Jesus, someone actually did a reading of this.
(Dramatic Reading) Nicolas Cage Battles Princess Celestia
Props to the guy (numawalrus) who decided to take on this crazy story, I should've noticed this sooner.
Edit: Seems like T.W.G. is doing a reading of this too, awesome!
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T.W.G did a reading of it too
Currently editing it
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Holy--
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I can't wait! It's going to be epic, I know it!