Thirty Minute Pony Stories Prompt #3 Submission - 'Surprise' · 10:48am Jun 3rd, 2012
As some of you may know, the Tumblr 'Thirty Minute Pony Stories' recently started up by several well-respected poni authors required you to spend no more than the eponymous period of time on writing a short story based around whatever prompt the mods give out. I missed the first two but was up and around when the third was posted, which was:
'Twilight is grievously injured and only Pinkie Pie can save her.'
After 10 minutes of haring around the room shouting "Arrrrrgh I can't think of anything arrrrgh" I managed to bang out a short entry that pleased me (though when I see the other submissions that feeling rapidly dissipates). And here it is.
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Twilight Sparkle has cried many times in her short life. She cried when her dearest friends were twisted by Discord’s magic; she sniffled when she thought she was about to fail the entrance exam for the School for Gifted Unicorns. She downright bawled when her BBBFF banned her from his wedding, however briefly. But she’s never been inconsolable like this.
Face down on her bed, muzzle buried under her forelegs, she sobs her little heart out. At this rate she’s going to dissolve the pillow cover in concentrated saline, she thinks. But what else can she possibly do? Everything, but everything has just gone wrong and it can’t get any worse.
A tentative knock sounds from the front door of the library. She was wrong; it looks like it can get worse.
She ignores it, of course. There’s only one pony who’d be wanting to see her right now, and it’s the pony she absolutely, positively cannot let in. When she galloped into her sanctum sanctorum she made darned sure that nopony was going to follow her here, nopony was going to tell her how much of a foal she’d just made of herself. She locked the door, she locked the windows, she placed a particularly vicious itching spell on the lock of each one just in case. The library was as secure as she was going to get it, short of an assault by one of the Princesses.
The knocking repeats, more tentative this time.
Nope, nope, eeenope. Nopony is getting in here tonight.
The third time, the knocking comes from inside Twilight’s wardrobe.
Nopony except the one pony that she needs to keep out.
Twilight raises her head weakly from the pillow, bleary and tear-filled eyes focussing on the wardrobe door. The hoof that lands gently on her withers should make her scream in shock, but honestly she’d have been more shocked if it hadn’t been there.
“P-Pinkie.”
“Oh, Twilight.”
There’s a sympathy in Pinkie’s voice that Twilight isn’t expecting; it’s enough to make her turn over to face her interloper with hope that she can apologise, can make things right. Pinkie is sitting on the edge of the bed in that weird way Lyra sometimes uses, her eyes full of nothing but concern.
“I’m so sorry, Twilight. I mean, it just came as a surprise, you know? And I mean, normally I love surprises, especially when it means I can bake a huuuuuge cake and throw a party and –“
The baker breaks off and smiles with something like chagrin. It looks so odd an expression on her that Twilight can only hypothesise that she’s being totally serious. She opens her mouth to speak, only to have Pinkie’s hoof move to still whatever abject apologies she was going to make.
“I was surprised, Twilight, that’s all. I wasn’t offended, I wasn’t unwilling, and I most certainly don’t think it’s icky or wrong.” Pinkie bends to pick up a mangled Hearts and Hooves Day card from its place of abandonment beside the bed, pushing aside the incomplete checklist it sits under. “And – and if you want to give it to me again, it’ll be the bestest surprise EV-er.”
PinkieLight/TwiPie doesn't even exist, marks off for that.
That so doesn't sound like Pinkie Pie.
D'awww.
I think I need to go have a cold shower now.
I guess I have a dirty mind because I immediately thought of Twilight being trapped in some bondage restraints, and Pinkie 'helping' her out.
151031
It's called Twinkie, you ditz.
151038
I was running out of time at the end; but still, Pinkie was going to have to be serious at some point in the conversation or she'd end up making it worse.
151092
Thanks!
151122
Well, who can truly say how Pinkie Pie works.
151141
Wellll, true; but that's a bit of a cop out. I'm going to have to do more Pinkie study, I think.
151122
You're just making stuff up now. Why you gotta lie, Starfall?
151309
All the best Pinkie ships need to be named after sweets or desserts, miscreant.
151347
Pinkie ships don't exist!
151380
i1268.photobucket.com/albums/jj567/Starfalltheunicorn/Untitled.jpg
Where is your god now?
151388
memberfiles.freewebs.com/46/53/71725346/photos/Half-Life-2/Trezino/Lyra%20OhYou.jpg
I know right?
What is this ship I don't even?
Fun twist though.
151768
Hee, thank you!
I should mention that the prompter, Baby Seal Burritos, had this to say:
Aww. Way to take the prompt and bend it to make it yours! I am always pleased when someone approaches things from a new angle, and I think that you did just that by having Twilight’s “injury” be a broken heart that only Pinkie can mend. Bravo! I liked the detail of Pinkie knocking from inside the wardrobe. That was marvelous. I also really liked the “itching spell” as I can see that being a viable spell. The dialogue was done well, and I think you stayed in character. So good show! Thanks for submitting!