600 (or Present Perfect Checks His Privilege) · 2:58pm Sep 24th, 2014
And not just 600 followers; this is actually my 601st blog post.
I wanted to talk about myself a little bit, mostly laying out the story of my time in the fandom and how I got to here, wherever here is. It's probably going to sound self-serving no matter what I do. Just know that my intention (I guess this is the tl;dr) is not to brag, but to point out just why I'm so confused at how people react to me now that I've been a Site Blogger for a while. :B Here goes.
I joined the fandom in April of 2011 after finding the show in March. EQD was maybe three months old at the time; I started out on ponychan's /fic/ board, reading, critiquing, and posting garbage like Present Tense. :B My first submission to EQD (Testamintin') was rejected because it was under 1000 words and they'd just initiated a wordcount limit because submissions were starting to ramp up. I wouldn't have another problem submitting stories to EQD for quite a while. (Possibly until My Full-Sized Goddess Horse, now that I think of it.)
A few short months later, in July, EQD put out a call for pre-readers. I, having four stories on the site, at least three of which were four-stars or better, applied and was brought into the fold along with Bobcat, author of It's Always Sunny in Fillydelphia, who would leave the fandom around a year later.
This is the one event that changed everything for me. Not only the EQD Pre-Readers become fantastic friends, but it meant that my every waking moment was spent surrounded by a large group of the best editors and reviewers in the fandom. We got Vimbert; we got Twilight Snarkle; we even got ponychan's infamous Samurai Anonymous, though he's no longer active. Not only that, but quite a large number of pre-readers are counted among the fandom's top writers. The point I'm trying to make is, I have never wanted for a pair of eyes to help me whip a draft into shape. And nowadays, when the standard PR rejection form includes a link to the Editors' Omnibus and an exhortation to take advantage of Fimfiction groups like WRITE, I have to remind myself that I have no idea what that really means. I've never been involved with any of those groups; other PRs suggested them from personal experience, either as reviewers or the reviewed. I've often thought I should actually try submitting stories to one or more of those groups sometime, just so I know what the hell I'm putting people through.
Point is, I'm very, very lucky to have this much going for me. But that's not all.
Through association with the pre-readers, I ended up making friends with a whole lot of Fimfiction moderators, some of whom are PRs themselves. I'm actually not sure how that happened; possibly it wasn't until Bronycon last year, but it feels like I've known some of these people longer than that. But it means I always have an inside look at what goes on in the heart of the fandom's writing community. I hang out with the EQD blogponies, arguably the most powerful people in the fandom. (Discussion point: who are the most powerful people in the fandom? How do you even quantify that?) Even knighty hangs around with us jerks for some reason. My view of the fandom, or at least this portion of it, is very different from most people's; again, I have to remind myself of this now and then.
At last year's Bronycon, I was approached by Benman, then a pre-reader, to join in on a project he was planning in the wake of the announcement that the Pony Fiction Vault was closing. He gathered four people together and started the Royal Canterlot Library. Luckily, the site took off, at least in the sense that people valued our opinions on fanfics and wanted to be spotlit. Of course, as I sit here now, people still don't really understand what it is I do on Fimfic, but I'm getting ahead of myself.
The RCL went through a number of staff changes, and eventually Ben himself left on account of wanting to do more with his life than write about horses. This left us in a bit of a pickle because he'd been the one mirroring the posts on this site (RBDash did the same for the PFV, if I'm not mistaken), and now we had no way to get the word out. Cue a lot of hemming and hawing, and attempts to get knighty's attention. When we finally did, he was happy to give one of us site blogging privileges, we just had to decide who. At this time, I believe the RCL lineup was in its current form: myself, horizon and Chris as the old guard, John Perry and Bradel as the new. horizon does the actual site posts on the Royal Canterlot Library site proper (minus one or two filled in by Chris). All that stuff at the top talking about the story? He pulls that together. It's a lot of work, and goshdarnit he needs to be appreciated.
Anyway, I volunteered to do the Fimfiction posts because horizon was already doing those and I thought the burden should be shared, y'know? And that was that: that's the lengthy story of why my name is blue on this site. :B Not quite done yet though.
Since getting that... status, I guess, things have been weird in Presentland. I went from 500 followers to 600 in about a month, the fastest I've ever blown through 100 followers. I keep close track of my follower count because, if you haven't noticed, I do review requests for people who land on certain numbers: the hundreds, of course, but also fun stuff like "three numbers in ascending/descending order". It gives me lots to do (except that I have maybe two outstanding reviews and 8 IOUs; people don't seem to care all that much, which is fine by me because less work and lazy) and it's a fun way to say 'thank you' to people for being cool. (It's also a far sight better than my old prize, which was "your character in my story"; I still have yet to follow through on any of those, and it's been three years now.)
