Reading Is Optional · 8:20pm Sep 11th, 2014
Eight days ago, one of the major parking lots in my complex had an Official Police Flashing Bulb Sign go up at the entrance. Y'see, that particular lot gets... abused. The maximum number of vehicles which are supposed to be occupying it? About twenty lower than the actual evening count. It can go up to fifty on weekends. During the work week, multi-car families put their extras in any conveniently-empty space. Such as, just for example, the driveway corridors which lead to different sections of the lot. They may leave one lane empty for someone to get by. But on the weekends, when their friends come to party -- they close those gaps. Then they part behind other people, have a few drinks, wake up on Tuesday, and completely fail to understand why anyone would ever be mad at them. Tows can be called for and sometimes arrive, along with tickets and impound fines -- but it hasn't stopped anything. Also, the default position for most of those partygoers when someone comes around asking if this is any attendee's car is to pretend they don't speak English. To be fair, some truly don't. Which doesn't keep the person who's kept you from going to work from hitting on you, because universal is the language of Watch Me While I Prove I Can Seduce That.
So the lot is going to be repainted and rezoned. Obscure parking boundaries will be made visible. Where lanes begin and end? Perfectly clear. I don't expect this to stop anything either, because the claims of 'I didn't know I wasn't allowed to park there' only have to add 'And what's a white line? I'm color-blind' to continue passing.
The flashing bulb sign told everyone to have their cars out of the lot by noon today. No exceptions: they needed the entire thing clear for the refurbishment. Eight days' notice. People driving in and out all the time.
Legally, the lot holds one hundred and twenty cars -- and just for the fun of it, let's say that was the morning's starting number. How many cars would you reasonably expect to still be within at 12:01 p.m?
Okay... positive, lot-clearing factors in play. Duration of the sign: eight days is a lot of notice and it's a big sign, a freestander with its own attached generator, about eight feet fall. Hard to miss, really. Lots of time for people to spot it. There are in fact other places to park, although they involve whole blocks of walking and isn't that just the greatest torture anyone could inflict? (Because certainly having your car trapped for a few days isn't it.) It's a weekday, so there aren't many around drunk enough to not care about consequences, plus the owners of vehicles would be easier to track.
Working against... not everyone in my area is all that good at reading or speaking English, even when pretending they can't isn't in their best interests. This includes a number of recent immigrants and a few who are just functionally (and proudly) illiterate, although they still managed to pass a driving test -- maybe. There are a couple of people in just about any neighborhood who feel orders, laws, and everything else doesn't apply to them unless they can use it against someone else: if they can't see boundary lines, they're probably not going to be all that good with signs. Others never pay attention to the world around them until the first car crashes into them, or at least that's how they'll choose to remember it.
But you'd think a triple-digit parking violation ticket and even higher impound tow/storage/release fee would be some level of incentive, right? Plus those who didn't read the local language or care about the words within had eight days for their friends who did to provide warning...
Base number: one hundred and twenty cars. Ideal quantity remaining by noon: zero.
(Everyone, make your guess now.)
When the deadline hit, I called someone who works out of their home, asked her to take a quick peek out the back window and take a count.
Nineteen.
Not including the police vehicles, those carrying the refurnishing materials, and the tow trucks.
There were a lot of tow trucks.
Nothing says "learn to read the schedule warning signs" like paying to get your car out of impound.
I love your life stories. You make the mundane so interesting.
2446851
Doubtful. Sounds like these people don't give a crap. What makes you think they actually pay any of the fines?
Huh.
Before highlighting the blacked out portion, I'd settled on an upper bound of 70 and a lower bound of 20.
Feels good to know that I was almost correct :-P
I actually guessed 30. By how you were describing it I was going for around a 25% rate of people who were oblivious to the world around them. You must live a fun life Estee.
how many got towed?
I was actually expecting it to remain in the triple digits...
I'm a cynic and guessed 60.
2446870
Well, presumably the alternative is to lose the car for good
I learned my lesson about that ONCE-and that once cost me a chance to see the last Genesis tour with Phil Collins as the lead. Since then, I pay REALLY good attention to the traffic signs.
Some people ultimately believe that they're immune to the law of averages. And, because it's them, they are clearly special and deserve special treatment. I'm almost suprised it wasn't triple digits. And, your local municiaplity should be thankful to them for adding more money to their cash-strapped coffiers.
2446872
I feel that if this had been done on, say, a Saturday afternoon, while people were still in recovery from the Friday parties, you could have figured on a possible +30.
2446888
All of those behind the spoiler text unless someone came running in at the last minute. It may have taken some time to get enough trucks.
2446963
"No!" said FIMFic's supposed resident cynic to its arguably most notorious self-torturer. "Really?"
2446971
I'm now waiting to see which happens first on that concert reference: someone groans in empathy about how unlucky you were, or someone else claiming you had the narrowest escape of your life...
For those who don't maths that well, that is about 1 in 6 cars...
From the headline, I thought this was an irritated warning at people who complain about the Triptych continuum that they don't have to read it if they don't like it. But this is much more interesting.
I've had my fair share of parking violations, but I haven't been parking in the city for long and I've mostly learned my lesson by now. I've certainly never crossed the line as much as the people in your story.
2447017 Or both at once.
2447033
Not sure if British, typo, just plain quirky, or some combination thereof.
I figured 112, because I have almost no faith in humanity. And I worked retail.
I shudder to think about how your neighbors are on a daily basis, not just about how shitty they park. I'm running the whole horrifying gamut in my head: barking dogs, screaming kids, screeching parrots, domestic arguments, car alarms, too-loud music, etc etc. I can only hope you're more tolerant than I am...
2446971 2447017 To be fair, I actually saw one of those concerts a few years ago in San Jose, and - if you like Genesis - it was an excellent concert. Let's face it: If you don't like a band, then they're basically the embodiment of the Anti-Christ (or some atheistic equivalent, such as Marketing and Sales people) when you describe them to someone else.
One quick comment. Most people have front wheel drive cars and don't pop the emergency brake when they park, so if you get *two* rolling floor jacks, you can stick one under each front wheel 'knuckle' and pull that annoying car anywhere you want (provided the parking lot is both flat and paved). Not that I've ever done that. Or will admit it. Wonder what the statute of limitations is on that...
I choose to interpret this as a great sign of progress, 101 people moved their cars (over that, since that lot is often filled above the limit). Most people remembered this sign, even as they were stressed out and desperate to park and go inside. I think this boosted my faith in humanity just a little bit.
Be honest Estee, you expected a lot more than 19 cars to be there before you counted, didn't you?
2448411
To take it back down a few notches...the deadline to clear out was noon on a weekday. Most of the cars were probably going to be out of the lot anyway.
2448508 That is a good point. Fine, faith in humanity declining back to original position.
You're repeating yourself.
Huh. I guessed one hundred. Good to know that some incentives do work.
Also, color-blindness doesn't work that way, and I really hope the impounders know that.
2448817
*snerks* I actually liked retail. It was my supervisor and the fact I worked graveyard shift for four months that broke me.