A Deer, a Cat, a Car, a Road · 2:29am Mar 9th, 2014
I had to borrow a car
to take my cat
to the vet's office
to be put down
today
That was at the top
of my hill
on the road
that runs
through the fields
of my childhood
that are now strewn
with cheap
pre-fabricated
homes
When I returned to my home,
to my quiet,
empty,
house
halfway up the hill
on the road
where cars drive too fast,
I placed the light,
empty
cat carrier
in the middle
of the living room
and then drove my car
bucking,
snorting,
sick
down
deep,
vomiting effluent
to the mechanic at the bottom of the hill
where the stream
meets the road
As I walked back up
the hill
on the road
where the cars drive too fast
I stood over a puddle
of blood
where a deer
had been hit
by one of the manure trucks
that come over the hill,
blaring their horns,
and leaving their stench to linger
across what was once the fields
that they had serviced
but now
held large, clinical homes
where the owners
yell at meetings
about the smell of the nearby farms
in the spring
A front-end loader
rumbles by
holding the victim
in its rusting bucket,
The deer's eyes are open
just like my cat's
eyes
had been
as I
rubbed his ears
and
told him
that he was
a good boy
The deer was limp as it bounced
in the bucket,
being taken to
the landfill
It bounced
like my
little
black
cat
when the vet
had finished his injection
and lifted him away from me
My mind raced
there
in the road
searching
to make an analogy
a euphemism
as the tears
rolled down my face
again
about how
the blood
and
the manure
will mix
in the thawing snow
and make new life spring up
in the fields
beyond the road
But all that my mind will allow
me
to see,
and all
this
empty
house
shows me,
is a
shit-strewn reality
where
an
empty
house,
without
the
little
black
cat,
sits beside
a road
where
cars drive too fast
and deer
die
and
leave
red puddles
in the
snow
-T.D.
I genuinely hope this is fiction
I certainly would be a jibbering wreck after a day like that
I am so, so sorry for your loss TD.
..I'm sad now :/
Beautiful. Sorry about your cat.
Lost my childhood cat... gosh, it's been nearly a year and a half, now.
She was the best.
It feels like the end of such a huge chapter of your life, when you lose a pet that's been with you through some shit.
Hugs, TD, hugs.
Fuck. I'm sorry, Descy. Wish I could say more, or do something to help. Just know I'll say a prayer for ya, and know if there's ever anything you need, I'm here.
Let us know if we can do anything for you, T.D.
This really hit me, due to some recent events...thank you.
I'm very sorry about your cat. This poem really made me cry
My feels have been hit in their most vulnerable area.
So sad to hear about your loss. If there's anything I can do for you let me know.
It's okay to be close to tearing up, right?
*hugs tightly*
If you need to talk... we're here.
Oh, jeez.
that hurts in a place which I doubt will ever heal. It hurt when my dog died, it hurt when my hamster died. I has hurt when various grandparents have died and will hurt again in the future.
You do not forget, but try to remember the good.
Not going to say I know what you're going through, but I remember when my first dog had to be put down because of cancer. That was... not a pleasant experience. I'm sorry, T.D.
I lost my cat a few years ago, she was in to much pain. she was blind, deaf and hardly living. Yet, when we took her in to be put down, she meowed and showed life, it was to late to turn around though, she took two injections before passing away. She was my first pet and was the most tolerant and patient cat I have ever seen.
R.I.P to your cat T.D
I cried. :(
Bless that little black cat, and all the best to yourself, sir, in the coming days.
My own cat I've had for like, 11-12 years now is gettin' up there in years. Her age is showing and it's really gonna kill me when she goes.
So sorry. It's never easy. It doesn't really get easier, but it gets less difficult. It sounds callous or flippant, but after a week or two, a new kitten (or new cat) does help. Brings life back to the house.
Well, that's one hell of a day.
Sorry, I want to say something helpful, but I can't imagine what.
Take care, man. Best wishes.
I'm sorry for your loss.
Ahh damn, TD. Suddenly in my head I'm taken back to four years ago when I lost my cat Elizabeth, and I can barely hold back the tears.
*hugs tightly*
...Well...
This hit hard...
...You gonna be ok...?
~Skeeter The Lurker
I wish I had words that would matter in a time like this. All I have is, I'm sorry for your loss.
I...I'm so sorry. I wish there was more for me to say but I just feel empty right now. All I can do is wish you the best and pray.
Stay awesome, even when it seems impossible.