This has done weird things to my psyche, though. I hope everyone has the same experience I do, that you'll get a few new followers every time you post a new story. That was nothing new. But now I was getting a whole bunch, and despite having just posted a story around the same time, I attributed all of those to being a site blogger and suddenly showing up in people's dashboards. (At least one person complained about this.) That's not a particularly good feeling, mind; I don't feel like I've 'earned' those followers, and I can't tell how many of the last hundred were from "I like your story" and how many were "cool, new site staff!" (I've followed quite a lot of people just because they're mods, etc., myself.)
Now I'm getting things like people asking how to become a site blogger (I can't be the only one, right?), asking me questions meant for mods, admins and story approvers, and getting really excited when I comment on their fics. :/ I made a post not long ago lamenting that people know me more for my reviews than my writing; this is even worse. When I leave a comment on a story, the reaction's not "oh wow, Present Perfect liked this story, I'm going to get a good review from him!" It's not "oh wow, maybe the Royal Canterlot Library has their eye on me!" It's "OH MY GOD BLUE BAR COMMENT ON MY FIC". :| Is that really that important? (Not that the other two are, I'm just sayin'.)
So I'm in a weird spot where I kind of don't know who I am in this fandom anymore, just in time to have actually become someone, kind of. I'm not gonna lie: I got into writing fanfic because I thought the fandom was marvelous and I wanted to give back the only way I could; I went into pre-reading because I wanted to help authors; but ffs, everything else I've done, that I've had control over anyway, has been with an eye to "I want to make a name for myself". And now I have, and I'm lamenting having been careless with my wishes. D:
I'm probably just being whiny. :B If so, I apologize. I'm pretty bad at being conceited (writing the last two paragraphs caused lots of wincing, because it sounds pretty conceited D:). Actually, if I'm conceited about anything regarding this fandom, it's my status in the writeoffs. I missed the first one because I didn't know it was happening, and I missed one a few years down the road because I left my entry until the last minute and got screwed over by differing worldwide time changes. I keep participating because I "want to uphold my reputation", even if that reputation these days seems to be "writes stupid crap no one likes". But seriously, that's it.
Let's recap:
-Writing: tragically overlooked except that one shipfic I really hate
-EQD Pre-Reader: pretty much the only thing I earned via merit
-2nd place overall in writeoff scoreboard: earned via hard work and throwing lots of shit at the wall (and the grace of Roger's scoring algorithms)
-RCL curator status: right place, right time, know the right people
-Fimfiction site blogger status: necessary evil, not earned in the least
-Fimfiction site staff: not me
I guess my point in writing this is, I dunno how to deal with all the weird shit people have been throwing at me lately. :B Also I feel like I'm actually visible on this site at least and I wonder if there isn't something I could be doing with that visibility. I can't remember now what spurred me to wonder about that (it was a PM I got in the last 24 hours, but can I remember things? no, of course not), but it seems like the sort of thing you should start considering when you've "made it", whatever "it" might be.
"It" is kinda dumb when you get right down to
Wow, such tl;
Much read later.
well at least now you know that some experiences just aren't for you.
So what you're saying is, everything prior to this has been building up to this one moment, of 600 and 600. And you fucked it up.
No one controls their image. No one controls what they are recognized for. Your best bet is to accept it. The only other options are to renounce it, or try to change it.
Also, far as getting recognized for writing... Consistency, PP. Consistency. Find a niche. Or figure out how to whore yourself better. Being recognized for a creative process comes about two ways: get someone's attention, or marketing.
As someone:
Who just plain enjoys living in obscurity, I think I know where you're coming from. I'm so used to just chugging along, doing the little things I enjoy doing, that I continue to find it kinda disconcerting when folks notice. Suddenly there's a spotlight, and folks are leaving comments that make me think about things that I've been doing automatically for years--sometimes for decades. On one level it's great and on another really, really scary...
Mike
I followed you because of the advice you gave me in regards to pandering to the masses: to not do it and write to enjoy it and see my ideas come to life.
As for the whole follower subject, I get bewildered every time I receive a new follower; I just can't come to grips with why someone would find my writing (or myself as a person) interesting. I suppose that's my heavy sense of humility taking control, but I don't rightly know.
