Spring is Dumb - A story you should read · 7:29pm May 18th, 2014
HoofBitingActionOverload just posted what is by far the best RariDash story ever written. Even if you don't ship them - even if you don't ship at all - the story is absolutely hilarious. And you should read it. Now.
The whole thing is written (I was (one of) his editors), but I think he's holding back the second half for dramatic effect, or maybe just to avoid people choking when they try to gobble the whole thing down in one sitting because it is so good and then laugh at one of the later bits, getting it stuck in their metaphorical throats, resulting in asphysxiation and death before they get to the end of the story and upvote it. Plus, you know, a bunch of dead bodies with smiles frozen on their faces, lying dead next to their computers with ponies on the screen might be awkward to explain. Metaphorically speaking, of course.
Seriously, look at this:
Rainbow Dash stomped through the Ponyville market, glowering and glaring at everything and everyone, and thoughtfully considered the importance of grounding oneself. Because Rainbow Dash put thoughtful consideration into things all the time, and she made sure to glare at everypony she saw who might dare think otherwise.
A young, fit, snazzy, totally hot, totally smart, definitely-not-a-simpleton could know little for absolute certain among the confusion and disorder of life. Grounding oneself was important. Not literally. That would be terrible. Rainbow Dash glared extra hard at the guy who sold bananas to show him how terrible it would be. Metaphorically or symbolically, or maybe both. They were probably the same thing.
With all the uncertainty in the world, it was important to ground oneself by picking out one thing in all the disorder and confusion that one could know for sure was real. It had to be something utterly, undeniably true. A rock on which one could steady oneself in times of worry and adversity. It had to be the one unchanging principle that defined one’s entire life.
Rainbow Dash’s one life-defining principle was that she was definitely not a barbarous, uncivilized dolt who didn’t know polite conversation from a hippopotamus’s rear end.
You can read the whole thing here.
You weren't his only editor, TD.
2122543
I know. But I don't know who ELSE edited it. No one tells me anything.
2122549
I'm sorry.
No but seriously how good is this story.
2122584
Very. That's why I made this blog post advertising it.
Gotta send all my cool followers over to read his story.
Wow.
You're being unfathomably nice to this story. Thank you so much!
Really. This is awesome. You've made my entire month.
2122972
I really liked this story! It would be a crime not to promote it.
Especially given the general "meh" reaction to RariDash stories. Given this is the only one I've read (which I can recall, anyway) which I actually enjoyed (and I enjoyed it greatly), I figured it should be given a leg up.