Pony Age: Catalyst - · 8:23pm Jan 20th, 2014
Hello all! I hope this message finds you well.
With the dawn of Pony Age: Catalyst on the horizon, I would like to extend to everyone an opportunity for final feedback in regards to Pony Age: Origins. I'd like to know what everyone thought of the work as a whole, specifically what they really liked (so I can continue doing that) and what they really didn't like (so I can either nix it or improve upon it.) While I may not be able to respond to every comment, I do read them all and take them to heart so please do not hesitate to add your thoughts as to how to make Catalyst an enjoyable experience.
Second, I would like to make another Call For Aid. As of right now, there is only one editor for Catalyst, and while he does a great job of finding certain errors, it is a lot of work for one guy. Thus I am looking for help in regards to editing, but also pre-readers who I can bounce ideas off of. It helps having that voice that says "That is a terrible idea and you are a horrible person for implementing it."
With that said, look forward to Pony Age: Catalyst! I hope it's up to snuff.
As always... I'm STILL not done yet!
I would love to help you in anyway I could. I'd probably be a better prereader than editor, so take that into consideration. I loved the PA:O and and I can't wait for this one.
Probably the most enjoyable fic on the site for me. I will say my only real disappointment was Spike, I feel he got the proverbial shaft. Shale tells him he's useless, he gets kidnapped and unintentially screws everyone over, then from there doesn't seem to get any true redeption. He sacrifices his SOUL in order to stop the Archdemon, meaning he's like double dead and doesn't even get to go to whatever heaven exists in the verse.
And then to top it all off, it doesn't seem like anyone understands what actually happened, the story makes it seem like the mane six think he just died in the battle, rather than performed the literal ultimate sacrifice. So that was my only reeeeeal complaint. Other than that I freaking loved it and can't wait for more!
1740652 Yeah, the poor little guy just got fucked over and over again, and in the end, didn´t even got the recognition that he deserved.
I agree with the others. I thought that your story was amazing, staying true to the games while adding your own stuff, but a Spike did get the short end of the stick. Sure, I can see that he wasn't aiming for recognition and instead wanted redemption for forcing Twilight to join the Wardens before he learned of their curse, but it still didn't feel right to just kill him off without him getting that recognition he deserved. Now I'm not telling you to bring him back in Catalyst, since that would obviously be a bad call. Anyway, that's all I can say, and I'm looking forward to reading your next story!
One of my favorite things is the subplot with Pinkie and Rainbow Dash so if that is getting continued then I will be really happy.
I also like how you are trying to keep each unique in not just personality but in also in what they use and how they fight. For instance Pinkie using bombs and maces which are not common weapons in the game or in most stories (I especially think the bombs fit Pinkie).
I agree that the fact you managed to merge the two stories and create a version that, while staying true to the style/continuity of many events in the DA universe; you were able to inject them with ponies and their own character styles that added another layer over the original.
If you want some help with either Pre-reading or Editing, feel free to send me a PM and I will try to get back to you as soon as I can. Keep up the good work and can't wait till the next story begins.
You only have one editor? Blasphemy! I wish them good luck because who says the editor is a guy?
I personally liked the deviations that you introduced into the story as compared to the game where of course, you can only have one path and not the possible middle road, but the again, I have a habit of choosing the middle road all too often
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Thank you everyone who responded. It means a lot and gives me a good idea on how people felt about Origins.
To 1740210 and 1742469, I will be sending messages to you so we can exchange contact information. I use googledocs, so if you have a gmail account, we can communicate and such inside the document.
It seems the major point of contention was the fate of Spike. It was not an easy decision to make, buy at the time and still considered by me the best way to resolve the Archdemon. Consider in the original game, one only had two options: die or have sex with Morrigan. Since the second option was right out, and I already had plans for the Warden in Pony Age, that left me with coming up with a third answer.
The third answer was Spike. As mentioned previously, Spike did feel guilty of essentially dooming Twilight to a short life. Already maimed by the Archdemon's shadowflame and having consumed the previous Archdemon's blood, Spike made the best choice to save Twilight and his friends. Some folks say because Spike and the Archdemon are both dragons, it couldn't have happened the way it did. However, that said, I've always believed that the Archdemon stopped being a dragon when it was resurrected in its new form.
Many heroes don't get the recognition they deserve. Ask many people about the various conflicts in the world. Case in point, there were many unsung heroes of the Civil Rights Movement in the United States. While I am not comparing the events that brought some measure of equality to America to that of a pastel pony fanfiction event, but the idea of the unsung hero is the same. This is Spike's role now, as the hero that only a few friends, namely Twilight, know about. In my opinion, for Spike, this is all the recognition he needs. As for no one knowing what he truly did, this is also part of the unsung hero. His true involvement will never be known.
It was also a decision after a criticism that I tease death of a main character. I did so many times, that eventually someone important had to die and the death had to stick. I think I gave Spike a good send-off with a heroic death, but it seems to have been taken otherwise. Still, this is good feedback. Just don't expect things to be any lighter in Catalyst.
1742758 I apologise if I got your gender wrong. Some of your tags don't indicate anything, and this is the internet after all.
I hope that gives a good amount of information to my thought process in regards to Spike. Pony Age: Catalyst will be up shortly... Look forward to it!
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its just the idea that Loghaine gets forgiven, dies, then come back, literally two second chances
And Spike is sent of to the deepest depths of non-existence. It just left a slightly sour taste in my mouth
Again though, I don't mean to come off as bitter, I adored the story, but Spike being my favorite character naturally has me biased towards his character
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All right, I can see your point. I must admit, I didn't see things that way. And this definitely sounds like something that could happen in Dragon Age.
I have to wonder, with the new season and the new characters that appear in them, how are they going to affect your story?
First, congratulations on getting such a big project done with such high quality. I am almost done finishing Origins, probably getting on Catalyst next week. If you need a pre-reader, I could help. Not the best one around, English not being my first language, but 7 years of formal study did give me some skill.
1743173 Hmmmm, no. Do not get me wrong dude, I am not complaining about his sacrifice, it is just that it looks forced to have a character that was basically a comic relief, to do such important task in the end. Your idea could definitely work if the character made itself look important, if he already had the status of "hero". Doing that he sacrificed itself in the end, it looked like "hey, I don’t want to have a truly important character to die, so let´s have him go to the gutter instead". Killing a character must not be just for the lulz, but for a reason.
Of course, you could say too, that even the little ones have the power to do great things if they have the chance. That could be the case of Spike.
The move that you did there was risky, like swinging a double edged sword against a heavy armoured enemy. It can work or not, it depends totally in the person.
But in the end, I did like the story.
1743173 Well now, don't be so serious. I was actually joking about my gender with the
But I guess it didn't work out the way I hoped. Strike two for that joke, another and I ain't gonna use it no more
The only real issue I had with Pony Age Origins was that I felt it was following the game a bit to closely, though as the story progressed it seemed to distance itself more and more from the DA:O storyline making for a few interesting surprises as well as some nice character interaction, so all in all, if you continue doing as you were near the end of pony age I imagine it will turn out quite nicely
I'm more than willing to lend a helping hand with pre-reading and bouncing ideas if ya need someone to do that. I can also try my hand at editing, though I'm not sure how good I would be at that.
EDIT: Thinking back on it, there was one thing that is nagging me about Ponyage Origins.
Specifically...that whole inner magic thing. Not the existence of it, but, well...
Twilight doesn't seem to have had that talk with anypony yet, about magic that doesn't draw from the fade and whatnot.