As for the serious reply, most people are simply reacting to the blue bar itself, I would think. There's a measly three of you on the entire site, as far as I'm aware. Shit, I'm told you in the past about my own self-conscious paranoia, but the simple fact is that most people wouldn't recognize my name, without any context. Your blue bar kinda forces the point, so there's probably a large set of people who probably don't know your name per se, but they see the badge and that commands a sort of respect or reverence. If I got some form of site contributor badge (knighty, don't you fookin dare, swear on me mum), I'd probably be getting some of the same.
But in the end, it's just rarity and implications that they're reacting to. The easiest way to diffuse that is just be "keepin it real." Casual comments, fun stories, informal blogposts. Hella S4 opener; becoming a princess didn't change who you were. You'll still get people who only know you as a princess, and that's fine. You'll just know to recognize that for what it is.
Holy fuck, you have a blue bar on your name?
I can accept being a nobody if it means I can keep reading your fics
I don't divide the members of the staff from the rest of us. We're all in it together, so why bother demanding respect? Some of us just know our pon3 more than others, and that's just a fact. I edit in my spare time, but I'm no master. I write silly shit but somehow people keep on reading. As long as you stay true to you, and true to everything that you have done, from presentperfect to Present Perfect, we'll continue to love you all the same.
I mean, if I'm shitposting, and I see blue bar, my first thought would be 'aw shit.' but no. Every reply from you is like finding a dollar in the wash: Unexpected, and really awesome when you're broke.
Keep on being that dolla dolla bill, yo
th02.deviantart.net/fs71/PRE/i/2013/131/9/d/rainbow_dash_is_busy_by_docwario-d64wwqz.png
If it's any consolation...
For me it's more "popular author whose opinions I respect" and
My personal favorite is still "ACT OF WILL".
Uh. Eh. Eheheh, w-who would have such a silly reaction when someone who does reviews follows you/faves your story/comments on it? I mean, pfff, that's so stupid, am I right? Like, hahah, nobody really does that. I mean, nothing wrong with it, of course. Well, I, uh, I might have a friend who does that? Um, sometimes, I mean? And he's a cool guy and stuff, and I guess---HAHAHAH SILLY ME THAT'S A LIE OF COURSE NOBODY I KNOW OR AM DOES THAT KIND OF THING THAT'S STUPID YOU'RE STUPID SHUT UP.
I'm fairly sure that's kind of a normal thing. I know a couple guys who go through the same thing, actually -- when one's trying to make a name out of himself, and suddenly he has one, but not really, it's kind of... Weird. Like, some people randomly know you, but you don't know if they're the exception or the rule.
Personally, However, I would consider you do have some kind of fame, and probably the majority of the site knows about you (or at least the majority of users I know). That name comes from your reviews and your work as a reviewer, though, not as a site blogger. I mean, sure the site blogs were kind of a surprise, but dunno, that's not your actual image in the site, or so I think.
On the other hand, seeing that history on how you got your name (metaphorically speaking), I'm pretty sure you earned it. I mean, you kind of worked for it, and even the most "casual" stuff, like getting the site blogger thing, comes from stuff you earned with some work beforehand. So you might think you didn't earn it, but you did -- after all, other people trusted you to give you those positions, right? As site blogger, as RCL curator... Just knowing the right people isn't enough; those people need to know that you're up to the challenge.
Believe me: you can flaunt your fame with pride. It's far worse to get a fuckton of followers out of nowhere because you happened to have a lucky shot, and then never living up to it ever again, no matter how much you try.
*sneaks in*
Well I like you for your snarky voice, sugar.
*sneaks out*
I know you as this cool author I've been following for ages and a super funny guy. I'd vote try not to worry too much about people who don't know you and focus on your friends.
2479625
Also, yes, what he said. Sometimes people freak out when people like you comment or like a story because, hell, that means that an author who supposedly knows what he's doing believes the story is worthy of his attention. It's like a sign of recognition, like if you passed a test.
It might be a little stupid (we're all human, after all), but I also think it's perfectly natural, so the reaction shouldn't be considered "good" or "bad". I almost peed myself the day Pen Stroke faved a story of mine, but that's because if a story is enough to impress a person you know is good, then it means you did something right. So yeah. You have that power, use it right. Go and make the day of some newbies or something, I don't know.
And if you want recognition as a writer, as somebody else above me said, it's either consistency or consistency. Maybe writing a collab with a popular author might work, too, but mostly? Try to get a superhit on your own and then see if it sticks. Worst advice ever, but that's the only thing I know works.
However, as the NC once said -- if you can choose between quality or popularity, always strive for quality. Popular things are eventually forgotten. Quality things are not.
A number of interesting things to note about this.
