• Member Since 25th Feb, 2013
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Titanium Dragon


TD writes and reviews pony fanfiction, and has a serious RariJack addiction. Send help and/or ponies.

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Jan
3rd
2014

Best Police Reports of 2013 and progress update · 1:36am Jan 3rd, 2014

Hey folks!

Sorry I haven't updated anything on the site in ages. But that's going to change shortly. I presently have over 50k of unpublished pony words on my computer. Why? Because I have been terrible about actually FINISHING (or in some cases, polishing) some of them. But I've been writing; you just haven't been seeing them.

Daring Do x Rosetta Stone OTP got completely rewritten from about 5k words; it is back up to where it was before, and will hopefully be ready to be edited by this weekend, which means it will likely appear sometime next week. It will be my first TwiDash story here.

No One Will Notice is currently being edited by me; it is actually fully written, but it is being mostly more-or-less rewritten to make it more coherent and directed. It will be my next target after Daring Do x Rosetta Stone OTP; I'm hoping it will be out by next week, but it may not be until the week after.

Shotgun Wedding is up to chapter 8 now, but chapters 5 and 6 still haven't been fixed, so it hasn't been posted. That will be my target after No One Will Notice; I want to make sure that thing is completely done. It is slated to have 10 chapters, so it is actually most of the way drafted. As the chapters get done, they'll go up. Sorry for the long delay on that story; there's really no excuse at this point.

The Best is up to 20k words, but still isn't done. It will likely clock in somewhere around 30k wordsish, but I might be underestimating it slightly. I'm going to try and finish it alongside Shotgun Wedding.

Once those four stories are done, I'll be setting off into other things. I have some other stories partially written, and I have a couple of breakup stories written for the ISD forum challenge... but those likely won't be going up for a while. And of course I'll probably throw in a few random short stories that come to me, like the outlined Scaring Each Other AppleDash story which may or may not ever get written, but is relatively short.

Because no one likes to hear a bunch of excuses, I thought I'd end this post with something I took from my local newspaper here in Corvallis, Oregon. At the end of the year, they decided to publish a selection of the 12 best police reports from the year 2013 in Benton County. Here the four best are, in all their glory:

Yeah, but if you let just one beaver get away with this, pretty soon the whole town will be overrun with beaver gangs.
Thursday, Dec. 27, 2012: A woman who lives along Southwest Knollbrook Avenue reported that she could not fathom why someone had chopped down a 25 foot apple tree in her backyard during the night or how the culprit transported it out. The following week, the woman reported to police that they could close the case - after consulting with a forester friend, she determined the culprit was a beaver. The animal had begun to work on a second tree in the yard.

A fundamental error regarding how rivers work
Tuesday, July 30: Water rescue officers at Bowman Park located a missing kayaker who had become separated from her friend. The kayaker told a deputy that when she got caught in the current she stopped fighting it because she thought the river circled around back to the dock where she started.

Free Bird
Friday, Aug. 16: A sheriff's deputy was called to an Oregon Department of Fish & Wildlife facility near Camp Adair to investigate four cut-open pens that house pheasants for rehabilitation. An email from the Animal Liberation Front was sent to KEZI news in Eugene claiming responsibility for the incident. The Department of Fish and Wildlife employee told police that none of the birds - which the department eventually planned to release to the wild - was missing from their pens. Two of the cut-open cages didn't have any pheasants in them to begin with.

Funny, it's not even a full moon tonight
Sunday, Nov. 3: A woman told officers that someone who was moaning and groaning outside woke her up. An officer located a man near the Highway 99W overpass doing "what is best described as howling at the moon" according to the incident report. The officer identified the howler as a 58-year-old man who was under the influence of a central nervous system stimulant. The man's probation officer didn't want him taken into custody, so he was cited on a charge of second-degree disorderly conduct and instructed to quiet down.

Comments ( 4 )

This is wrong. None of these crimes happened in Florida. Thus, I doubt their validity as the best police reports of 2013. :ajbemused:

1676451
This is all from Benton County. It is the best LOCAL police reports. In a town of 50k people and the surrounding area.

Fun times.

1676477
So… meth, huh?

1676487
Could be. Though it could have even been a legal stimulant he had a prescription for, as he wasn't cited for any drug charges. I mean, there are people who take stimulants legally.

Well, other than caffeine, which everyone takes legally.

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