• Member Since 15th Mar, 2013
  • offline last seen Nov 21st, 2016

TheFIMguru


I'm that teen-aged Yorkshireman with the vast collection of hats and a pair of mutton chops.

More Blog Posts37

  • 517 weeks
    The new story has landed!

    I can't remember if this site informs followers when new stories have been made, I've been away for so long. Instead of researching this, I have decided that it is a better use of my time to inform you this way. Do not question me.

    You can find the story here.

    That's all for now, folks. This is TheFIMguru, signing off.

    1 comments · 418 views
  • 517 weeks
    New story inbound

    On one of my drunken misadventures I wrote a short gangster-esque thing revolving around the Apple Family, just over 1000 words. I ended up polishing it a bit and giving it some more thought, bringing it up to FiMFic standard. I thought it would be a good idea to tag it "Dark" since there'll definitely be some grim subjects cropping up later, but for now it's just some mild blood and gore.

    Read More

    1 comments · 338 views
  • 517 weeks
    Nobody tongues my anus but me!

    I have a stupid friend who likes to mess around with my computer while I'm not in the room. This friend is an irritating git who, for some strange reason, I happen to like enough to not pummel him for the blog post he posted yesterday on my account. Nobody tongues my anus but me, nobody!!!

    I'm changing my password.

    Read More

    1 comments · 402 views
  • 524 weeks
    So... I just uploaded EVERY song I haven't published yet.

    Just what it says on the tin! I uploaded another... six new songs? That's a total of ten now. They're only on Soundcloud at the moment since it's such a hassle to get YouTube to cooperate, but free downloads are enabled, as usual. Go check it out if you like. It's a mix of smooth, relaxing instrumental stuff and electronic idiocy. Enjoy!

    Read More

    0 comments · 356 views
  • 525 weeks
    Another song upload.

    Just uploaded another song. It's been a while since I last made an upload so I didn't bother wasting time with the voting and just picked one at random. It's only on Soundcloud at the moment since I'm ill and can't be bothered to spend ages getting it ready for YouTube. Anyways, sorry about all the clipping at the beginning. Did as much as I could about that, but it wasn't enough. :/

    Read More

    0 comments · 333 views
May
31st
2014

The new story has landed! · 7:55pm May 31st, 2014

I can't remember if this site informs followers when new stories have been made, I've been away for so long. Instead of researching this, I have decided that it is a better use of my time to inform you this way. Do not question me.

You can find the story here.

That's all for now, folks. This is TheFIMguru, signing off.

Report TheFIMguru · 418 views · Story: The Apple "Family" ·
Comments ( 1 )

What the HECK did you just FLIPPING say about me, you little TRUANT? I’ll have you know I graduated top of my class in the BIBLE SCHOOL, and I’ve been involved in numerous secret raids on BAD LANGUAGE, and I have over 300 confirmed TELLINGS OFF. I am trained in CENSORSHIP and I’m the top WRIST SLAPPER in the entire MUMSNET. You are nothing to me but just another target. I will wipe you the HECK out with precision the likes of which has never been seen before on this Earth, mark my FLIPPING words. You think you can get away with saying that FOUL LANGUAGE to me over the Internet? Think again, DEGENERATE. As we speak I am contacting my secret network of MOTHERS across the USA and your IP is being traced right now so you better prepare for the storm, BAD INFLUENCE. The storm that wipes out the pathetic little thing you call your VOCABULARY. You’re FLIPPING CORRECTED, kid. I can be anywhere, anytime, and I can CENSOR you in over seven hundred ways, and that’s just with my bare hands. Not only am I extensively trained in BLEEPING OUT SWEARS, but I have access to the entire arsenal of MUMSNET and I will use it to its full extent to wipe your miserable BOTTOM off the face of the continent, you little FOOL. If only you could have known what unholy retribution your little “clever” comment was about to bring down upon you, maybe you would have held your FLIPPING tongue. But you couldn’t, you didn’t, and now you’re paying the price, you BIG MEANY. I will BLEEP all over you and you will drown in it. You’re FLIPPING CENSORED, kiddo.

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