Story Outline - The Stars Ascendant

I was just taking another look at The Stars Ascendant today, going through the story to see if I could catch any more errors in it before I sent it off to Equestria Daily. While doing so, I came across my original outline for the story, and I thought I would share, so you can see what I work with when I'm preparing to write a story. If you haven't read the story yet (and if not, shame on you, it is one of my better ones and is only 2,500 words), spoilers ahoy.

Power Overwhelming/Power of the Stars

Luna comes to Celestia in the Twilight Zone as Celestia sits in front of a vision of the battle between Twilight and Tirek. Luna will say that Celestia seems troubled, then will notice what she is watching and express interest, but also note that she should not let herself be so troubled by Tirek's machinations. Celestia will disagree, and ask Luna if she has seen the reports. Luna will acknowledge that she has, and profess that she was impressed by just how far Tirek had ranged, from Hayseed Swamp to Manehattan and Vanhoover, with only the Crystal Empire spared. Celestia will ask if she got the report from Shining Armor and Canterlot being overwhelmed, and Luna will point out that they expected that to happen, and perhaps that they should have sent Shining Armor away. Celestia will agree, and ask Luna if she remembers the conversation in Ponyville after Tirek's defeat.
FLASHBACK:
Twilight apologizes to the princesses for failing in fighting Tirek, which Celestia blows off as Twilight was never intended to confront him; she had no chance against that sort of power. At which point Pinkie Pie/Rainbow Dash jump in and correct her, saying that Twilight was totally awesome, and Discord will agree, noting that if Tirek had not threatened them, Twilight most likely would have won. Twilight is all modest about it and say she hardly even knew what she was doing and could only barely control it.
Back in the present, Luna will nod, and ask why it was troubling Celestia so. Celestia will replay the vision of the battle, then point to the final bit, when Twilight and Tirek threw their power at each other... and Tirek lost. Luna won't catch it the first time, but will the second. Even barely under control of her own power, wielding it like a cudgel rather than in any sort of refined manner, she took everything Tirek threw at her without getting a scratch on her, and managed to overpower him - him, who had taken the power of all of Equestria, plus Discord, into himself.
Luna will note that this is impossible - that there is no way that Twilight could have that kind of power. She and Celestia were no match for Discord together; he had TOYED with them when they had tried to fight, and it was only the Elements of Harmony which had allowed them to win. Maybe with Cadance on their side that MIGHT be an even fight... but that would mean that Twilight was more powerful than everyone else in all of Equestria, including her brother and the bearers of the Elements of Harmony, combined.

SUMMARY:

Equestria is safe once again, but Luna can sense that her sister is troubled. When Celestia retreats to the starry realm of ascension in order to view the past, Luna follows in order to discover what it is on her sister's mind.

COVER IMAGE:

Edit an image of Celestia in the Twilight Zone, or possibly Luna there, with an image of Tirek and Twilight fighting.

As you can see from the outline, it originally had a different title, but this story actually changed very little from its inception to publication; the whole thing was written in two days, then posted. It did differ in the details, but in broad strokes it more or less went from this to the finished product. A few things which did change:

Luna will acknowledge that she has, and profess that she was impressed by just how far Tirek had ranged, from Hayseed Swamp to Manehattan and Vanhoover, with only the Crystal Empire spared.

I used different example cities, and didn't mention the Crystal Empire at all, because it flowed better.

FLASHBACK

I put this in the form of a screen, and also had Twilight respond to her friends, because it weakened it; I had it end with Discord's words, as it was punchier and meant that Luna didn't have to repeat an objection that Twilight had just raised in the text.

Luna won't catch it the first time, but will the second.

I had her realize it right off the bat because it flowed a lot better that way.

You'll also note that the very last bit of the story - Celestia going to talk to Twilight, and Luna remaining, mulling over the images - wasn't in the outline at all. I don't remember if that was just in my head, or if I just made it up when I got to the ending because that was a punchier way to end it, but where this outline ends isn't where the story wanted to end.

Edit an image of Celestia in the Twilight Zone, or possibly Luna there, with an image of Tirek and Twilight fighting.

As you can see, I ended up including both:

If you found this interesting (or boring), or have any other questions about it, let me know in the comments.

Comments

[Walabio]

Mine headcanon for why Tirek did not overpower Princess Twilight Sparkle after consuming the magic of Discord is that, although after eating the magic of most of the magical beings in Equestria, he is powerful enough to eat the magic of Discord, he is either incapable of using it, or, although being potentially capable of using the magic, he does not know how to use it. I have partial canonsupport for this:

The magic of Discord is very different from equine magic. It is chaotic and realitydistorting. ¿How is Tirek suppose to know how to use it, if he even can? We never observe Tirek bending reality.

My take on the battle between Princess Twilight Sparkle and Tirek is that Tirek could not use the magic of Discord during the battle, so he is limited to only the power of over 90% of all Equestrian ponies. This brings up an interesting point:

If mine headcanon is correct, the 4 alicorns are more powerful than hundreds of millions of Equestrian equines. The alicorns are living goddesses. It is too bad that despite being immortal, they are not indestructible:

I consideration of other whom she does not want to vaporized, Princess Celestia dials down her poweroutput to mere megawatts. Queen Chrysalis, after gorging on Captain Shining Armor, can channels gigawatts of power. The magical beam of Chrysalis impacts horn of Princess Celestia and incapacitates Princess Celestia. If I would be an alicorn, I would work on a spell for making myself indestructible:

¡Being hypothetically immortal is worth horseapples if I slip in the shower and die from a broken neck!

[ThatOneWriter]

Neat. It's quite helpful to see how others outline things, considering that I'm terrible at it.