After Class Discussion · 5:17pm Dec 1st, 2013
-Writer’s Workshop Class one Lesson two-
After Class Discussion
Mr. Astrocity, do have something to ask?
“Yes, I was wondering, how does one effectively execute an opening?”
Ah yes, I guess I did rush through that last little bit didn’t I? Well to tell you the truth there’s no real way of doing it, not a cliché way at least. Let me explain, as far as openers go, there is an number of ways to go about it.
One way, that I think is the easiest but most clichéd, is t start with the setting of the environment around the characters. Even though this sets a ‘mood’ for the story, most readers don’t want a weather report as an opener. But for now let’s say that we want to do this, as it can have a humorous effect if done right. For a more light-hearted mood an opener would be something like this:
-The bright warm sun hung high in the mid-morning sky. Birds flying about singing a joyful tone, bees moving from flower to flower, collecting honey for the million of other bees of their hive. kids running about, playing, laughing, and forming memories that they will carry for the rest of their lives. Couples walking through the park, growing ever so closer. So even asking for the other’s hand in marriage.
The sun’s brilliant rays of light reached the window of the local library, waking the owner, and forcing her to get out of the bed. She happily hummed to herself as she ready for another day on the joy-
Do you see why readers don’t like this kind of opener? All I did was tell you about the environment and setting, both are important to write and show, but it’s not opener material. So if you can ever help it try and stay away from things like this. But you did feel a sense of happiness and joy right? If you ever most use this kind of opener, then I recommend that you use it somewhere in the body of your story. Most likely after the opener.
This technique does have it’s advantages and disadvantages. The disadvantages can include:
-Loss of reader interest
-Showing low creative skills
-No real reason reader should continue to read
But this technique, despite the disadvantages, has some upsides to it. For example, the main reason you shouldn’t use this technique, is loss of reader interest. However, you can use the vague feeling that the technique leaves you with. Let’s take the last example and use the vague feeling to twist the reader emotions around.
-The sun’s brilliant rays fell on the local library. The light easily pierced through the windows, ye no one would be able to feel the warm and welcoming light. The rays of light flooded every inch of the library, yet the one that called it home will not be feeling the light this day. For she was far down in the cold and dimed basement, already hard at work. She smiled wickedly for only she would be able to solve the world’s greatest question.
Today she’ll make the key to immortality-
Now with the little bit I’ve changed, you can see the weak hook that was placed in the end. The reason it’s a weak hook and not a good one is simple really. There’s nothing in the opener that would lead the reader to such a conclusion. You can’t just start at one point and jump right into another one.
Why? Cause it shows weak story planning and plot development. Don’t get me wrong, there are ways of doing this. However this isn’t one of those ways. Now let’s look at an example that could be called ‘correct.’
-”Spike! Where are my notes?” A female’s voice rang through the Golden Oaks Library.-
This technique could be used to jumpstart a story, scene, or any other major even. I’ll explain the last two in another lesson, for now let’s focus on the actual beginning of a story. Alright now to go back to the last example, you can see that starting a story with dialogue is interesting and leaves the reader guessing what going to happen next. And yes, that too is an example of foreshadowing.
-”Spike! Where are my notes?” A female’s voice rang through the Golden Oaks Library.
“Which notes are you talking about Twilight?” Spike called back, in the deep voice he’s grown into.
Twilight walked down the stair of the library/home and spotted Spike kicked back on the couch. “The notes that I supposed to go over with Mr. Ragdoll today.” She said putting her hands on her hips. “Have you seen them?”-
And now we’ve have story progression. I know it’s not the best example of story progression and hooks, but you get the point. Also the kind of story can have an effect on the opening. Like the example above, I was vague on the details on purpose, manly cause it just an example.
For now I think that enough, I hope that this answers your question. Now if you excuse me, I have a date with a dark alicorn, and she gets upset when I keep her waiting.
“Wait professor Ragdoll.”
What is it?
“What about a story’s pacing?”
What about it?
“Like how would you set or change the pacing?”
Humm...Well aren't you just the thinker? Okay the quickest way to do that is to change the way and what you describe. Like a chase scene for instant.
-The CMCs ran through Everfree forest, ducking and diving underneath the overgrown plant life. They dared to take a glance back, to see the ravenous pack of timberwolves still gaining ground on them. They pushed their way through the thick foliage, uncaring of where they were going.
Up ahead they spotted a thick looking wall of vines, they pushed through it in hopes of escaping the wolves. However, they failed to see the enormous cliff. Unable to stop all three girls fell, and it seemed that their fates were sealed.-
Pretty fast paced right? Well with no real known reason as to why the CMCs are in Everfree, I would hope that it seemed. Why would this seem like a good opener? Well if your reader cares for the well-being of the CMCs, which I hope that most do, then they would continue to read.
But this opener is lazy and too vague, so since we’ve already gone over intros and openers in class, let’s use this example with the second opener technique from earlier, to make this into and mock intro.
-”Bloom, look out!” The young girls of the CMCs ran through Everfree forest, ducking and diving through the overgrown foliage. Scootaloo looked back towards the ravenous pack of timberwolves, their eyes a beating emerald green.
“This was your worst idea ever!” Applebloom shouted, slipping on her feet, but was able to quickly recover. She rejoined her friends, having no idea what part of Everfree they were in, the normal path long since abandoned and forgotten. At this point they could caring less about where they were at, just hoping that they could get away from the wolves.
“Hey guys look!” Scootaloo pointed out a thick looking wall of vines and other overgrown plant life. “Let’s break through it.” She said reading to ram through the wall. With no time to think about the crazy plan, Sweetie Belle and Applebloom also readied to push through the wall.
Much to their surprise, the wall was a lot weaker than they had first guess. “We did i- Whoa! Ahhh!” The girls’ celebration was short lived, as they failed to see the cliff’s edge on the other side of the wall.
As they were falling, Applebloom threw herself about trying to regain a sense of balance, Sweetie screamed on the top of her lungs, and Scootaloo flapped her wings as hard as she could, but to no avail. As the jagged rock-bed came closer in view, the girls pulled each other close together in a tight embrace. At the final moments, they closed their eyes awaiting the end. However a fast and shadowy figure swooped in, and grabbed all three in a strong embrace.
The CMC crew opened their eyes, curious as to who saved them from their doomed fates. When the glare of the sun faded away, their savior turned out to be none other then the only dragon-blood in Ponyville; Spike Dargul.
He quickly landed on the ground below, and let the shaken up girls down. “So, how wants to tell me, why you guys where falling?” He asked in an unamused tone, having dealing with the band of misfits before
Applebloom and Sweetie step backwards, leaving Scootaloo in front of Spike. “Well it started earlier this morning…”-
Okay that was a long example, but I wanted you to see that a story’s pacing can be as fluid as water. In that one opening alone, I’ve changed the pacing at least twice. The first time was when the girls started to fall, I did this to slow time down, giving the next event time to settle in. The second time was when Spike landed on the ground with the CMCs, that was to show that the scene was over and to introduce the hook of the story.
Now I could’ve (and should’ve) go further into the detail with the sense, but it just an example. With setting a pace to a story, yet again, other elements can be used to speed up, or slow down the pacing. So if that’s all, I’ve really have got to go, or Luna will kill me.
“Okay, but what abou-”
“You!”
Umm...hi Luna, how are you doing? Everything going well with Celestia?
“Stop. You are coming with me right now.”
Ahh! Umm...Mr. Astrocity, I’ll see you next week- Ahh! Luna quite pulling me with you magic.
-End-
It makes your pace go all to wack.
*Chew*
Had to see what was going on after class.
Yeah your still on the up and up.