Not dead! · 1:56pm Mar 29th, 2014
Hello my readers delightful and darling!
I know it has been a while. I am, it must be said, terrible. In my defense, my job is murder, my health is nonexistent, and I procrastinate on the Olympic level.
But I'm not writing this just to tell you all that I am alive and then slink back into work and silence like I usually do, no, no I'm writing this to tell you that, by way of an apology for my prolonged absence I have prepared two new chapters for Obiter Dicta. Well. New-ish. One of them, you see, if "Hoofprints" which I posted in gDocs form some months back, except this is a tightened up, edited and improved[1] version. The other is a brand new short story starring Leafy Salad doing what he does best. The new chapters should be along within a day or two, depending on how editing goes.
Further, I have a question: Being as busy as I am, I can't promise anything like a consistent story schedule. That said I could try to blog more frequently[2] if people are interested in the occasional blog where I rant at you all about whichever unlikely thing is on my mind at any given moment. I absolutely cannot promise the sort of brilliant, well written, and not infrequently provocative blogs produced regularly by the likes of Bad Horse because I lack his colossal and possibly preternatural intellect[3]. I can promise I'll have more footnotes than he does.
So, anyone interested?
[1] There's even a technical error that got fixed. I'd say it wasn't exactly rocket science except, of course, that's precisely what it was.
[2] Which is to say at all.
[3] Rumors that he can start fires by willpower alone, and that he can function as a Halting Oracle[4] remain unsubstantiated but likely.
[4] Which, aside from being a CS term, would make a killer book title.
Heck yeah I'm interested! I always enjoy reading your stuff, no matter how little actual content you manage to get away with. More story updates would of course be ideal, but in the interim blog posts would make an entirely adequate substitute.
More writing from you would be pretty neat, even if it's blog stuff instead of story stuff.
Maybe, but it would really wear on your patience to listen to one.
"And b-b-beware, the Ides..."
"*Gaaasp* I knew it! The Ides have it!"
"... o-of March, b-because..."
"Why! Why must we beware the Ides in March of all months?!"
"y-your ... y-your.. f- ff- fff- "
"By Zeus, out with it already! It'll be the Ides of April by the time you finish this damned prophecy!"
"I-I think I need some air!"
"Ohhh no you don't. Somebody hold her over that vent!"
Second what MSPiper and Singularity Dream said, given that your writing is always a treat. Besides, I'll take any thin chance I can get for more ECS goodness!
Oh dear, your footnotes are growing footnotes now. Would that make them toenotes?
Blogs are good. :B I like blogs.
I'd love to read more of your stuff, but that puts you on the spot about what to write about.
Suggestion: find something interesting on the Intarwebs, link to it in your blog, and say something geeky about it.
Hey--works for BoingBoing!
You need not gain more intellect to write world-class fimfiction blogs. Your blogs are already brilliant and provocative simply because it's you who is writing them. Just being unique puts you in a league all your own.
Really, you should just make blogs composed entirely of footnotes.
(I apologize for the absence of comedic footnotes here. I tried... and failed.[Contrived joke about how no one and mathematicians like(s?) nested brackets.])
I see now that the rumors of your death were greatly exaggerated. [1]
I suspect that your comparison of yourself to Bad Horse is – if not simple modesty on your part – perhaps an unfair one to make. [2] I would love to see you blog more, as well as to see new story efforts by you.
[1] I hereby refuse to apologize for this, as the title and thrust of your commentary clearly invited its inclusion. So there!
[2] After giving much thought to this – all of 2 seconds or so – I've come to the conclusion that Bad Horse is, of course, an alien being of immense intellect, clearly trapped here with us by accident and awaiting rescue while his race strives to complete it's long work on an FTL drive, or an inter-dimensional portal, whichever comes first and doesn't actually negate both universes. [3]
[3] Divide by zero, guys! It's probably the only way.
Footnotes make up for any crime, but so far as I can see you have in any case committed none. Perhaps if you go and do some crimes, then you can make up for them with footnotes?
I like more blogs!
A living ghost? How bizarre!
And by all means, post more blogs. That way I can get a glimpse of
what's wrongthe brain behind the horse words.My brain automatically completed the title with "... But Dreaming."
More blogs would be fine, just don't push yourself at the cost of further delays to your story writing.
