I went on vacation!

Soooooo...
Last Wednesday I went a couple states over to see my cousins, aunt and uncle on my dad's side. We drove (twelve hours) to get there, stayed two full days, then drove (twelve hours) to get back. Now, most of you would think that I would absolutely hate being stuck in the backseat with my teenage brother* for a total of twenty four hours, but you're wrong!

*Join his fan club! Click here!

Anyway, if you have fifteen to twenty minutes (depending on how much I can remember about my trip) then please, kick back and get comfortable and prepare to hear of the funnies moments of my trip!*

*In my opinion, I don't know about you people.

Car Ride The First!

We got in the car and started driving. Not much memorable about that. However, I experienced three sort of memorable things! The true feeling of boredom, a village of DEATH, and the angriest drivers we have ever encountered! So, we were driving along, minding our own business, then my mom, who was currently driving, decided it would be a good idea to stop for a bathroom break in the small town we were passing that actually had the word village on the sign. My brother was all like "This village reminds me of Race With the Devil*" and then I got a little bit nervous. Anywho, the bathrooms at the gas station were just like like they are in slasher movies, so we started calling the gas station the slasher station, and the village the slasher village. Sadly, this is normal for my family! Anywho, we left the village in tact. Then, we drove through a big city with lots of drivers that were all speeding. Literally. Everyone was speeding. Then this one guy almost rear ended us, then flipped us off when he finally passed us. A while after we left that city, I experienced what real boredom is. Not that kind that you feel when you're playing a free roam video game and you run out of quests. This was real extreme genuine boredom. Just like in the movies. We were driving in the middle of nowhere so all that was out the window was dirt. Seriously. Just dirt! I had taken off my shoes and socks and had propped my bare feet up against my window. I was also eating original flavored sun chips, the most boring kind. My brother and my dad were both trying to fall asleep, but they couldn't. My mom was focusing on the road and nothing else. It felt like an hour had passes but it hadn't even been five minutes. Nobody was talking, so it was silent except for the music that was playing in the car. By chance however, that music just so happened to be the very beginning of Shine on You Crazy Diamond Part One** by Pink Floyd, so it was almost the exact music they play during boring car rides in movies! Anywho, that was all that was memorable from the first car ride.

* Race With The Devil is a movie in which the characters accidentally witness a human sacrifice while on a camping trip and stop in many small towns while the devil worshipers who were preforming the sacrifice hunt them down.

**

Day One! (Thanksgiving)

Not much happened that day. I woke up and went into the front room where one of my cousins, (Both of my cousins who live there are in their twenties) my aunt and my mom were talking about stuff. Well actually, my cousin was telling them a bunch of random facts about stuff. They were pretty interesting. Then he showed us some videos where he got the random facts. My favorite one was called Fifty Ridiculous Laws. Did you know that in one state (I forget which) it is illegal to gnaw another person's limbs off? I'm serious! It's sad that they actually had to make that a law. After that, my brother woke up so me and him and my cousin all went to their trailer to play video games. (They have a trailer by there house where my brother and my cousin are sleeping while my family visits and we play video games there a bunch.) Pretty much, we just played Super Smash Brothers. Well, my brother and cousin played. I didn't. Also, my other cousin has two kids and one of them is six. He played Super Smash Brothers with them and there's only three controllers so I sacrificed mine to let my little cousin play. Not really. I just don't like that game. Then, my cousin showed me Pikmin and he started an account for me. For those of who don't know what Pikmin is, it's pretty much where you are a guy with an assistant who is stranded on earth and gets help from little people called Pikmin. Well, actually, it wasn't Pikmin. It was Pikmin 3. Well, the memorable thing about that is that the assistant's name is Louie and I always made him do stuff I didn't want to do. Also, I called him a dog. Look at him! He's a dog!

Anyway, when we were in caves and such I would always make him scout ahead so if there were monsters he would die first. I know. I'm so mean. Then, Thanksgiving dinner was ready and blah blah blah. I bet that you don't care about me talking to my older cousins about school and such, so I'm going to skip that. Moving on!

Day Two!

