An Honest Review of Rio 2 by a Fan and a Brony: · 6:05pm Jun 6th, 2014

Now, this is something I've thought about doing for some time, but unadulterated rage finally made me start this. On occasion, I'm going to be reviewing books, movies, stories, fanfics, whatever from my perspective and posting it here.
I was a big fan of Rio the original when it came out, let me just preface this review by saying. A BIG fan. Like, that was what started me on my dark and dangerous quest into the internet, fanfiction, and eventually, ponies, and yes, pony fanfiction. So my hopes were high when I went to go see this movie with my little cousins yesterday.
I was excited when that screen lit up.
All I can say is: I was disappointed. So disappointed. And angry.
Now, don’t get me wrong: It was a decent kid movie, and it did what it aimed for. The problem was, they aimed oh so very low compared to what it could have been.
Let’s just look at the first Rio: Take an issue that most Americans (and most people) in fact, don’t really know about but is a problem and choose that to give attention to and make a conflict. Then, give it an eminently relatable, nerdy, bad-at-socializing main character that has plenty of flaws, plus other main and secondary characters that were weird enough to be interesting and funny. Add an interesting setting that isn’t used as much as it should in American movies. Stir in villains with some humanization and relatability, especially that kid. That orphan kid who just wrenches at your heartstrings with the scene where he goes to his little shelter on the tin roofs of Rio de Janiero.
Place on top of a great soundtrack that blended a great orchestral score with the addition of Brazilian instruments, some nice Brazilian songs (Mas Que Nada and Samba de Orly, anyone?) and, just to put some sprinkles on top, that earworm by will.i.am and Jaime Foxx (At last count, on my PC, 500-something plays, and a couple hundred more on my Ipod) and that incredible credit song by Taio Cruz.
Now, that dog was still the worst part of the film for me (unnecessary character there) but it was OK because he was only there for 5-10 minutes.
And let’s not forget the nice little touch (not a video, just a little touch) at the very end of the credits that absolutely everyone missed (except for me!). Go look at it. I won’t spoil it for you.

Now, for the sequel: The music had some very, very nice callbacks to the first film (especially in the first 30-45 minutes or so), but the original songs lacked the catchy tone of the first film and felt more forced and less smooth; less talented, for that matter. And towards the end, it was like John Powell (the composer for the movie) had given up entirely on new songs and simply remastered the original soundtrack. Even the first credit song was a remaster of a song from the original. And a remaster that wasn’t as good, at that.
The original protagonists were mostly still strong, with a bit of inevitable Flanderization, with the exception of the annoying dog whom they absolutely had to bring back and give exactly the same role as the last film (Nothing important), but nearly every single one of the new characters was an overly-stereotyped, over-the-top flat character.
Nigel’s new (shudder) paramour is a tree frog who is overly obsessed. Also, she’s poisonous, so she can never touch anyone. And that’s it, as far as character. Oh yes, she’s also an opera singer; I can’t even comprehend why she was there. I don’t even know. Remove her, and the anteater for that matter, and I honestly don’t see what would have needed big changes.
The anteater was OK, but only because he never spoke a single word and was obviously the comic relief villain.
The logging business owner? A big, fat, white guy with a mustache who’s evil because “I’m a fat white guy who hates nature and wants that money!” Also likes Tootsie Pops, for some reason. I hate villians that are evil because they’re evil. Like that Sombra dude.
The dad? Typical “hates his daughter’s significant other and prefers other guy” stereotype. Also overly dramatic.
The “other guy?” Played by Bruno Mars for some reason. Is the “athletic and now attractive childhood friend that she remeets later when they’re not children, and makes main love interest jealous” stereotype to a T. Honestly, they couldn’t have made a more John Doe character had they tried; or a more annoying and makes-you-want-to-kill-them character. It made me very glad that Flash Sentry completely lacked a personality and was super bland, because if he had turned out like this fellow, I would have thrown my remote through the television and left this fandom in disgust.
The kids? Typical children-who-like-explosions-and-are-devils-in-disguise. Simply take away that, while staying with their core personalities, and they would have been much better, less stereotypical children.
Plus, it had a BBBFF-type reveal. Suddenly, Jewel had a family, that was taken from her by loggers—which no one had ever mentioned, or even hinted or insinuated about, up until they actually met said family whom hadn’t actually died. The emotional scene between her and her Dad might have been a bit touching, if I hadn’t been asking, “What? She had a family? Loggers? Since when?” and generally WTFing all over the place.
The plot was stale and too similar to far too many other movies nowadays, though the side plot with Linda and Tulio was well-thought out and interesting, with a couple good lines. The main plot, however? Utterly and eminently predictable, up to the last moment. There were very few to no surprises in the entire movie. And Nigel (The original, actually good villain from the first one) wasn’t as funny and much more hammy, which meant that the movie suffered as a whole from it. The one-liners as a whole just weren’t as good.
Blu came across at times as whiny instead of the original scared-of-everything nerd type, which was done well in the first movie.
So, all in all, I give it a 5/10 rating. Meh. Meh meh meh meh meh. It had a lot of potential given the first film, and could have gone so much better. But it was this predictable, out-of-the-box plot which they went with, and the results were easy to see.
Conclusion? That dreaded disease, sequelitis, strikes with a vengeance.

(P.S. And what happened to the kid? He showed up once—ONCE— in the movie. And his adoptive parents are traipsing around in the Amazon for who knows how long—what was he doing the entire movie? Sitting alone in his house in Brazil watching soccer? It was a waste of possibly the best-humanized and realistic character in the first movie to give him no more than a cameo.)

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