But yes, more of your (patent pending) Blog Posts of Entertainment Most Horrifying would be most welcome if you feel up to them.
Sure, I'm interested in your blog posts. I don't promise to comment, though...
Glad to hear about "Hoofprints".
Well, I certainly don't want to add any undue pressure on you, to put you in a spot where now you feel you have to write blogs and stories, or else you're being neglectful, but...I say blogs. But only if it's as they come to your mind, rather than feeling you have to write about something. I don't know much about your schedule, but from what you say I doubt you need another assignment on top of things. So as long as it's not another task, do the blogs!
I will cheerfully read any-, and dare I say every-, thing you happen to write. But I don't want to add counterproductive pressure, either. Best count this a vote for more of you writing, in whatever form that happens to take.
(Have you ever contemplated an interword footnote before?)
An error in Hoofprints?
Nooo.
Should I update?
Now, there's a word for someone who's job is murder, isn't there? But, I thought you were in computer science. Aren't you?
Do you feel blogging will aid you in writing faster?
Do you feel blogging will make you feel better?
If the answer to both those questions is no, then probably best to avoid it. Otherwise, I'm all ... eyes?
As long as it's what you want, and if it won't have an adverse effect on you, then I would love to see more blogs from you. You have a fun to read writing style and possess a wealth of knowledge so I imagine that you will make interesting any topic you choose to right about.
**Edit: Oh god, that last sentence. I wrote that sentence in front of a master wordsmith. My apologies, if you will only let me go hide myself in shame.
Also, the problem with stream-of-consciousness blogging is this:
Either our lives are dynamic and stressful, or they aren't (duh). If they aren't, one's blog posts trend towards "I ate food today!" "Isn't this the funniest video?" "Gosh, you'll never believe what my cat did!" If they are (and mine is--just ask Bad Horse), then one tends to blog FEAR! ANGER! SORROW! REPEAT! Both are rather wearing on the casual observer.
So let me dissent from Ms Winfrey's book club and say: don't be yourself. Be the person you would like to be. Show the world what you would be if you were perfectly at your ease and on your game, especially if you aren't.
You'll find that it doesn't take much: an event, an observation, a discovery briefly related, as you might to a girl at a party (the essence of performance art is seduction).
"The first duty in life is to be as artificial as possible. What the second duty is no one has as yet discovered." --Oscar Wilde. Or HAL 9000.
Feel better and whatever you deign to post, I'll read.
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This, same.
I wish Hoofprints were its own story, because I like it too much to see it buried in Obiter Dicta. Ah, well.
*Cheers* Always a pleasure to hear you're still about. As for more blogs I think I speak alongside others in that I'd be interested in hearing what sorts of thoughts percolate through your mind. As for intellect and eloquence, I wouldn't worry too much. As you pointed out, footnotes make everything better.
I think it is time to grab a pencil case for abstract colors because somebody ought to color me interested for more of these fascinating blogs of yours. Although, of course, your health (and I take the liberty of speaking for everyone here) is more important to us than regular writs from you (however a close second it may be). Recover soon so that many a wonderful tales can be woven by you and admired by us!
Oh, am I late to the party?
Well, footnotes are well and good (truly they are) but I find myself still very comfortable (to an alarming (but not sexual) degree) with the parenthesis joke (both open and closed (and obtrusively extended (though I feel that really is part of the joke (dear lord how bad is this one getting? ( I wonder if this annoys a programmer who reads this (probably))))))
IT'S ALIVE!
Don't worry about me either...I'll read the stories as I can. I'm super busy, so I've been slacking lately on my FIM:Fiction reading...it's been making me cry.
But at least I have stuff to look forward to!
1963961
I've met Bad Horse, and while I cannot reveal his true nature to you I am at liberty to say that he is short, white, erudite, and wears glasses and a stylish bow tie.
I can neither confirm nor deny rumors of a tail.
1970008
That explains SO MUCH!
And besides, on the internet...
1970031
Seriously, go see the movie. You know the part where he explains his Analytics of Humor to Leonardo da Vinci? I was thinking the scriptwriters are reading Bad Horse's blog!
Innat a a pip? HAW HAW HAW HAW haw...haw?...
... wait---why aren't you...laughing?...
He's right behind me, isn't he?