Alright here comes the fun part! So, we woke up and went to trailer and played versus on Pikmin 3 and it was my brothers first time playing and he beat me every single time! I'm terrible at video games. Anywho, once we got bored of Pikmin 3, we went back into the house and played some racing game. I'm going to skip everything about that except the funniest thing that happened to me. So, I was on a motorcycle. The race had just started so I tried to start my motorcycle but the truck right behind me accelerated faster than me and hit me and I flew off my motorcycle and died. Then, for the over kill, another truck (driven by my cousin) used my dead body as a ramp and jumped the rest of the cars landing in first place. Then, we played Little Big Planted two for a while, then I took a shower, then I played farm with my little cousins for a while, then we all went back out to the trailer. This is my favorite part! So, my cousin was looking around for a new game to play in the online wii store and we found a really cool looking one that was cheap so we downloaded it. It was a game where each person is a ruler of one place in China or somewhere. The funniest part was pretty much when we were naming our rulers. You could have eight so I got two, my brother got two, my cousin got two, and my little cousin got two, but he quit so my cousin really got four.

The names of our rulers!

1. Bilbo Bacon (Pronounced Bilbo Bacon) Because of the limited number of letters, it was originally going to be Bilbo Baggins but it turned out Bilbo Baggs so we changed it to Bilbo Bacon. That's when we decided to make all the names dumb.
2. Dirk Rock Jaw (Pronounced Dirk Rock Jaw) He was the strongest. That's all.
3. Bob Butard (Pronounced Bob Butt Tard) Told ya! Here's where it gets dumb.
4. Sogaifrilli (Pronounced So Gay Frilly) His joke is kinda obvious.
5. Bill Butnugt (Pronounced Bill Boot New gt) His name was origionally going to be Bill Butt Nugget, but he was my character and I decided to make his name sound somewhat sophisticated.
6. Stewpeders (Pronounced Stu Peters) Ok, the thing behind his name was an inside joke. So, me and RainbowDash73 were having a sleepover. I'm not going to fill you in on the whole conversation, but just the funny part. She said "I'm going to write a letter to my grandma! Dear Grandma, I'm stupid." Then I said "Well, if you were really stupid you would spell it wrong." Then she said "Ok! Dear Grandma, I'm stoooooooooooopid." Then I said "I'm stupid," but I pronounced it Stu Peed. Then she burst out laughing and said "Somebody help! Stu peed!" And thus, Stewpeders was born!

I can't remember the other two. If I do, I will update this. Anywho, pretty much all it is is you run your little kingdom and give rice to your people and take their money. Occasionally, however, one of the computers would declare war on one of us. Poor Bilbo Bacon died in his first war. Eventually, we discovered that you could marry one of the other rulers' daughters! Bet you can guess what we did then. Also, since this took place a long time ago, you could have multiple wives. Within ten minutes, we were all married to each others daughters. Except for Sogai. Then, this one guy started to win wars. Lots of them. He owned half of the places on the map. Then, my brother tried to get married to that guy's daughter and he said no so my brother said "Well, mister strong in the pants." Eventually, strong in the pants won and took over everything. Then I had to go to bed. Stupid strong in the pants.

Car Ride the Second!

We were sad to go but I missed my cat so I guess it was a good thing. We drove away and after hours and hours and hours and a few minutes of speeding past the slasher village, we made it back to out state. Then, my mom and dad were talking about some identity theft that my dad had watched on the news that morning while he was waiting for me and my brother to drag out lazy butts out of bed. That caused me to say "How do you know I'm the real Pinkie Pie?" Then my brother said "Oatmeal? Are you crazy?" Then we started laughing. After my brother's cd was over, I decided it was my turn to pick the cd so I told my dad to put in my

cd, and there were no objections so that's what we listened to. After I finished my water I was so bored that I took the label half way off the bottle and started waving it around like a flag while singing along. It made my brother laugh and my brother laughing made my mom look back and she laughed too and I asked her why she was laughing and she said "'Cause you're cute!" I hate it when grownups say that. Then when we finally got home, none of us were ready for bed so we watched Zomebieland and Warm Bodies and by then I was so tired I had to take a nap half way to my bedroom. So, that was my trip to see my family! Thank you for taking the time out of your life to read this even though you probably have absolutely no interest in some internet stranger's life whatsoever! Have a nice day!