God, why do I have to be that guy? I curse my bluntness sometimes, this is one of those times.
I've never had a real pet. Therefore, I cannot really say 'I understand' when it comes to having to say good bye to a lifelong companion. I have seen friends affected by this, and I know that it hurts people deep. Any words of consolation I could offer would be hollow and meaningless.
That said, this post was really difficult to read. Not on an emotional level, but on a physical level. Were you attempting a kind of prose I am not familiar with, or was this simply an expression of your grief?
You don't need to answer me, and I am quite sure many a person here will think ill of me for my apparent lack of empathy, but such is the choice I made.
In time, all wounds will mend;
-Lumino
Just, damn dude.
I know that feeling.
Pulverized dead deer mixed with shit? fucking metal
Sorry for you loss man
No amount of words could really alleviate the loss of a beloved animal, but that doesn't mean its worth a try. I am so sorry for your loss, but I hope you know your little black cat is in a better place, and waiting to see you again. Remember your cat for the good I'm sure he/she brought, and not for the tragic last days.
I....feel.....empty..
That was a very perfect description of a day where you wished had never come. Excellent job, and I will add my empty words to everyone else's piled here.
1910115 It's called concrete poetry, I believe. A hard style to master for certain.
1910115 Oh, and another things: Why bother vocalizing what you know is a callous statement to a person in a situation you can't empathize or at least attempt to sympathize with? It seems rather immature and attention-grabby.
I'm sorry, I'm so so sorry. I had to put down a pet I loved very much a few months ago and I know how much it hurts. And,this is cliche, but the pain will fade, it'll fade so much that you'll almost forget about it. But you will never forget about that little black cat and how happy he or she made you. And one day months from now you'll be able to look at his favorite sleep spot and not feel sorrow but joy that you got to share a life with him
Our family dogs, Lucky and Snow, are getting pretty advanced in age. Their coats have lost their sheen, they cannot run as far as they once could, and they have their share of bumps and begnin tumors. We don't expect them to see this, or if they are lucky, next Christmas.
I cannot rightly say I know how an adult accepts the death of a pet. Pets in my childhood died, but I lacked the empathy back then to fully appreciate their passing. If there is any meaning in it at all, I hope you find it. Maybe it will give you some measure of solace in this dark time that only emphasizes the harsh mortality of all life.
Descy, that fucking sucks.
I love cats, and I know what it's like to lose them. 
I know those feels, and I got my permission form signed for the feels trip. I'm here, my friend. 
I am so sorry about your cat and the reckless drivers. I am afraid that I cannot find reassuring words for helping you grieve, but I do have practical advice for the reckless drivers:
You can go to your citycouncil and explain that the reckless drivers are an hazard to pedestrians, drivers, and wildlife. The citycouncil might lower the speedlimit and send over a cop for enforcing it.
I am so sorry about your cat.
1910200
I looked that up at your mentioning of it, but concrete poetry is more used to make a picture or something that is significant to the subject matter. This seems to lack that, or perhaps I just don't see it.
I find it far more likely that there was no real deep reason for him to write like that, and he was just expressing his emotion in a free and dynamic way. I was honestly just curious. For a second point, if you have issue with the way I speak, take it to PM. This is not the place for it.
-Lumino
1910326 Ah, figured I had made an error there. Thanks for setting me straight.
Writing that is deep for that express purpose is often times the worst writing anyone does. It is when you express a fleeting emotion, one that is real and happens to you and is experienced—that is when it becomes great. No one likes pretentious works.
I don't see a need to continue on on that, I pointed out the tone I gathered, you offered a rebuttal, it's all been done.
4 dogs, 3 cats, one still going I miss them all and always will. My sympathy.
I am crying now.
I'm too tough to cry.
I'd call you a jerk, but at this point that would just be mean.
I'm sorry about your cat, but not sorry about reading that, bleak as it may feel.
I'm sorry for your loss.
Aww T.D., I'm so sorry for your loss.
Assuming this wasn't just a random poem about your cat and a deer, I deeply sympathize with you.
Now, given the mourning circumstances, I will do my best not to needlessly rant about how I feel about free verse poetry with random new-line-instead-of-space strokes... It's simply neither the time nor the place for showing my lack of understanding.
It won't help right now but remember the good times not the bad.
I feel bad for the deer as well,.
I am truly sorry for your loss, TD, and I truly hope that the sympathy and support shown in these comments helps you even a little.