Clopin and the Seven Ponies by LoveGypsy64 · 4:41am Feb 13th, 2014
Hey, guys. Fireemblemspider here. And welcome to another day in the month of love.
And as it is the month of love I’ve reviewed nothing but fan fictions of romance. There have been some great fan fictions this month… And there have been others that have tried.
The story we are looking at today is Clopin and the Seven Ponies by LoveGypsy64. A strange crossover that probably could have worked, but the execution is very poor.
But let’s not waste any more time. Let’s dig into it.
We start off with our story introducing us to our main character, Clopin. For those of you who are unaware, Clopin is the jester in the Hunchback of Notre Dame movie. And don’t feel bad if you had to look that up, so did I.
He is working for his evil boss named Sarousche as a janitor. (Who apparently is the main antagonist for the second movie. Also, Sarousch’s name is spelt wrong.)
Sarousche goes to his … magic mirror? I guess he got it on loan from the Queen from Snow White. Anyway, he asks who the most talented man of all is. The mirror, naturally, response Clopin. I guess he’s apparently quite talented, even though we never actually see these supposed talents.
Anyway, we cut to Clopin who is doing work for his evil stepmother. … Oh sorry, the formula for this story follows the Snow White story so well that I get them confused sometimes.
Clopin continues to work in on the circus grounds when a woman appears before him. They instantly fall in love upon this meeting. Gee, that sure takes the headache out of relationships. Getting to know one another, exploring their differences, celebrating their similarities, learning about their strengths, weaknesses, dreams, hopes, fears and other things that are vital to a relationship. I’m sure glad we got that out of the way in a single sentence.
We then cut to Sarousche (that’s how it’s spelt in the story, that’s how it’s spelt in the review) who is talking to Madeline. Wait a minute… who is Madeline? Is she an OC? Is she that romantic interest from the second movie? If so, the name is completely butchered.
Anyway, Sarousche tells Madeline to poison Clopin, by… throwing a deadly potion on his skin? Yeah, I don’t think poisons work that way. Now granted, if she had injected or Clopin had taken the poison by mouth, I would accept this. But the narration doesn’t mention that. It mentions that Madeline is supposed to splash the poison onto Clopin, thus killing him.
Clopin goes into the meadow to pick some flowers. He then finds a baby bird that’s lost its parents. The Huntsmen pulls out his knife and … Shoot, I did it again… Madeline pulls out the potion with the poison to toss it on Clopin, but after seeing Clopin care for such a tiny bird, she decides not to do it. Because it certainly doesn’t have anything to do with it actually being wrong. So remember kids, it’s okay to commit murder as long as they don’t help any helpless birds.
So Madeline tells Clopin about Sarousche’s evil plan and Clopin runs off into the woods. Clopin then runs across a trio of kids. I would give you their names, but frankly the author doesn’t care to give them one. So they are just “the children”. Why on earth are they here? Who the hell knows? They will serve nothing to the overall plot of the story and they are forgotten by the author by the end of it.
Anyway, they mention a cottage that Clopin can stay in where he’ll be safe from Sarousche. He finds the cottage and says that he’ll enter the house and stay there. Oh, good. Breaking and entering. This story is teaching me lots of new things. Murder is okay as long as the person you want to kill is not an animal lover and breaking into someone’s home is A-Okay!
So he enters the home and finds that the place is in shambles and a disorganized mess. He then begins to work on cleaning the house for the owners. Because that will surely let them keep you. And how do you know that the people in that house aren’t psychopaths or potentially violent?! Or even if they are loyal to Sarousche?! Did that even occur to you?!
Clopin then goes upstairs to see the beds for each of the owners. “Sparkly, Bubbly, Freckly, Derpy, Dashy, Prissy, and Shy”
What the hell?! Why the hell are there different names for the characters?! Did you not think that Twilight Sparkle and Pinkie Pie were odd enough names?! You had to make up new ones?! And seriously?! Freckly?! That’s the best name Applejack is going to get?! Fucking Freckly?! Really?!
Anyway, the seven ponies come to their home and discover that someone has cleaned their house. Instead of going to the police, like any sane person would, they investigate it themselves. After going through the house, they finally go up to the bedroom and see Clopin sleeping in their beds.
Anyway, instead of trying to accuse this man of breaking into their house, they calmly ask him why he is in their house.
Clopin explains what is going on with Sarousche and the ponies agree to help him out and allow him to stay.
Meanwhile, Sarousche discovers that Clopin is alive and that Madeline failed her task. Madeline is punished by… being demoted to a janitor? That sick and twisted bastard! How dare he make Madeline someone who needs to make sure his audience has a clean environment for them to enjoy!
Anyway, Sarousche gets the brilliant idea to … transform himself into Frollo and try to befriend Clopin?!
What the hell?! Are you insane?! What makes you think that Clopin would believe that Frollo had changed his ways?! Frollo tried to kill him on more than one occasion! Why the fuck would this guy believe this stupid plan would work?! Would you trust this guy if he smiled to you?
We cut back Clopin who is enjoying the company of the ponies. Eventually they decide to go to bed and then it’s the next day without much to go on. One of the things that this story is really good at doing is not describing anything. The author doesn’t give us any character depth, descriptions of what is going on through the characters minds. As such, it’s hard to invest in the characters and their situations.
Anyway, Clopin stays at the home as the seven ponies go out. For what? Who freaking cares? Nothing about the characters or what they do is explained or is given any depth.
Anyway, Frollo comes to Clopin’s door and puts on his friendly face. And stupid Clopin accepts his half-ass apology and takes a gift from Frollo without question. Again, why is this person so stupid?! Anyway, Clopin takes then give and it shoots out… poison gas? I don’t care. It’s almost over.
Anyway, the ponies come back with… soldiers, I guess? Where the hell did they come from?! The soldiers arrest Frollo imposter and take him away. Why the ponies knew to bring soldiers to the hut? Your guess is as good as mine.
The ponies bury Clopin in a glass coffin and the girl of his dreams… You know the girl from the first scene? … The one who appeared for all of three seconds?... Yeah, I don’t remember her either. Our story ends with them living happily ever after.
And now I presume judgment… I ask for silence please…
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This fan fiction was pretty much trash. It was poorly written, the characters are pretty bland, the plot is just a repeat of the Snow White story. It wouldn’t be so bad, but it doesn’t even make sense and it has no need to be that.
Clopin was a completely odd choice for this type of story. He’s supposed to be fun and manipulative and lively and a bit sadistic. He was none of those things! Why was he even in this story?!
The names on the ponies. Did they really need to be changed! I don’t understand why they couldn’t just have their normal names! Their names are already strange, so to use different names for them doesn’t seem to make sense!
Many of the ponies, especially Rainbow Dash, was out of character! The villain is a complete moron and the heroes aren’t much better!
This story was not well put together and it was just very unentertaining. Have a good day guys.
Okay.................................. Hunchback hasn't gotten this shafted since Kingdom Hearts where instead of actually fighting him he summons this thing out of nowhere
khwiki.net/images/c/c5/Wargoyle_(Sora's_Side)_KH3D.png
And it's my favorite 2nd Disney movie. Right behind Tarzan.
1828938 Yeah, it was pretty damn bizarre.
I love the movie though. It's one of my favorites and Frollo's my favorite Disney villain.
1829816 Mine's Maleficent
static1.wikia.nocookie.net/__cb20100623224254/villains/images/archive/6/65/20100625191001!Maleficent-sleeping-beauty-8270029-700-655.jpg
1829891 A very good choice.
1829895 And my second favorite is Chernabog from Fantasia
2.bp.blogspot.com/-YmyBfaTFsDk/T2K15-iw2DI/AAAAAAAAHHk/GDHLd-D8z2o/s1600/PHOTO_9449280_66470_18660554_ap.jpg
Okay, maybe not so much a villain as he was never shown menacing anyone, but there has YET to be such a malevolent looking Disney villain.
1829901 I remember him scaring the shit out me when I was a kid. Yet, it was strangely my favorite part of the movie.
1829907 Hey, like Pinkie Pie said once
"Sometimes it's just really fun to be scared"
Actually the Night on Bald Mountain segment of Fantasia where Chernabog shows up used to have this effect on me
Just replace clown with "bat monster"
But it did end up giving me a fascination with the macabre and dark. I always try to avoid overtly horrific stuff, just dark and creepy. Stuff that can send shivers up your spine. It's the reason I became an Evil Dead fan
Absolutely LOVE Frankenstein
2.bp.blogspot.com/_MQS8cmEePzw/TCnmgD1-IiI/AAAAAAAAAWc/uVc-3GQr4RI/s400/Frankenstein.jpg
And got into Lovecraftian horror stories
1829919
I love it my friend. That is exactly how I feel about it. It was some of my fondest memories. Same with this scene.
1829977 Yeah that was great................................ That reminds me, I really need to start watching that Sleepy Hollow show. I've heard good things about it.