Pet Peeves · 1:26am Nov 17th, 2014
Okay, just had to get this off my chest. If you're affected by one or more of these, take these as constructive criticism. If not, well, feel free to laugh along. I'm probably going to piss off a few people by saying this. You know what? These things happen.
1. There's a system for writing creative fiction. No, it's not called the Chicago Manual of Style. It's called the Oxford Companion to the English Language. It is as important for creative writing as Chicago is for essay writing. What that means is that creative writers are recommended to (not "should") use Oxford as their guide to creative writing (i.e. stories, poetry, etc.) and Chicago for essays. There's also the AP and UPI guides for journalism, but we won't get into that right now.
What that also means is that Chicago is not the end-all, be-all for writing styles in English. There is no fucking end-all, be-all for English, because English doesn't have one! It's one of the few (if not the only) languages that does not have an official organization in charge of the language (c.f. the Académie française for French). Yes, we joke about the BBC being the Keeper of the English language, but you know what? That's not official. Even the S&P folks at the Beeb will tell you that.
Yes, I'm talking to you, fanfic prereaders at Equestria Daily. No, "But that's the style everyone knows!" is not an excuse.* C'mon, I'm fucking American and I use the Oxford (for those who are hung up on "MURICA!" mode, Harvard University also uses Oxford.) There is no fucking reason at all that prereaders, editors, etc. in the modern Inter-fucking-net Age should not know what it is. I mean, I'm not expecting people to have masters degrees in English from Oxford University, I'm just asking your lazy asses to Google it and see that it really exists!**
2. On what fucking planet does single quotes indicate internal dialogue? Or is this another damn Chicago thing some tenured fucking professor in his Ivory Soap Tower decided was for realisies? I know this might come as a shock to those of you who think that SMS should be the next style guide for the English language, but it's italics. To wit:
WRONG: 'Rob says that whoever taught you that is a doofus.' Shinzakura thought.
RIGHT: Rob says that whoever taught you that is a dumbass, Shinzakura thought.
3. No, Brian Goldner (the CEO of Hasbro) does not live his days just to piss you off. He runs a toy company; some may argue he also ran the Hub into the ground, but that's a different story. Yes, you might not be happy about Lauren Faust's ex-employment status. Yes, you might be pissed about Fighting is Magic getting Shoryukened in favor of a mediocre Farmville knockoff. Yes, Lyra and Bon-Bon/Sweetie Drops/Changeling #324213452354/whatever we're calling her this week aren't official, no matter how much DHX tries to pull it off (and on that note, nice move, guys and gals! Thumbs up!) They're a business, MLP is a toy line first, a girl's-oriented IP first and though we're on the periphery, it will take a while just to get them to expand it into viable collectors status, c.f. Transformers: More than Meets the Cash. Just be glad they aren't making FIM 4.5: Hey, 3.5 is back!
4. Yes, I'll read your story before you submit it. If I like it/or if you ask nicely, I'll edit or go to bat with you with one of my editors (hey, these guys work on my professional stuff too, so they know their shit.) Yes, if I really like it, I'll do artwork for your work.
That doesn't mean that I'll have it done in five minutes. I have a full-time job, commitments to other stuff, my side business, webcomics, a blog, two novels, websites and website commissions, fonts to design, edits to make, art to do, fix stuff around the house, and oh, somewhere in there is my four-hour commute to/from work (Ponyville is far from the Beltway) and somewhere in there I need to sleep, eat and all the other stuff that comes naturally (this includes paying attention to my wife.) So even if I offered to do something, it still hangs at the bottom rung, because it must/it's the only place for it to be. If you don't like that, there are others who are probably more than willing to look at your stuff (and I mean that in a nice way.) And if you're a bitch about it, there are others who are probably more than willing to look at your stuff (and I don't mean that in a nice way.)
5. I should also point out that I left a few of the contentious ones out, because Ayne (my wife) doesn't like having the house firebombed. 
*actual excuse given to me while talking to an EqD editor.
** Same EqD editor thought I was lying until I had him look it up.
*gives you a hug*
Not going to lie, I use both at the same time for internal dialogue, but that's largely to distinguish it from emphasis used in my rather conversational narration which is also italicized. (I refuse to use bold unless strictly necessary.)
One moment, need to get the fire extinguisher as my monitor just burst into flames.
I feel your pain there a LOT. Granted I don't write too much but on 1 and 2 I run into the same kinds of things when I talk shop (photography and printing) more than I like to count. So yeah I can definitely feel your pain.
And also on another note, I'll have to mark down the Oxford Companion to the English Language, as I think I might want to look that up.
Well, item #2 actually taught me something, though I think I used normal quotation marks.
...People actually use the apostrophe/half quote for internal dialog?
That's weird as hell. Sure The Hunt for Red October used full quotes with "he thought", but at least that was a printed book from the 80's, but otherwise I can't think of anyone using quotes for that.
I do prefer them treated as full quotes in terms of paragraph placement, though without attribution since you shouldn't be able to see thoughts beyond the POV character.
As for the EqD prereaders? They barely know what they're doing and they bias is renown.
[line break]
Weird as hell.
Looks around awkwardly*
Eheh... yeah...
To be honest, I've read that it could be single quote and/or italics...
Yeah... ahem.
Otherwise, a good read.
Huh, I'd always thought single quotes were for indicating the kind of change in tone one has when quoting in their spoken dialogue.
But then I've never read either the Chicago or the Oxford books, though I suppose I should.
Man, never knew why EqD are considered douches in the Fic department, now I know
Interestingly enough, in a lot of recent books I've read, they've been using single quotes for regular old dialogue.
I'm not a fan.
I always thought the rule was both dialogue and thoughts used double quotations. Or just avoid it by having the characters talk to themselves.
As for the prereaders, my only experience with them involved complaints that contradicted each other. So I'm not too interested in that site.
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I'm not consistent with my writing, but mostly I use both single quotations and italics to differentiate inner thought dialogue from spoken.
I've honestly never heard that single quotes weren't to be used for internal dialogue. Though I should note, most instances I've seen them used also used italics, and I just always figured that was how it was supposed to be done.
I could also be badly misremembering this as well, but it should be at least somewhat common for me to have been even mildly shocked that it's incorrect.
As long as the author is consistent, I don't really care about that one. But too many times I've seen someone switch between the two styles (and occasionally a third!). I once even saw someone use both for two different thoughts within the same paragraph!
You should really find a closer place to live, or a closer job. Assuming ~50mph average speed, that's ~200 miles. The IRS puts the cost of owning a car (including maintenance, insurance, etc. not just gas) at $0.52 per mile driven. For 200mi/day 5 days per week, that's over $2000/mo just for your car.
If that four-hour commute is slower (mostly city driving, say ~20mph average), you're still bumping up close to $1000/mo.
The actual cost of owning your specific car may vary, depending on the kind of car and how you take care of it, but even if moving closer to work costs more (or getting a closer job has a lower salary), compare it to how much less you spend on your car by moving there (or getting that closer job).
Also, a four-hour commute takes up as much time as half your working day. That's just ridiculous. I'm not going to pretend to know how much you make, but my time is worth enough that I dislike my 30-40 minute commute (one-way), and I recently applied to a position (but failed to get the offer) that was work-from-home as well as being constantly on the lookout for open positions at the defense contracting firm that has a campus biking distance from my current residence.
EqD is stupid as usual. Good to know.
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Well, we initially chose this place because at the time, Government agencies were moving out of the Beltway. Unfortunately, soon after we moved in, that policy was rescinded and with it went the jobs. As of recent, that's changed, and I'm hoping to land a position closer to home, but until then it's two hours out, two hours back.