourself, now it's our turn. And as for what keeps me ticking....
P.S. - My "B" and "X" key hate me at the moment.
I am driven by amition; Greed. The want for something etter for myself, and those around me.
And some day, I'll conquer the world.
Anyway, much like Bennet (I pressed the "B" key more than 20 times to get it to cooperate oth those times), I find that if I don't live in the moment, the moment is lost. We only have so many moments in life - don't waste 'em. To let myself e held back is progress unmade; loss that can't be made up. If I don't strive to etter myself all the time, and enjoy the pleasures and freedoms of live, I won't have lived. It's like a story that I read recently and can't link because I can't find it now. It's characters commit suicide ecause they realize that time is all consuming. One day, all the accomplishments of mankind will amount dust and ash. They weren't able to enjoy their lives because they were too caught up in eing remembered. While it's nice to live in the memories of others for great (or atrocious) deeds, the point of life is to enjoy it, and achieve some sort of fulfillment.
This ties into my drive ecause I'm going to do the best I can to enjoy life and live wild like there's no tomorrow. I'll fill my life with people I can count on, that I can trust. I'll do all I can to make my life precious to myself, and maybe that one special person.
The point is, as long as you enjoyed your life, It will have been worth living.
In the meantime, Destiny is still downloading....
2657449
No problem. Most of us are always willing to lend a helping hand.
And, though I can't relate, I can empathize with your situation. I am (and I bet we are) all for tolerance. Hell, we don't have nearly enough of that. If there is a God, they love us all equally or care not about us all equally.
Either way, we've really only got each other, so I see every need to be tolerant and understanding with one another.
As for you... man, you got COURAGE. Because you knew the situation. You knew exactly how your parents were going to react. Yet, you told them anyway. Despite knowing the consequences, you told them. Because you felt it was something they needed to know. Just...
WOW
That takes a certain character. One that few people have. I don't know if I myself have it.
I don't think so. That makes you better than me, damnit!
Seriously though, you have my full respect. You are exemplary. Well done!
I'll keep you in mind should I ever have something similar to deal with.
Fellow bronies... fans... friends, readers, writers...
GIVE THIS GUY ALL THE LOVE!
- AIP§
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You and I are of a similar opinion, my friend.
Let us see who conquers the world first!
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Great minds think alike!
2657449
Oh shit. That's the worst you can tell your parents. Trust me on this, before I came out as gay, I told my parents I was bi and it was the worst possible thing.
fc00.deviantart.net/fs71/i/2012/320/3/2/the__worst__possible__thing__by_daringdashie-d5l0gkt.png
I seriously wish I just told my parents I was gay. I know there are true bisexual people out there and I wish I didn't disrespect them.
Look, if you're truly bi I know there is advice for you.
I'd advise you to look in to KnotCast. It's a bit of sexual advice and there is someone that is bi on there who gives great advice. http://www.fuzzwolf.com is the address.
2657835 I just came out as Bi to my family last month. Seems I was a lot luckier than you. I'm real sorry about the turnout.
I'm really bad with support so I'll try my best because I care. Recently (2 days ago) I had the dog that's been around all my life/always been my best friend pass away in the early morning. It was so sudden and it struck me extremely hard. A chunk of you comes off, ya know? He was just as much family as anyone ever could have been and I didn't know what to do.
I don't know if this can really compare to what you're going through. But honestly I keep myself up by just knowing. Just knowing that there are people I can rely on for advice and comfort. Just knowing that things ABSOLUTELY WILL get better no matter how bad anything is. Knowing that everything will come out OK in the end. As detached as this may sound, I don't think you should care what they think. If they can't accept the small detail in a wonderful man such as yourself, there is something loose in their head. The fact you had the bravery to do that knowing the reaction was damn brave. It took me months to prepare to tell my parents who I knew would be accepting. I'd be proud if I was them. No matter what my religion states is ok.
I hope this helps. I'm utterly terrible at helping others with problems. I also realize this is a bit late but I hope it still means something.
I'm real sorry if my advice was super wrong. As a super fan of your stories I hope that I can truly give you advice,
2660383 That actually helps a whole lot and it meant a lot to me
It makes sense and I'll keep all that in mind. I don't entirely agree that everything turns out okay in the end no matter what; I feel that in order to do that, you need to put for your own effort into it instead of just saying "oh well whatever it'll turn out okay, no need to worry", I always equate it to a rowboat being thrown about in the sea by waves and wind compared to a sturdy sailboat with a rudder to direct its path. Sometimes I feel like I need to be a sailboat
But that's just a nitpick and it doesn't in any way take away how much that helped me. Thank you
2661081 Buddy. You'd have to try a whole lot more to get to the point where you're offending me
But seriously thank you for the feedback and the support 
2661226 It kinda goes without saying that you can't rely on people COMPLETELY to help you out your issue. You gotta help too... it's your sadness anyways xD. If you don't want to be happy you can't be c: