Price of Life Canceled (sort of)

So mistakes I made with price of life. I created a Mary Sue by mistake. And all of my characters were flat and at best 2dimensional. Aka crying and angry with a bunch of killing things for good measure.

First issue is the Mary Sue problem. That is one I was aware might happen considering the mechanics I was using. Originally I had intended Myst to be a dual class rouge and mage (Think d&d proficiency in short swords (kukri) and a proficiency in unarmed combat. Put several attribute points towards stealth and agility.) The agility and stealth lend itself well to wings and in MLP universe mage type magic comes only from unicorns. As such I decided to risk a Mary Sue and give her the horn. I over did it. After that move there was little room for more development and since I had failed to really set up Myst as a character before then, I couldn’t really focus on character development either.
The fact that by chapter three our hero was now possessed of crazy mad powers and a flat character is a sign of a mistake in how I wrote the story. And in realizing this fact I have decided to start over. This time with a much more detailed outline and slightly different magic mechanics. I am not giving up on the whole dual class thing, but I will handle it differently and probably spin it more towards illusion magic than combat magic. I am thinking to forego the horn and instead make it an entirely gem related thing.

I will return to my original plan. The poem Myst is seen writing on the ship is one I wrote before I wrote the story. It is longer that what you saw. I had planned to have Myst write it out slowly and as the poem developed so would Myst’s character. So in an attempt to salvage what I can. I will start over with the original title “misty morning”.
This is what happens when you let a philosopher and student try to write fiction for the first time. (Elementary school writing does not count. At least not as a serious contender for good fiction.) My goal was to write a book exploring the question what is the price of life? This is a topic I would be better at writing a paper about. But if I do not challenge myself how can I grow? Therefore I hereby propose take two of price of life, retitled and rewritten as I originally envisioned it.

To ensure that this goal is reached I will write out a strict outline before beginning to write the story. That way I will be better able to pace the story and ensure I do not make similar mistakes. (I have a very vague outline, but a more detailed one will really profit the story.) So to everyone following this story, I am sorry for any inconvenience. I will add another blog post when I publish the rewrite.