Jun
13th
2014
What I hate about writing. · 10:12am Jun 13th, 2014
You write your story/chapter. Cool. You then go about polishing and polishing and polishing. You then send that story to scores of pre-readers, who polish and polish and polish. Then you send it to editors, who polish and polish and polish. You then go about yourself again, polish AND POLISH AND FUCKING POLISH. Satisfied, you submit it to EQD, and relax.
Then a month later, you read the first paragraph and WHAT THE FUCK DOES THIS EVEN MEAN THIS IS NOT EVEN ENGLISH!?
Never before has my avatar been more appropriate in a blog post of mine...
Um...maybe I can help translate the EQD speech? *nervous*
Sadly, I've never made it quite that far. I shall sympathize with your misery, though.
When I hate my work the most is when I'm in the middle of writing it. I'm just sitting there, trying to type out the ideas in my head, but there's this voice. This voice that is constantly telling me "Wow, that's bad. That's like, legitimately terrible. There's probably normal people out there who could actually attempt to write as badly as you're writing right now, and they wouldn't succeed. Because it's that bad. You're that bad at this."
Man, I hate that guy.
(All the while realizing that he is, in fact, me).
But when I come back to my work later I think, "OK, so maybe it isn't THAT bad. This is kind of OK."
"How?!?"
"We're sorry sir."
"How did that paragraph get by the SCORE of you that pre-read my work?!
A dozen plus, thought to be intelligent souls, who's SOUL purpose to help me tell my story and NOT sound like an idiot. So WHY after reading the comments I see some asshole I've never heard of or interacted with in my entire writing career can not only SEE the problem but point it out a half hour after posting the chapter?!?!
"No idea sir."
"Celestia ALMIGHTY what do I pay you people for?!?
"You don't sir."
"Fine! No Christmas bonus then!"
"You don't . . .nevermind sir. The problem will be addressed."
"See that it is! And get out of my office!"
"This is a Skype chat. . ."
"Out! Idiots! I'm surrounded by idiots."
"Well, you are in your room alone. . ."
"OUT!"
2203402 They haven't replied yet. I just looked at it for a second and saw it.
2203494 That voice is a monster. I advice ignoring editing and even that backspace all together while writing. Deal with that part later.
2203553 This... is more true than you can imagine. Except the "sir" part. They don't even pretend like they have that much respect for me.
2204115 Ouch. Well, you can just resubmit and tell us you did updates. Though I think I just saw a response go out so you may be in luck.
2204115
I'm just familiar with your writing style/personality from your stories and blogs.
The sir's were thrown in for comedic effect.
2204299 No problem. I would just hold you hostage next time I submit it, but I know the monsters that run that site wouldn't negotiate with me.
2205858 Honestly, add in a few dick joke and f-bombs and this is a copy paste of what I sent out to a few people. And me crying. Don't forget the crying.
2205874 I kinda figured as much but if I did it word for word you might suspect those cameras I installed. . .Cameras? What cameras? No one said anything about any cameras!
And are we not supposed to cry over our writings when they eat up a whole weekend and you have to scrap 9/10ths of it because your rum fueled writing binge clashes both cannonically and thematically with your previous chapters. Just me? Okay then.
2205874 Nah, we protect our own, they'd send a swat team after you. Plus I'm way too cute for you to be mean too right?