Spoiler Alert: Batman Assault on Arkham, Part 4 · 11:54pm Sep 6th, 2014
: The three remainin' Squadders then fight o'er the only helicopter on the island....which is odd, seein' as how it's clearly big enough fer more'n one guy. Deadshot wins an' flies away, but Joker an' Harley hitch a ride. Which only proves ma point.
: This causes a fight between Joker and Deadshot, which is definitely the coolest part of the movie, even though Joker has Greedo-level aiming skills during this fight. It ends with Joker falling several dozen stories into a giant fireball, but c'mon, we all know he survived.
: Meanwhile, Batman deactivates the bomb by cuttin' a red wire....as per a set 'a instructions taped ta the bomb's lid. What, did Joker not bother ta remember the most basic parts 'a how the bomb worked?
: Finally, Batman confronts Waller about being such an idiot, but she ignores him because she's part of the government and no one can touch her!
Yes, because sending this story to Clark Kent wouldn't cause you any problems at all. Moron.
The film ends as, after Batman leaves her office, Waller sees a laser sight aimed at her. Deadshot, from across the city, begins to pull a trigger, and the credits pop up.
: So, that was Assault on Arkham. What do we think? It's a piece of trash! If you're looking for a dumb, 1980s style heist film, the action and comedy might be enough to keep you entertained. But if you were looking for something with half the intelligence, creativity, or emotional weight of almost any of DC's animated projects, prepare to be rudely disappointed. The characters are stupid, two-dimensional parodies of their normal selves, and it's a poor introduction to the Suicide Squad or Arkham franchises. The team's appearance in Justice League Unlimited would be a far better use of your time. Furthermore, the mood is extremely mean-spirited, in the tradition of abominations like Countdown or Ultimatum. And if you want an animated superhero film with an edge, there are others out there with far more craft behind them. Try the motion comic of Watchmen, Batman: Under the Red Hood, or the Son of Batman movie, instead.
There; that's our opinion. What did you think, Deadshot?
: Well, ignoring your embarrassing introduction, you were able to stand as tall as anyone else in this mess. Heck, that fight with the Joker bordered on freaking awesome! I think it'll help your street rep immensely.
: Ah'm right sorry 'bout all this, Twilight. If'n I'd had my utility belt on me, we could'a nabbed that varmint.
: Oh, don't worry about that, Applejack. I've already got a plan in motion for that.
Holy Clockworks, Batman! Looks like you got there just in time to knock this criminal scum out for the count!
Yes! It would....appear so, old chum.: What the....how'd you two know ta be here?!: Oh, we've been planning this ever since Deadshot showed up. We just waited until we had a good excuse to send Fluttershy away, then she contacted them. Thanks again, Batman!
No.....problem, citizen! Quickly, Robin! We must take him back....to his own timeline!
Right, Batman!
: So, did I miss anything? Was the movie good? I hope it wasn't TOO violent.
: Well, I, um, who wants vegetarian shawarma?
: Ooh, ooh, I do!!
I think I officially crossed the line into making this a not-for-kids blog, if the content I'm reviewing is any indication.
Or Batman: Under the Red Hood, Justice League: Doom, Superman vs. The Elite...etc, etc...
Welcome to the club mate!
Now go review A Clockwork Orange
(I'm kidding, that movie was rated X when it came out, and for rather good reasons....)
Here, have a Kubrick montage because Kubrick.
2433827 ESPECIALLY Under the Red Hood. All three of those are GREAT, but UtRH was the film that was closest in purpose to this one while still making an emotionally resonant story.
A Clockwork Orange....if its usual grouping with 1984 is any indication, I'll pass. That's one of two novels I've ever read that made me sick to my stomach.
2434092 actually, its considerably less disturbing then 1984 (to me at least)
The only reason they're grouped together is because they're by British authors about a disutopyian future England
2434158 Hmm. Well, maybe someday.