I Know

Against my better judgement, I've decided to tell you a little about myself.

Last night, at about 10 o'clock, I decided to go for a little night walk. I set off up my hill and down the village that I've lived in all my life, and although that is true, I barely ever get out here any more. The annoying sodium streetlamps cast orange circles onto the pavement at intervals, and the rest of the world was lit up in greyscale by the full moon.

I breathed in deeply and looked at the row of detached houses that I see every day on my way to school, but not usually in this light. The relatively new buildings looked so much more archaic without the sun shining onto their sandstone facades.

Suddenly, I felt something under my foot. I looked down and realised that I'd stood in dogshit while I was thinking about irrelevant crap. I cussed out the innocent dog and wished it an agonising death for daring to mildly inconvenience me. Without further ado, I straightened my stylish fedora and cool matrix-style trenchcoat and continued on my way.

I closed my eyes and listened to the sounds of the night - the rustling trees, a plane in the distance. I became one with my surroundings, feeling the history of this place -- a farming village to start, then it continued to be a farming village, and finally finished up as a farming village. I felt the past, present and future under my feet.

While I was lost in existential bullshit, I wandered off the curb and tripped into the road, falling onto my face and breaking the enchantment of the night air. I got back up quickly and brushed myself off, but nobody saw so it was alright.

Up ahead was a junction, and I could either turn right, down the hill to the sewage works, or up the hill to the left and to my girlfriend's house. I decided to go up and give my woman a late night visit. She didn't know she was my girlfriend yet, but I'd already decided everything. She would leave her boyfriend and we would run off together to Romania, It was a sure thing.

As the house loomed over the horizon, I could see moving figures in the living room window. I walked over and peered in, and sure enough she was sitting by the fire looking at her phone, probably lusting over me as I looked. She glanced up and saw me in the window, screaming with excitement and running out of the room to meet me.

I went around to the door to accept her, but when it opened her tank of a boyfriend was at the door with a 2x4 plank of wood. He must have prevented her from meeting me, the abusive, jealous man.

Naturally, I sprinted away back down the hill towards where the sewage works was situated. I could hear the irate boyfriend chasing me, calling me a "creep" and yelling at me to "stop stalking his girlfriend", clearly misinterpreting my relationship with her. I heard his heavy footsteps splashing into puddles several feet behind me and his animalistic grunts permeating the dark air.

I began to drift off into another existential daydream but it was nipped at the bud by the roar of screaming tyres and the crunch of breaking bones. I turned around to see the boyfriend lying in a heap on the road, in front of a static ford escort glowing softly under the moon. The driver got out and started panicking and shouting, trying to rouse the body of my nemesis. I knew there could be no witnesses, they wouldn't understand.

I pulled out my tanto blade and walked slowly up behind the hyperventilating driver. Before I could get to him, he heard me and turned around, thanking god and asking me for help. without a word, I slashed his face twice and stabbed him in the throat. His choking form slumped to the ground and writhed momentarily before splaying out on the road, still.

I put my knife back in its sheath and began to drag the bodies one at a time down to the sewage plant, where I cut through the fence and dumped them in the lake of human excrement. I watched intently as the corpses sunk in the waste, releasing a bubble of trapped air every now and again. It was strangely beautiful.

As the last hand disappeared, I ran back to my house and locked all the doors, turning my computer on and masturbating furiously to twilight sparkle scat porn. As I came 30 seconds later, I thought about the deed I'd just done and smiled, much to my discomfort.

This afternoon I was awoken by police sirens and megaphones outside my front door, they wanted me to come out.

The pigs are teargassing my home as I type this, it looks like the end, fimfiction. Goodbye.

This was a stupid night walk, nobody understands me.