I'm Very Glad Joss Whedon Doesn't Write Ponies · 4:30pm May 11th, 2014
Saw the Season 4 finale and it was made of YAY (RIP Golden Oaks), but prior to watching, I got all twitchy.
"What- What if something... bad happened?" I said, after we finished Equestria Games and started talking about the Finale.
"Like what?" Jess asked.
"I dunno... Bad!" I replied. Visions of Magical Mystery Cure and all its curve balls swam through my head along with the knowledge that I just became okay with that episode only two or three weeks ago.
Jess gave me a look like I not only lost my marbles, but upon finding them tried to eat them. "January, it's a show for little kids," she said. "Everything brought up is gonna be resolved, everyone's gonna be okay, stop panicking."
"I can't," I replied, curling up a bit on the couch. "It's like there's this dread and worry and-" I stopped, realization hitting me like a custard pie.
"And?"
"Ugh. Agents of SHIELD feels leaked into my ponies," I said, rolling my eyes. I shook my head. "No, no, you're right, I'm cool. The finale'll be okay." Not that I truly believed this, but I knew it wouldn't be as bad as I worried it would be.
"Heh, yeah. Joss Whedon doesn't write ponies," Jess replied.
"Oh, Luuuuuuna, what if he did." My eyes went wide with terror.
"Fluttershy'd be dead. Bam, gone," Jess said, slapping her hands together.
"Why- Oh. Oh yeah, she's just cute and harmless. But what about Pinkie?"
Jess shook her head. "Nah, she's more like a River Tam character. Just darken her up a bit and boom. Whedon bulletproof."
I nodded. "Yeah, yeah... And Rarity would have an illness or she'd get pregnant. Then her actress would randomly be written out of the show. Not out of spite, of course."
"Of course," Jess replied. "Hmmm. If Pinkie is River, then Fluttershy's Wash..."
"Twilight's Mal," I said.
"Rarity's Inara. Or Simon!"
"Yes!" I replied. "She's plenty fastidious for Simon! AJ's Zoe?"
"I was thinking more Kaylee."
I giggled. "Totally! I approve."
"Rainbow is Jayne," we both said at the same time, then laughed.
Lapsing into contemplative silence, I said, "Is that all of them?"
"Yeah," Jess said. "Who else could we get?"
"Secondary characters," I said. "OOOO! Big Mac as Zoe! All quiet like and has Twilight's back and yes!"
Jess made a noise of agreement.
"What about Book?"
"Zecora," Jess said, simply.
"Kind of... Okay. Yeah. I see it. Awkward implications, but it fits." I snorted at the mental image of Pinkie having a spaz over Zecora's mohawk.
We changed Netflix over to Mythbusters at that point, but after a minute, I said, "Firefly: Friendship is Magic would make me cry forever."
Jess grinned at me. "I'd comfort you in a manly fashion, my love."
So yeah, whatever your finale thoughts are, at least be happy Joss Whedon isn't writing it!
Wow. Not that I have a horse in the race, but I think this is the first time I've ever heard an argument against Whedon writing everything. Doesn't that go against the Ten Geek Commandments?
(Got warned off of Agents early. Starting to think maybe those people weren't crazy.)
You and Jess are still adorable
Just woke up and I'm messing around with this tablet again -- after that I'll respond to PMs, promise-romise.
2100871
For all that I'm gumdrops and silliness, my preferences really belie a non-standard, atypical set of tastes. I'm the worst geek ever once you get to talk to me.
Take your time with the PMs! I know you've been busy and you have your new Cool Thing (which is very cool!). I'm just in post-finale vomit mode where I must share with AS MANY PEOPLE AS POSSIBLE WHO WILL LISTEN OML.
2100871
There's a lot of things Whedon can't do, I just find he's been good about sticking to things he can. Haven't seen Agents of SHIELD, though.
I don't pay attention to directors or actors, I only care about STORIES.
Still, I've heard Whedon's name. Wasn't he that.... guy?
2102803
Yeah. He did... that thing.
2102803
He did Avengers, Agents of SHIELD, Doctor Horrible's Sing-Along Blog, and Firefly, just to name a few of the things he's done.
But even though he's done such fantastic stuff, I'm gonna have to go with nanashi on this one; Whedon should stay well away from ponies, otherwise we'll be seeing more than a few deaths and betrayals. I mean COME ON! He turned one of the best characters in Agents of SHIELD a member of HYDRA mid-way through the first season! If that's not one of the most annoying plot twists in the history of plot twists, then I don't know what is. But I digress, let's just say that I agree with this blog and leave it at that.