HELP! To everybody following me and the story Stay, I need help here. · 5:22am Aug 4th, 2014
The sequel of my story, Stay, it's about to go to Development Hell so I need help to avoid that.
Okay, first of all, let's give a look at my works to see what kind of crap I like to write:
My main line
Doom Patrol: A crossover adventure with some dark shades but mostly lighthearted.
Mare-Do-Well Strikes!: A crossover adventure with some dark shades but mostly lighthearted.
Lightspeed Rescue: A crossover adventure with some dark shades but mostly lighthearted.
My darker and edgier side
The Conversion Bureau: Judgement Day: A crossover drama with various dark shades and not lighthearted.
The Princess and the Soldier: A crossover adventure with various dark shades and not lighthearted.
Ponies and Robot Wars: A massive multiplayer crossover fan rambling with robots and ponies that, for being in written format, technically counts as a fiction.
And
Stay: A one-shot slice of life written in a single scene that relies more in the characters than the actions. Canon and original characters. No crossover.
No points for guessing which one is me playing against type.
To this day, I'm still not sure how I managed to write Stay, which has become a personal breakout fiction. I'm afraid that it's style and set are maybe too far from my competences and--
What I'm trying to say, is that I will TRY to write Stay's sequel as I already said and I'm actually working on it, but I'm afraid to end up like Frank Miller writing All-Star Batman. Screwing the story and the characters beyond bad.
In other words, I don't believe myself good enough to write a properly decent sequel for Stay.
If somebody out there wants to prove me right or wrong I would really appreciate the help, so here's what I already got for anybody crazy enough to read it:
Dear diary, today was a very fun day.
Remember that creature that mommy called 'human'? And how after that it spoke and said that his name was James?
Well, now Jimmy has become my friend too! Is like having a big brother. Don't misunderstand me, I love my brothers and sisters around the hive but he's way closer. He's like, I don't know, but he cares about me like mommy. In fact, he's like a second mommy to me, how do they call it?
A daddy!
Well, the other day I asked to mommy if Jimmy could be my daddy, but she said that I didn't need one. I asked her about my daddy, the real one, and she only said that he should never be mentioned again. She didn't spoke to me the rest of the day, until nighttime when she visited me in my room. I was sad because I thought I did something wrong, but she said it wasn't my fault, but that my daddy wasn't good for us. I've never asked again since.
But back to today.
It was very early in the morning, like, before the roof crystal started to glow. I had that nightmare about running in a hallway and ponies chasing me. As always when I have that one I went to mommy's room but she wasn't there.
Before commenting or sending me a PM I want you to understand this:
I want brutal honesty here, I want you to hit me with everything you got. If something's wrong I want to know it.
I said I will do it and I WILL write this anyway, I got a personal code and I never back away.
If you feel like writing your own sequel, go ahead. The very idea that started this site is that stories can be expanded beyond its original author. Just remember me and Giz for coming up with the original.
So, that's it. for those who are about to help me with their opinions I can't say thank you enough, so if you ever need a favor from me I will do whatever I can to repay the help done here.
I don't see anything wrong with what your going with so far. though I know nothing of grammer or crap like that. I think it could be interesting.
hm
ti me nothing sees to be wrong , a lot of autors tried to write different kind of Stories , and it's never a bad thing , since you register on FIM for a long time , i guess you must have read plenty of stories so , plus you've wrote some yourself , so you know what is a bad thing to do , and what is good.
After reading that small part , i can only guess it's a Changeling child writing a diary , about her life and her problems , the current one being the fact that the kid got a mom but no dad , and start to see James as a "Father figure"
Plus you're showing the two sides of the coin about the Changelings , they are portrayed as monster sometimes , but how's their everyday life ? is what all the ponies are saying about them true ? (seeing that Changelings kid are actually scared fo ponies is a bit fun when you think about it)
There's a lot of stories where sometimes the mane 6 and the two lovers take the blame about the royal wedding for what happened to the changelings , saying that the Canterot invasion was a desperate plan from Chrysalis , to find food for her dying Hive.
Anyway , what you wrote seems fine to me , just be careful that any situation between James , the kid and Chrysalis doesn't evolve too fast.
I think you're real problem is that you got too much work already , so you got a hard time to focus on one fic and on a different kind of fic.
So take a break from writing and doing research for your Fics and i don't know....buy a new video game , Watch some films , hang out with some friends , save a cat from a house on fire and say to the journalists " I'm Batman"
I would avoid going too 'over the top' with it. Frank Miller's 'All Star Batman' became stupid because he 'turned everything up to 11' when he didn't have to. Going 'more intense' to out do the last time is OK...but there is a point beyond which it gets just....silly.
I've got another idea about mixing humor into serious and back, impact of writing etc...but I have to dash off right now...more later.
seems good so far, but it is only a small piece. You seem to be doing good with the diary format. It is personal like a letter to a friend has its suppose to be. And it douse give that child feeling. You need to avoid being too childish, there ignorant not stupid.
Since the diary entry isn't staking up to be an info dump, I assume it will be a recurring component of the story, if not the hole story. There are many negatives and positivists with this. With the actual event happening of screen, there is a certain disconnect from the story. This can be countered with either a personal connection to that one person or interesting stories. Better would likely be intermittent diary entries. This way the audience can be 'there' when the main action happens, and then we get the after action from the diary.
Say for instance two characters (besides Monarch) get into a fight and we see that 'has it happens' then cut to diary for the emotional talk afterwards. All in all the diary's are less immersive then regular story telling, and will always be inferior then a well written direct scene. There strengths are they can allow you to largely subvert the rule of show don't tell. They are great for covering events that would other wise be to long, or boring to cover directly. Has an example of how to do 'logs' well check out "Arrow 18 Mission Logs: Lone Ranger by AdmiralTigerclaw". The hole story is told in after actin reports.
My own advice is that the kind of story I hope this will be is going to relay heavily on having great characters. Take some time, write each main characters name at the top of there own paper, and being making bullets about them. What they want, what they value, what they fear, etc. Maybe even give them a couple paragraph backstory covering major events in there life. You should definitely have an 'end point' for the story already but don't be so focused on it that you can't let "the words take you'. Lastly try to immerse your self in the story and feel has the characters fell. You know the general stuff.
PS. Feel free to PM me if you want help brain storming.
2342209, 2342458, 2342463, 2342943
My dear friends.
Is in these moments of self weakness when I doubt about my skill and even my own condition as a writer is when a truly appreciate to have people like you to show me a ray of light again.
Thank you.
Now your individuals responses:
2342209: Well, grammar always had been the last of my worries. I just want to not disappoint to those who liked the original's style.
2342458: I already did all of that except for the 'I'm Batman' thing. Cats don get stuck that commonly on trees these days. Thank you for the advice. I just spent a full twenty four hours aout of writing and my head already feels lighter.
2342463: More than 'over the top' I was worried about trying to emulate a previous work but turning it into a sad shadow of what the original was. Now I feel more confident and I know that I will never go as far as Miller did.
2342943: Right now I'm having some kind of 'time out' from writing, but as soon as I have a real idea I will let you know.
Then i say go for it
In the unlikely event you should mess up well let ya know