Spoiler Alert: Robocop (2014), Part 1

: Saw the new(ish) Robocop the other day.

: First off, I should note that we haven't seen the original, since Fluttershy doesn't like R-rated movies. So any comparisons to the original are based purely off common knowledge. We start off the film with footage of drones, built by a company named Omnicorp, fighting terrorists in some Middle Eastern country, while killing any civilian with anything as threatening as a kitchen knife. What, you couldn't install some nonlethal deterrents in these things?
: The issue 'a drone combat has been added ta the reboot ta make the conflict more relevant. It also 'elps avoid the stereotype that Detroit only needs a robot cop 'cause it's a Wretched Hive 'a Scum an' Villainy. Omnicorp's leader, played by Michael Keaton, wants ta expand 'is business ta 'Murican police drones, but needs ta overcome public stigma 'gainst drones ta do so.
: The film is brought to a halt by segments of a talk show hosted by a comically biased and sensationalist robot-supporter played by Samuel L. Jackson. Despite their irrelevance to the plot, these segments can be surprisingly entertaining.
: The film stops yet again to show us the title screen, complete with the classic Robocop tune. It's played surprisingly straight; it's not even a rap remake or anything, thank Celestia.
: Keaton goes to his scientist in charge of prosthetics, played by Gary Oldman, to ask him if he could make a cyborg cop, since Keaton believes that the public will trust a man inside a machine more than just a machine, which would have no sense of morality or compassion. As proof of Oldman's credentials, we see him teaching a man to use his artificial arms to play the guitar again. Oldman's speech about how it's the man, not the hands, that plays the guitar betrays the screenwriters' basic ignorance to the concept of muscle memory. It also introduces the film's theme of emotion vs. logic, which will feel just as cliche' and uninteresting in this scene as it will for the rest of the film.

: We then meet our hero, Alex Murphy, a police officer with a wife and son. Um, to be perfectly frank, though, he sort of feels more robotic here than he will when he later becomes a cyborg. He uses flashback to explain the conflict him and his partner have with dishonest cops and a big meanie criminal named Antoine Vallon. And, well, the flashback isn't entirely necessary, and the scene probably would've worked better in chronological order.
: Vallon manages to put Murphy in a coma with a car bomb, and Omnicorp selects him to become Robocop. Murphy is rapidly awakened from his coma and almost instantly shown his artificial body, which, surprise surprise, causes him to freak out. We then see that Omnicorp seems to have no way to restrain Murphy other than remotely shutting him down, but Oldman elects not to use that option until the living super weapon manages to run outside the compound and into the midst of a civilian population. Are we sure Oldman hasn't secretly reverted to Dr. Smith?

: Murphy than begins his new training, and, as anyone with half a brain could've guessed, it turns out that a human/machine interface reacts slower to threats than a robot would. Keaton, though, is stunned and orders Oldman to fix this 'problem.' Oldman, having few other choices, decides to alter the interface so that whenever Murphy is in combat, the computer completely takes over without Murphy realizing it. Having brought Murphy up to speed, they prepare to publicly unveil him. Minutes before the ceremony, they decide to upload YEARS of police records and data into Murphy's brain instead of, I don't know, doing it gradually over the course of the several weeks' time they had. This, unsurprisingly, causes Murphy to begin going into seizure. In order to bring him on stage on time, Oldman lets the computer completely take over Murphy, causing him to essentially become a robotic cop. I have to admit, it's a pretty convincing depiction of a scientist breaking more and more of his personal convictions in order to not lose funding.