WHAT TO HECK IS A SWEET 16 · 5:51am May 20th, 2014
Howdy all you hooligans, visitors, loyal followers, passerbyers!
Finally, I can smell the sweet 16 in the air, and let me tell you, it smells like sweaty teenagers who are lusting for pizza and sex. Today, I become one of them. HOOAH!
Kidding, kidding! In all reality, it smells like the American tradition of literally stuffing yourself sick with food and partying with friends! What a time to be alive -
[muffled bugles play in the distance] & if you don't believe me, that's what America sounds like. Trust me. I'm a 100% certified American.
I know most of you already passed 16, but let me remind you of a few tips of things you should do on your birthdays, regardless of age.
-- NEVER wear your birthday suit in public. I did that the day I was born, and let me tell you, I think that's mostly why everyone in the room cried. (Now privately, that's another thing)
-- Don't tell people not to get you anything. /HELLO/ B)
-- Get enough sleep the night before. Seriously, how are you going to party all night if you can't stay awake all day?
-- WEAR THE CUTEST DAMN THING BECAUSE HOT DAMN DO YOU DESERVE IT
-- PIG OUT MOTHERFUCKER YOU EARNED IT
-- Rip your shirt off and start beating your chest like a Tarzan. That's one way to make sure you get the most attention hell yeAH
-- Bring me as many balloons to lift my house like in "Up". I 2000% guarantee you that's how teenage girls celebrate their birthday. Trust me on this one.
-- Put a stripper in a cake. No questions. Just do it.
And that, my friends, is how you celebrate a birthday right.
Obligatory pony meme:
...fantastic.
Shall we?
Let the celebration begin! PARTY R O C K
Cheers!
Love,
your big fuckin' nerd B)
Do me proud. Celebrate sassy & classy. & most importantly? Dress like Magic Mike. It always does the trick.
Hot damn those were the days
I'm so turned on by this post.
fc02.deviantart.net/fs71/f/2014/136/e/7/twilight_sparkle_top_unf_blushing_reaction_swe_by_chaoticnote-d7in4yf.png
2128268 Good, my job here is done.
2128254 Ahhh.... I remember those days... I never got either....
Way ahead of you, Hannah
But I'm not cute, I'm handsome. Handsome people don't wear cute clothes. It doesn't suit them.
Congratulations and happy birthday!
Happy birphday!
Happy birthday.
Is it wrong that I got aroused by this slightly ?
happy b day gurl
Happy birthday!
Happy birthday.
Whoa, it's been awhile.
Happy Birthday!
Oh youth, it passes by so quickly. One moment, you are barely walking, the next, you need someone to take care of you in the hospital. Wait, that is poor decision making. Anyway, happy birthday to you good mam, and welcome to the new age.
Happyyyyyy Birthday!
*Hugs*
Make so many Wishes that if they all come true you will rule the world!
*Celebrate!*
Magic Mike always does trick. ALWAYS.
Happy Birthday, and enjoy it to the fullest!