First off, I understand the conceited issue. I'm actually one of those conceited types – when entering contests, just for example, my usual thought isn't "this'll be fun," it's: "okay, you illiterate amateurs, let me show you how it's done." I'm fully aware of my arrogance, though, and continuously put myself down in order to keep it in check. My team of editors also do a great job of reminding me that what I do isn't the literary equivalent of angels on high amidst pearly gates and the approving smile of God.
So I get it if sometimes you feel a little conceited. I imagine we all feel it at times – some of us a lot more than others.
Staying humble can be a daily challenge, but I also think a little ego can be very healthy. So go ahead and relish your achievements and status. Tell yourself you've earned it.
Just remember to keep your head tied to a string so it doesn't float too high now and then.
Second, I have a tolerate/hate relationship towards EqD. I wholeheartedly disagree with their guidelines, and sometimes I look at the material they accept and wonder how it managed to slip through their supposedly ironclad rules. I always feel like they put too much emphasis on perfect grammar and not enough on the story being good (one story in particular glares in my mind's eye).
That being said, I've made my peace with my disagreements regarding the site as a whole, and therefor suppose I won't hold your position as a pre-reader against you. I can certainly understand why you'd be proud of the position, all things considered.
Third and last (I think), my reaction to the fact that you were reading/reviewing my stories was a little different from what you were probably thinking at the time. When a friend informed me of this, I didn't really care that a 'blue' was reading my story. I'm happy if anyone's reading my story, regardless of status.
What really caught my attention was when you reviewed my stories, but it wasn't because of 'who' was doing the reviewing so much as the fact that someone out there was doing so in the first place. Nobody had ever taken enough notice of me to actually do a review like that, excepting one instance where a review was earned by winning a contest (and no, I'm not talking about Ordinary World). So thank you for that, it made me feel special (excuse me while I tie this string).
so now I'm adding a story or two of yours to my RiL. I'm rather picky about what I read and won't touch incompletes, but you leave me with plenty of options regardless. Considering the story's got some 190 in front of it, though, it may take some time.
For the record, if you ever comment on something of mine, I'll just treat you like any other person who comments on my stuff. No special treatment, no awe, nothing extra, just like an interaction between two people. Because, in the end, that's we all are, even mods and admins, we're just people.
I Follow you because I like bloating my read later list with your recommendations and also like watching your banter with people.
Dinky's first kill isn't bad either.
The slings and arrows of outrageous fandom, eh PP?
For what it's worth, I think you're handling your fame, and the inevitable misunderstandings it causes very well. You've got the right attitude; you never come off as condescending or superior. I don't think I'm alone when I say your contribution to the community is Very Much Appreciated, to say nothing of the fact that your writing is top-notch.
You're okay in my book, PP. Keep up the good work.
Maybe talk to knighty about having a check box that makes your bar green when you aren't commenting in an official capacity. Shouldn't be too hard to go and do.
2479575
Well, I'm actually at 602 followers, so it was auto-fucked. :B
2479583
Consistency? Me? Well, now I know what I'm doing wrong. :V
2479588
Be proud of it. It's always nice to be appreciated for what you do. :D
2479592
Ah! Half the battle!
And wow, that is the best "learn shit from the show" metaphor I think I've ever seen. :O Thank you, based sir!
2479602
Holy fuck, you have 3000 followers?
2479606
You're not getting any money from me. <.<
2479625
That's not one I'd expect to hear. :O Thank you.
2479643
Well, I'm certainly not going to flaunt it. :B It's just weird, nothing beyond being a PR really feels like it was earned. I guess it just goes along with my general (incorrect) worldview. (Y'know, believing that merit is important and getting things by knowing people is dishonest, despite that apparently being the way the whole world operates.)
2479650
This made my day. :D
2479664
I almost peed when Pen Stroke commented on the stupid story I wrote about his character. :O I know that feel!
2479671
I don't have anything in particular to say save that I really appreciate this comment. :O
2479899
omg stfu d D:
2479936
Sometimes I really wonder if I'm contributing anything, so I appreciate you saying this.
2479959
I'm not that would really work, given what little I know about how this site operates. <.< Honestly, I'd just like the site blogger bar to be a different color from mods, etc., so I stop getting the mod questions. Unfortunately, I made the mistake of suggesting that to knighty via PM, ensuring it will be lost to the tides of eternity. D:
2480118
But you've already given me two cents!
For my part, I love when you comment on or review one of my fics not because of the blue bar, but because I see you as a far more experienced writer, one from whom I believe I can still learn much. I'm really grateful for those (even if most of them were from Writeoff events where I was just an anonymous author
)
2480118 say what you will about Mcdonalds, they've shown us how to be popular.
I know who you are, you are PresentPerfect.
More seriously, I would assume that the main identity you've established in terms of public image is from the sheer quantity of fic reviews. I know that's definitely how you landed in my perception (probably with the FOE read through). Not that I wasn't following before that, for some reason that I don't completely remember, but the reviews are why you aren't just another random author in my mind.
But that's exactly what I thought when you reviewed my story...
In all seriousness, it's always hard dealing with how people see you and if that's how you want to be seen. Don't feel like you need to change for anyone though, if you're happy where you're at and with what you're doing. (then again, don't let that be an excuse to be lazy. Seriously, don't become me and pop up every 10 months to do something.)
P.S. I really wanna know what you thought of the Power Ponies annual.
2480118
Given that I'm a programmer, I can't imagine it would take more than 20 minutes to add a checkbox which defaults the color value of your name on a post and hides the site blogger tag. It seems like it would in general be a fairly useful feature.
2479671
Also, PP, to be quite honest I do follow you for your reviews.
Hail, fellow City of Doors contributor!
2480273
I know what you mean. There are people I've followed and been like, "Wait, who is this again?" and then either found something of theirs I remembered reading or they started doing something like reviews and became more memorable to me. :B
2480335
Man, I am so behind on the comics. D: Catching up now though! (Kind of.)
2480920
Well, it would change the color for all posts I've made, is what I'm thinking. As far as I can tell, that's how Fimfic works. I mean, if you change your username, it changes for all posts you've already made.
2480992
Lemme tell you, that guy's organizing prowess is astonishing. :O
2480920 You'd also need to add an element to the various comment tables (story, blog, and possibly group threads) to handle whether to override the user type color. There would have to be something in the database to support the front-end functionality after all.
Not that adding a few columns is all that much more complicated, this is just the sort of change that I would describe as taking 30 minute tops and then end up spending an entire day on to catch all the edge cases.
Well if it means anything I didn't know any of this when I followed you. To me you're just that weird guy who likes my even more weird stories. I could care less about some blue stripe.
2481283
To me you are just that guy who writes weird stories that won the contest. :B Also I'm looking forward to Swooty Bell 3 finish that soon plz
2481195
The Power Pony one is stand-alone and (I think) pretty good. I'd definitely recommend it, and Hum Drum is totally a pony, so that's good too.
I followed you because you are an EQD prereader and two years ago I naively thought that they were the most important people on fimfiction.
By the way, my tongue lives vicariously through your "Take vs Food" series. One more reason to follow you.
2481791
I am very pleased to hear this. :D I need to get some more videos out this month.
I'm pretty sure I started following you due to one of your stories popping up on the ponyramblings site, then when following you I found I enjoyed the stuff you had to say. When I started doing review stuff your output was kind of the end-game goal in my head. Sort of a 'when I have more reviews than you I can die fulfilled' sort of thing
...and now I'm keeping track of every ponyfic text review put online, and I keep thinking about trying to go back and link to all of EqD's story posts. Or maybe start recording some audio readings of stories. I'm lazy at heart and you keep waking up my ambition.
You sir, are a bad influence. Everyone! Don't let your kids grow up to be PresentPerfect followers!
As for the rest, just more data to bolster my theory that success is simply doing stuff until luck hits. More stuff you do, better chances of luck happening, but it's still luck. You only deserve your success if you act like it. Call it retro-active earning it. Also, it's really annoying for the big master list that the stories for RCL get posted in two places at different times.
2483381
Don't go cataloguing EQD, that'd just be silly. :B I like the idea of fics readings, though! Let me know if you need pointers! :D
Also don't try to have more reviews than me. THAT WILL NEVAR HAPPAN >:V
2483729
I know it's silly! But... But sometimes I catch myself thinking "it wouldn't be _that_ hard to link to every story post ever on EQD... right?" and then the rest of my brain smacks sense back into me.
2483749
EQD's search function still works, it's totally not necessary. :B
> RCL curator status: right place, right time, know the right people
Don't sell yourself short. Ben was looking for the best reviewers he could find who would work well together. (And me, because, um, he knew me, I guess.) He explicitly recruited his top choices for the project; maybe you happened to know the right people but you had valuable skills.
At any rate, thanks for all the cool stuff you do (and thanks for the name-drop).
(he says as he sneaks off to finish this week's post)
2483762
Wait, wait, wait. Are you under the impression I do these things because of practical reasons?
2483776
Oh yes, thanks for reminding me I have to do things tomorrow. :V
2483801
Silly me. :B